Sunday, May 18, 2008

LORD, I GIVE YOU MY VESSEL*

God, I am your willing vessel.
Do to me what you will.
I am a vessel in training;
Broken, chipped, yet willing to be molded
again and again.
Do to me what you will,
so that you may be glorified
over and over.

For it is for you,
why I breathe
why I face each morning
and each night.
For it is for you,
why I live,
why I work,
move or rest.

I give you my ALL.
My WHOLE vessel.
It may be small and a bit fragile,
but it's ALL I have;
I give it to you.
EVERY piece, EVERY inch.
My Vessel, I give to you.
LORD, I give you MY VESSEL.


May 15, 2008
11:23 p.m.

Your love is ALL I Need*

God, I am your willing vessel;
Pour yourself inside of me.
I give my whole life to you,
that is who I really want to be.
Nothing else in this world
really matters, unless I have you.
Without you, everything would be hopeless;
so thankfully I have your love, so true.
Your love is really all I need.



I wrote this on May 14, 2008
6:30 p.m.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Side Effects from Meds*

I will tell you a little of what I went through in the last 30 days. But first, let me tell you three things that are important. 1) Believe in God , 2) Trust God and 3) Have one to three close friends (to help guide you, pray for you, and ones you can confide in who are trustworthy). You never know when a tragedy happens or unexpected medical problems happen and you need God and those close friends to lean on.

Okay, All I remember is that I went to church Christmas Sunday, had Christmas at my friend’s house, and then two days later I had one medical problem after another regarding my headaches/migraines. The next thing I know was my room-mate was making plans for new year’s eve. I seriously asked her, “Is tomorrow new year’s eve?” No way, where did that week go. I was practically comatose for a whole week and didn’t realize the world spinned passed me over and over again. With all these health issues, I didn’t feel my normal self, I couldn’t speak correctly, and believe me, I was just a mess. My close friends called to make sure I was okay, made sure I was eating, and just lifted me up in prayer. I am so grateful for my room mate who took me a few times in my distress and just prayed over me. The rest I honestly don’t remember except for some horrible side effects. I remember staring at the tv or the four walls of the house a lot, but a lot of it is a blurr. I remember trying to pray, but my friends had to help me pray, because I couldn’t do it on my own. My mind was so unclear, I was so out of it. 

Recently I felt I was close to death, but the feeling was stronger than death itself. Let me explain. I excitedly went to church for the first time January 20 since Christmas Sunday, but I came home with a rather horrible headache, so that night I took some new medication the doctor prescribed. I then grabbed an ice pack to place over my eyes, and went to bed. I slept for a couple of hours. I woke up very nauseated, and then I felt like I was having a heart attack without the chest pain. Then I felt this weird sensation all over my body like oxygen was leaving my brain, veins, and heart. I felt so weak, that I couldn’t get up out of bed, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t see clearly. Lights were flashing in my vision. (I later found out that the medication caused my esophagus to spasm which makes you feel like you are having a heart attack, well that’s what the doctor told me). 

 Thank God, it wasn't a real heart attack. Medication can do horrible things. So now that is my 3rd new medication I have had to throw away because of the side effects.
I don’t know if any of this is making any sense. Maybe I am writing it because You need a good laugh, or maybe you need to realize I am still needing prayer. Or maybe you need to realize that yes, everyone needs to make sure they are right with God at all times, because at any second of any day, at any time, something can happen. 

Don’t take you life for granted! Believe and trust God, have some close friends near by, and make sure God is your God because you never know when it may be too late. You may have a medicated heart attack-like symptoms like I had or you may have a real heart attack and die. How’s your relationship with God?
When a friend or pastor asks, “is your heart and life right with God?” Seriously make sure it is...You never know when you are going to die... or not.
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To finish the story, I emailed my headache doctor today, since she is a Christian, I asked her to pray before I take any more medications she has put on order. (She wants to start me on two more headache meds). 
She emailed me back and said: I will pray but in order to do that and to really listen to the voice of God, I’m not going to be back to you for a day or so. I take this seriously so please remember that I will be taking it into prayer and will get back to you when I hear... 
PRAISE GOD...Just knowing that my doctor is going before the throne of God on my behalf puts joy in my soul.
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Thank you for all of you who have and are praying for me I appreciate it ! And for all those who have called me, went to get my meds for me, and just was there for me, I thank you so much.