Friday, November 12, 2010

Calmness in the Night *

TO DO LIST:
*Do change of address (check)...
*Buy groceries (check)...
*Call Verizon (check)...
*Secure and tie down rabbit cage and plants...

I woke up at 2:40 a.m. and jumped out of bed when I heard the effects of the high winds. The day before I had looked at the Weather forecast online and it didn't mention high winds. Daily I had been keeping a mental note that I needed to tie down the rabbit cage and my outside plants before the high winds start up yet I kept procrastinating. I didn't want my rabbit cage (along with my rabbit) to blow away with the gusty winds we get over here.

I ran downstairs, grabbed some scissors and rope and jetted for the rabbit cage. My plants were blowing frantically and swaying crazily. A nearby heavy object flies past me along with some other debris. The wind takes my long, brown hair and circles it like a tornado and twists it into a complete mess. The leaves cling onto the trees, not wanting to let go. It was a chaotic circus of events that affected natures quiet time.

Swoosh, whirl, boom are the noises all around me. A distant tree bark that was long in length collides with my forehead. After I look around at the surroundings,
I decide to take a peak at my velvety rabbit under the blue, torn tarp that had been covering his cage. Precious, which is the name I gave my precious rabbit, was completely calm and at peace, in his little shelter I had made for him. He looked like he was a rabbit in a hole or even a cave protected from the outside world. Precious was just sitting there munching on his rabbit food as though nothing was going on around him.

I decided that I should still secure the rabbit cage. I took some white rope to hold down the metal cage, and then I paused. I look up and I saw the most beautiful sky above me. It was so clear, yet deep and dark. It portrayed peace and calmness above. The winds had emptied the sky of it's fog, mist, and white puffy clouds that hide the universe; for all you could see were the very things that God created. The sparkling stars were numerous in the heavens way above my head. I took a moment to say "Thank you God" and acknowledged his peacefulness.

No matter what the chaos is, God may show up with his calmness and serenity that relaxes your soul and you know without a doubt, that there is nothing greater than God Himself.

(11/11/10)
Picture by Expressive Praise

Friday, October 8, 2010

Almost Passed Him By*

After my doctor's appointment today, I walked towards the crosswalk and I noticed a man near the street. He was holding a cardboard sign that read: "Need money for food."

I didn't need to think too much about it because I thought I didn't have any money in my purse to give. Besides it's hard to tell if people are telling the truth.
As I walked passed him and pushed the black crosswalk button, I heard God quietly say: "give him the $5 in your purse."

I forgot I had that money. I had placed it in my purse yesterday to save for gas money for Sunday. I wanted to give it to my friend who will give me a ride home from church. I thought, "that money is for gas money for my friend. It's not really mine."

I heard God say, clear as day, "I will take care of your friend, you take care of this man."

I stood a distance away from him with his back toward me, and quietly reached in my purse to get the money. Then I walked back and gently placed the rolled up bill in his hand. He was surprising clean, nicely shaven, and very grateful. He was not the typical person I have seen on the street corners asking for money.

The gentleman said a genuine and polite, "Thank you. God bless you."

I looked into this gentleman's eyes as I walked away. I noticed his innocence, his sincerity. He was so appreciative.

We never know who we are helping. We never know the needs of the people we see at the street corners, especially nowadays when the economy is down. Not everyone looks like the typical "needy" person like the ones who haven't showered for days or weeks, have holes in their clothes, or maybe are homeless; or ar not the ones who do drugs or drink to get drunk. There are sincere, innocent, and appreciative people.

I was so thankful that I obeyed God; I almost just passed him by and kept walking. Thankfully God doesn't do that to me.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

This is so "Precious*


I have been doing a lot of changes in my life since March 26. Trying to get all the negative junk out of my mind and be a more positive person. Trying to focus on positive stuff and not all the negative ones that I tend to dwell on. I didn't say it was easy, but I am a work in progress. I have been learning about attracting positive things and thinking in positive ways about my now, my past, and my future. I have been learning that I may attract good things by being more positive and a lot more that I may have to blog another day. Well, all this positive stuff is making me more understanding and closer to God.

Well, today God told me today: "go outside I have a surprise for you." I first thought, nah just my imagination. Then I thought okay, I will after I clean my breakfast dishes and fill up a water bottle. But I just kept hearing God say "go outside now, I have a surprise for you. I was picturing myself by my tomato plant but I went to one of my plants outside and was pinching off the dead flowers to cause more growth. While I was doing that, I had this urge to go toward my tomato plant that was on the side of the house. I walked over there, looked to see if any new strawberries have grown and then I went to my tomato plant. I knelt down and was admiring how big my tomatoes were growing. I said thank you, they are bigger since I moved the plant to this area. I thought that was my surprise.

Then my roommate comes walking through the gate adjacent her car. I watched her as she was coming towards me. I then looked under her car and spotted a black ball, the size of a soccer ball. Yet as I was staring at that ball, I kept thinking that I never saw this color of a ball in our yard. My roommate asked what I was staring at; I just told her I think there's a black ball under your car. I kept staring at it because I was confused of the ball.

To my amazement, the ball moved out of the shadow and I saw this beautiful brown bunny with remarkable ears. I leaped with joy and told my roommate. She grabbed some carrots from the house and I lured him closer to me so that I may catch him. He let me hold him.

He is so soft, with brown fur, not to mention his beautiful crystal like brown eyes. He is very gentle, calm, and tamed. He is so precious.

My roommate thought he must belong to one of the neighbors, so she called some of them, yet no one claimed him and no one knew where he belonged. As I was trying to catch the bunny, I remembered what God said, "Go outside; I have a surprise for you."

It totally made my day. I named the bunny "Precious" because it was a special gift from God. and Yes, He did surprise me.
Thank you God!!!!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

On the Outside, Looking In*

I was out of town in February so I wasn't able to attend my church; I attended another one with some relatives. I jotted down some things that I thought were interesting.

hard wooden pews with no padding (reminded me of my church days in Japan in the 80's).
Wooden floor
huge stain glass individual windows (in memory of a loved one was under each window).
huge pipe organ display
I did admire the 7 foot stainglass window by the one-toilet-bathroom.


Two young boys come down in middle aisle to light the tiered candles.
A boy in a robe comes down middle aisle, holding a huge opened Bible in which he places it in the hands of the pastor.
The Pastor places the Bible on the wooden Bible stand at the front.

Pipe Organ solo.
choir sings.
Everyone stands and re-sites something from out of the bulletin.
Everyone grabs a hymn and sings the 4 whole verses.

Then they recite this for worship. It says:
The leader says: We gather as those who want to walk with you Jesus to Calvary.
The church says: We know that it was there that you stretched out your arms of love on the hard wood of the cross that everyone might come within the reach of God's saving embrace.
The leader says: so clothe us in your Spirit, O Christ, that we, in reaching forth our hands in love, may serve you in all that we do.
The church says: May we be agents of your love, doers of your will, proclaimers of your grace, workers of your justice, servants of your peace, and missionaries in your name.


Kids come up for a little illustration with a missionary from Haiti.
The missionary does her illustration of how women carry gallons of water on their head.
Children's teacher comes up and starts speaking a blessing over kids.
Then everyone starts resiting a blessing over the children.


Anyone who has a prayer or praise report is given a microphone to speak.
Pastor then says, lets be together. So I bow my head as I assumed that meant we were to pray.
The choir starts singing, the pipe organ is playing a song.
The Pastor prays for all the needs then the church immediately says the Lords Prayer.
As soon as we say amen, the choir sings a verse.

Then the golden offering plate comes my way and it's so heavy I help a lady carry it to the next person who is on our same pew.
The plate is brought to the front and we all say a prayer over it (which is on power point).
After the missionary speaks again, immediatlely everyone stand to their feet and sings another hymn.

The pastor starts preaching and then everyone sings a song while the 3 young boys in robes come up the aisle again. This time the boy gets the open Bible from the pastor's hands and the the young boys all in robes snuffs out the candles. All three boys go down the middle aisle along with the pastor and missionary right behind them.
We are still singing. Then everyone says a loud AMEN.

Even though I was a little confused of when to recite things, sing, or stand up, or sit down, I am glad for the experience. It was very interesting, and I have to admit, I did do a lot of chuckling. It was a lot different then what I am used to.

All end with a quote from The Missionary:
"Every human being is a human being."

They also said: we got to GO where we got to GO and DO what we got to DO.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

What is Real Forgiveness?*

A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting in church listening to a sermon called "What God was saying at the cross." I thought it would be the same kind of sermon you hear around Easter time when he was betrayed, tortured, whipped, crucified, etc... Don't get me wrong, I appreciate all that Jesus did and I need the reminders of what he did. It's just this time, something was said that I never really thought about.

I've always heard, and even read about, what happened before Jesus was on the cross. There were those 12 disciples and even three of them were Jesus' close amigos (Peter, James, and John). The amigos seemed to spend a lot of time with him. He walked with them, spent time with them, he had them close by when he was at the garden praying a heart wrenching prayer. They were always there...

I've always heard (and read) that Peter denies Jesus three times. Yet that is not the end of the story.

I believe that Peter loved Jesus. That was his friend, his mentor, his coach, his counselor...

Yet Jesus told Peter that Peter would deny him three times. Peter says: No way Jose, I would never do that. Jesus tells him that after he will do it three times, a rooster would crow. He probably thought: yah right, that's never going to happen.

Judas betrays Jesus by placing him in the hands of the soldiers; Peter stood up and tried to protect him. Well, I think that is what he was doing when he sliced the soldiers ear off. I think putting the sword in his heart might have done more damage, but hey the guy stopped doing what he was doing because he was in pain from his ear being sliced off. Even though, Jesus picks up the bleeding ear, and miraculously heals the soldier, I still believe that Peter showed that he loved Jesus, even though he should not have hurt the man.

So here we are later, Peter is nearby when Jesus is being accused, betrayed, etc... Peter had to be hurting so much to know that his friend Jesus was going through some really tough times that were about to get worse. Three people ask Peter if he knows this Jesus, and three times, he says no. (Wow, his good friend is being hurt and he says that he doesn't even know Jesus. They ask if he has spent time with him and he won't admit to spending time with his close friend and his soon to be savior.)

Maybe Peter was afraid that he would be tortured also. So three people ask Peter; three times, Peter denies him. Just for a moment, it's quiet, the earth stands still, and the rooster crows. Peter feels his skin crawling, and this chilling shiver runs down his back. He realized what he has done. This uncontrollable, heart wrenching painful sorrow bursts out of him. He remembers what Jesus said earlier, and he sobs in remorse. He realizes what he did. He betrayed Jesus. Jesus was at one of his weakest hours of his life He needed his friends to be there for them. BUT not one was there at his side.

Jesus dies, miraculously resurrects, and comes back to his disciples which are some of his good friends. He sees Peter. Peter sees Jesus. (I wonder what Peter is feeling at this very moment. Jesus could have said: in my weakest hour, you were not there for me. You abandoned me. You left me. You knew what I would go through, and you didn't even have the audosity to say you know me. What kind of friend are you? You really hurt me. I will never talk to you again. I am taking you out of any ministry and I do not forgive you. You may walk away;don't ever speak to me or ask for me,because I will not come. Jesus didn't say any of this to Peter.

Three times, Jesus calls his name in the most loving voice: "PETER" and talks to him and restores him. Jesus showed so much love to Peter and allowed him to feel this unconditional love. He restores him and leads him into ministry. WOW!!! What a testimony! What love!

Wow, have you ever thought about how someone you know has really hurt you. They might have done some horrible things to you. I thought I had forgiven some people all these years, but I was wrong. I didn't have true forgiveness in my heart. I honestly didn't know how to have it, but something clicked when I heard this sermon a few weeks ago and it has changed my life forever. I understand forgiveness so much more. I have been forgiven and I have forgiven others.

Thank you God, for sending me people to speak your words to my heart. I gave my life to Jesus at an early age of eleven and I stuck to what I was taught, yet I never truly understood what forgiveness was really all about, until now. I now understand true freedom, true forgiveness, and being transformed and having a newness of mind. I get it now. God, thank you for rescuing my soul.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

My New Life*

Lord, my new life you planned for me;
I'm so excited and anticipating it to be
so much better with so much more joy.

This new life is what you have planned for me.
This joy, this peace, this love,
you have always wanted for me,
yet I never gripped it before.

Oh Lord, this new life
is so beyond my imagination, my dreams, and my hopes.
It's purely what you wanted for me.

Thank you Jesus for your love, your hope, your joy
and thank you for starting this restoration like never before.
Only through your love, your grace, and your peace
have I changed beyond what I could imagine.

Please help me grasp it all.
All the blessings you want for me.
Give me the strength to achieve my new goals
and give me the wisdom to understand all
that I need to change in my new life.


This new life, new hopes, and new dreams
are here because I understand the cross so much more
and because of the vessels you brought in my path.
Thank you God for restoring my soul,
and getting me out of the pit of hell.

I could not have done it without your love
and the vessels you sent my way to help.
I no longer feel unloved, ashamed or pity
for you have rescued my soul.

Thank you for the cross,
for giving up yourself in an unworthy manner,
for being unselfish, for being God.

This is what it means to be free
to be totally forgiven
and truly loved.

Lord I get it now, I understand.

Thank you for my new life,
new concepts, and my new adventure.
Thank you for giving me a second chance.

(Thank you God for renewing me March 26, 2010)

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Saying Goodbye*

I am saying goodbye to the American dream I once dreamed. The one where you have a husband, 2.3 kids, a home. The dream where you are a full-time mommy or have a full time job out of the house (or both). The American dream where you have enough finances to take care of your family, a vehicle, the housing expenses, and whatever else life throws at you. I am saying goodbye to good health and to wellness. This is the American Dream I have never experienced, and may never will. I am not saying goodbye to the fact it may never happen. I am saying goodbye for the losses in my life that I never knew in my past and I am opening the doors to new opportunities.

I say goodbye to my precious children I thought I would have many years ago. I say good bye to your laughter, the changing of your diapers, to the sleepless nights of hearing you cry for food or to be held. I say goodbye to bringing my newborn baby home with me. I say goodbye to seeing you as a baby grow into the toddler years. I say goodbye to watching you as you have your hands into everything, like the pots and pans you discovered in the lower cabinet. I say good bye to your giggles, to the new discoveries you would have found, and to all the endless hours I would have spent teaching you about life and God.

I say goodbye to the tears in your eyes that I would have wiped away or to the scrapes and cuts I would have kissed. I say goodbye to your tearful first day of school to your day of graduation. I say good bye to your accomplishments, talents, and fun you would have had.

I say goodbye to your teenage years. I say goodbye to the nights I would have felt your heartache of your broken relationships that you would have encountered. I say goodbye to helping with your homework night after night and also say goodbye to the times I would have had to discipline you. I say goodbye, my dear children for the love I would have given you and the love you would give me in return.

I say good bye to your joys, your sorrows, your happiness, your frustrations, your sadness, and your excitements, my dear little ones, that you would have experienced. I say goodbye to you my dear children.

I say goodbye to the husband of my younger years. I say goodbye to the wedding I thought I would plan and even to the honeymoon you might have planned. I say goodbye to the times we would get to know each other and I say goodbye to even the frustrations of marriage. I say goodbye to the countless years we would have spent together loving each other and worshipping God together. I say goodbye to the arguments, joys, disappointments, excitements, and the frustrations we would have experienced together over and over again. I say goodbye to you as a godly father to my children and a godly husband to me. I say goodbye to your love, your friendship, and to the nights you would have slept by my side. I say goodbye to the times you would be at work when I wished you were at home and I say goodbye to the times you were at home and I wished you were at work. I say goodbye to our love. I say goodbye, my dear husband.

I say goodbye to good health. I say goodbye to all the years I would have not spent at the doctors office. I say goodbye to energy, pain free days, great health, and wellness. I say goodbye to feeling well, vibrant, and healthy. I say goodbye to good health.

As I have written my goodbyes, I say hello to more opportunities that God will give me and I will experience. I had to say goodbye to the American Dream that has made me sorrowful for many years of not experiencing it. I say goodbye to the American dream that people have lived if they liked it or not. I say goodbye. I look forward to the things in life that may change my life forever. I look forward to the time of spending more time with God. I look forward to the hopes and new dreams that God puts on my heart. I look forward...

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

My Usual Doctor's Appointments*


Sometimes it just feels good for me to write things out; it is very therapeutic. So here it goes:

The questions you may be tired of answering at the doctor's office and how sometimes you may want to reply but don't because you are too polite.

My sarcastic appointments:


Name? on chart
Medical #? on chart
Age? I am a month older than the last time you asked.
Weight? 110 lbs. (give or take on a lot of factors)
Sex? None of your business (lol) Female/Male? If you can't tell that I am female, you really are the one who needs the doctor
Pulse? yes
Height? Still 5ft (haven't changed since the last time you asked)

Procedures?
Read attached medical file
Surgeries? Minor surgery, had 4 teeth pulled out at once
When did you have your last period? Excuse me, that is my business.
Are you Sexually Active? No
Are you pregnant? No, I just said I am not sexually active
Are you sure you are not pregnant? Yes
How sure are you that you are not pregnant? I am a 100% sure
Hmmm? You are kidding me, right?

Are you on any Medications? Yes, remember all the ones you prescribed. Actually, please read attached list
Why are you here? Because I am in excruciating pain everywhere.
Are you in any Pain? Yes, Everywhere
Where abouts is your pain? I just said, it's everywhere
Would you say your pain is all over your body? yes
On a scale of one to ten, how bad is your pain? It's a 10.
Where is this pain that is at a 10? everywhere.
What does your pain feel like? It's excruciating.
So would you say your pain is discomforting? No, I said it is excruciating.
So would you say it is throbbing, sharp, or dull? Who cares; it hurts!
Any sudden bowel changes? None ya business. Do I talk to you about your bowel movements?
Any other medical conditions? Yes, read attached medical resume.
Do you see any other specialists? Yes, the ones the doctor referred me to. Hello are you losing your mind? Please read attached medical resume.
When did you have your last blood work done? The info is in the chart you are holding.

Then the doctor comes in and asks:
"What can I do for you today?"

uggghh

A Chuckle with God*

So I am up this morning and it's 3:30 am. I have been awake for about half an hour without sleep. (Yes,I am using up a "spoon" already. If you don't understand, request last post). As I hobble to use the restroom, I look up at my wall and read a mini silver plague that I put on my wall. It's actually a Christmas ornament that I bought a week ago at Walmart for 75% percent off. Hey, that's a bargain: it was only 74 cents, so that was a gift, in itself. Woohoo!!!

The mini plague says:



"Trust - We know and rely on the love God has for us John 4:16."


I decided to look up the scripture. I know I have heard that saying before, but I wanted to make sure it was scriptural. As an adult, I realized a lot of things I thought was in the Bible, were just sayings people had said.

I look up John 4:16. It says, "He told her,'Go, call your husband and come back.'" I just laughed. So many people had that ornament hanging on their tree and thinking that the relying on God verse was John 4:16. I just laughed. Still chuckling. too funny. lol.

It also reminded me of several years ago, when my niece Jennifer was little. We were in my room and she wanted me to read a verse from the Bible. I asked her which one did she want me to read. We decided to play a game; she would point to a verse, and I would read it. The first verse we came upon was John 4:16. I think in a different translation it said, "Go get your husband." We both just laughed. Knowing that I am not married and her and I wanted that dream to be fulfilled one day, we just roared in laughter. It was a memory that I will cherish with my niece.

To continue with the ornament verse, I had to find out where that verse was. I looked up 1 John 4:16:
"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us."  

So the quote on my ornament was in the book of "First John" and not the gospel book of "John"....too funny


I might have got up early due to insomnia, but I had a chuckle with God this morning. Thank you God...

Monday, January 11, 2010

The Spoon Theory*

Yesterday, I wrote about how frustrated I have been so I did some physical activities the past two days to help me let go of the frustration. (Some of my friends said how great it was to be physically active and how I need to do more of it. Yet little do they know when a person has just one major illness it causes extreme pain, it probably is hard to get out of bed and face each morning. Not because of depression, but because one can barely move due to pain. Yet I am not that person who has just one illness).

This is Day 3, recovering from past few days: pain was so great, had a hard time getting up, let alone move my body. Waited to eat, because it took much strength to get up and get in gear. Stayed in my pj's because just moving was an accomplishment in itself. Took two naps after two hours of being awake. Had to have hot packs on my back for when I bent over, pain shot everywhere. So hot packs on neck and shoulders felt as good as the one on my back. This is just a glimpse of my day for I don't want you to read about my whole day but about this spoon theory which I read about a few minutes ago.

I didn't write the spoon theory nor do I have lupus, but I totally understand it and use the spoon theory in my personal life. If you want to know more about me or a close loved one who has some kind of pain, illness, or disability, please read it. I pray you begin to understand what we go through.

(Note: I am sending this blog to give awareness of what some people have to deal with daily.
I ask that you click on the link and read about the Spoon Theory.

The Spoon Theory:
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/


Sunday, January 10, 2010

Another Day, Another Blog*

Do you ever feel frustrated? Well I have been a bit frustrated with things that are in my life, yet out of my control. Sometimes certain circumstances happen, and you can't do anything about them except maybe pray. I seem to always flunk the test of my emotions when bad circumstances happen and I can't seem to shake it off.

Yesterday I felt I better do some active physical work or I am going to explode. I didn't know anyone who would want to pick up my pieces if I exploded, so I thought I better act fast. I went outside just to water my plants, but then I decided to rake the leaves in my front yard. Hey, I could have thought that I don't have to do this because it's not my house; I just rent a room and my room mate usually hires someone to do her yard work, so he could do it. Yet I didn't do this for my roomie; I did this for me and a feeling that God wanted me to do it.

I joyfully grabbed a rake and made some piles of leaves. Yes, It had to be God in on it, because me picking up a rake is not usually a joyful thing. Wow, I began to realize that I hadn't raked leaves since my family was in the Air Force in 1988. After my family left Texas, I mostly lived in Apartments from then on, except for my last roomie; and she hired a gardener also.

Anyway, I found it very therapeutic to rake up the leaves and reorganize my many potted plants. As I raked, I felt the tension ease off of my shoulders and seem to have fallen onto the big piles of multicolored leaves. My neighbor across the street was joking with me and said that Hell must have frozen over because I was working in the yard. I told him that IT DID. LOL -I can smile about it.

I knew that this little project I was working on wouldn't make anybody happy except for myself and that is all that mattered. As I moved the leaves, I began to see new green grass. That little carpet of grass made me smile and I guess the dogs forgot there was grass, because when they saw it, they began to enjoy it. I am glad that God was the creator of things. Because just moving the leaves to the side had uncovered the beautiful, fresh baby grass that was underneath. Just a hint of grass made me think about how God is always there. Even in the things that we don't understand, he is always there. When life throws punches, he is always there. When people are hurtful or circumstances aren't so great, he is always there.

I knew that the energy and strength it took for my weakened muscles would knock me for a loop and increase my fibro symptoms, if I did the raking, but I didn't care because it was a chance to feel God's love at work. Who would have known that raking leaves would make me feel more loved by God?


Then today I noticed I was feeling frustrated again. I thought, "I have got to get this out of my system." Yesterday's physical labor was therapeutic for me, and today I need it again. I decided to take a long walk.

As I walked to the freeway and back,I remembered the days when I was a wee little one, much smaller than I am now. There was nothing to be concerned about. It was an adventure in those days. I didn't have a care in the world, I just ate, slept, went to school, and played and played and played. Life was good, well as good as I thought it could be. I even thought that the abuse I experienced was how it was supposed to be, so everything was as good as I thought it could be. I didn't know any different.

I didn't have to worry or be concerned about paying bills, having a place to live, deciding who to vote for during campaigns, didn't have to think about jobs or illnesses or health care. I lived my life in a carefree way and my little life was dependent on my parents, their love, their care for my food, clothes, and shelter. They dressed me they way they wanted, I ate what they wanted, I lived where they lived, I went where they went.

God knows me; he seems to help me through many things that don't seem quite fair or that do not make sense. Like being in "too much pain" to not be accepted into the Chronic Pain Clinic, or being the hardest patient to many doctors because of the many chronic and silent illnesses I have, or being denied "low income housing" because of not making enough money. I don't understand all the crazy or disappointing things in my life, yet I know God does and he allows us to go through them. I almost always learn something from the circumstances in my life, yet I do not always like it, that's for sure and I do not learn fast.

I used to take many things for granted. Like just waking up and moving forward through out the day or walking in a straight line (I hope I never have to do the drunk driving test. First of all I don't drink, and 2nd I can't walk in a straight line. how do you spell vertigo? lol, oh yah, being with out a car needs to be presented too). Then there's that thing called thinking clearly. I took for granted the knowledge I could retain before I was knocked in the head 15 yrs ago. Getting up and feeling well enough to walk and get ready for church, is another. I never thought in all my years, that I would be in a position where pain was too great to get up. I took all those minor childhood to 20- somethings pains for granted, if that's possible.

Before I was ill many years ago, I didn't think about how I would get anywhere, I just went. I didn't think about the consequences of eating certain food, I ate everything (yes, even ask my family. I ate everything except seafood. I was the "Mikey of the house.") Things are different, the world spins faster, and time is challenging. Circumstances come, Circumstances go, and you learn from them. May God help us all.