I have a confession to make. I dread going to bed every night. The worst part of my physical pain is in the middle of the night.
I have more energy between 8-10 pm. Then I have to get myself in the mode to go to bed. I don't want to. Yet I know I have to sleep to get recharged.
The sleepless nights, the intense pain, the tossing and turning, the lack of nice rest. It is frustrating. It makes me to not want to go to bed for the night because when I wake up in the morning, I'm not refreshed; I'm recovering from an intense painful night. I wake up with low energy and a stiff body that can barely walk to the bathroom, let alone eat. Eating is another story because I have bad reactions to food. So yes I do dread going to bed at night......and every day and night, I go through the same thing. This pain is no fun.
It usually takes 2-3 hours to recover after getting up. Yet hopefully it will get better someday. When I can't sleep I have done different things to relax me like praying, doing word search puzzles, or thinking of good memories. Sometimes my creative writing talent kicks in and I think of something I can write on my blog, or how I can encourage ones in the fibromyalgia group I lead on face book, or I go on Facebook and browse with the screen's brightness really low which usually sleep doctors say is a bad idea. Yet when you can't sleep, sometimes it can feel like whole world is asleep but yourself,
I do write these posts to those going through debilitating pain, to say, you are not alone. I understand.
(If you have fibromyalgia, you can join support group, go to the home page of this blog)
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