An Amazing Present

Merry Christmas everyone. Actually I just spent  the day with my dear friend Peggy who I've known for 15 years. Her son Darrel, was the guy who was like a brother to me, who passed away last month. Since he died a few weeks before Christmas last year, Peggy and I exchanged presents today. It was more special to learn that before Darrel passed, that he helped pick out a blanket for me. On it was a big picture of a kitten who was the same color of my cat Gracie who recently died. They never got to see Gracie because he was sick the last 2 years so they had no idea what color she was. It's amazing that he picked out a blanket that would comfort my heart in the future because of losing him and Gracie.  He had no idea but I bet God had his hand in this.

It is interesting how things happen in life. I am doing better than I was from all the losses. Yet I know I have gained 4 more loved ones in Heaven, one of whom is very furry...oh and my dear Buttons greeted them all..he was another furry one in Heaven...he got to show my Gracie and more loved ones, the golden streets and the amazing vivid green grass. One day we will all be united. Until then, I'm living my life and enjoying being with loved ones still on earth.

January 2019

Stop and Listen to God

God has been telling me to get up early to pray the last couple of days. Sometimes I don't know what to pray...and He says: "that is okay....because I want you to stop and listen...Listen to me...Listen to the birds chirping. Yes I made those birds....Watch the sunrise....Yes I made that sunrise....Look at the grass and the trees....Yes I made those too. Do you see the humans driving by?... I made the human race... Do you hear the noise?...I created noise...and yes, I created you to hear because I created the ear...and if you ever think, well some people might be deaf, and not hear...Well, I gave them other things that are extra special...You would have to be deaf, to get to know what that is."

 

There are many gods out there but has any of them ever made the sunrise?  No they haven't...because I am the true God. They can try to reproduce what I make but some things are just impossible.

"Search Party: Lost and Found" - Sermon Notes

Here are notes from the sermon my pastor, Chris Norman, preached on April 23, 2017

In church we need to stop focusing on what we can get from the church like potlucks and certain activities and start focusing on lost and hurting people. We need to do a search party and look for lost and hurting souls.
Jesus didn't focus on money and food throughout his ministry, he focused on finding lost souls and disciplining them. Teaching them.

-Get to the heart of Jesus.
*What am I known for? 

*How am I carrying the name of Jesus in my daily life?

-The Church is home. When people come home, their lives start changing.
-The Church is a changing agent.  God uses the church to change people's lives.

“Therefore, say to the Israelites: ‘I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment. I will take you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God, who brought you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. And I will bring you to the land I swore with uplifted hand to give to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob. I will give it to you as a possession. I am the Lord.’”        Exodus 6:6-8(NIV)

1) I (the Lord) will bring you out of Egypt, bondage, and slavery.

2) I (the Lord) will deliver you out of bondage. He will take the bondage of Egypt out of you. {If you are always in bondage, you need to learn how to live without being in bondage}.

3) I (the Lord) will redeem you to bring you back to who you are intended to be.

4) I (the Lord) will take you as my people.

-Know God

-Grow in community and in Him (God).

-Discover your purpose. God put something in you that He intends to fulfill in you to give to the body of Christ. 

Do what God called you to do!!!

 Live out what Jesus called us to do that we would be a search party.

Search and see lives changed.

Click below to listen to Pastor Chris' sermon
Pastor Chris "Search Party: Lost and Found"
https://youtu.be/14MdrxXEgT4

Happy Easter

Man made water fountains,
Buildings and towers.

God created huge mountains,
Oceans and flowers.

Man made fruit pie with flaky crust,
Steeples, and a baby crib.

God created man out of dust,
And woman from man's rib.

Man made I-pods, Tvs, smart phones,
Robots, planes, and extravagant cars.

God created blood and hardy bones,
Heaven, earth, and spectacular stars.

Man can appear so strong, confident and brave,
And be knowledgeable and do great works.

God is greater and has sent Jesus who does save
The world from sin and has some great perks.

Man can have a life filled with an amazing love,
Because God sent his Son to die on a cross many moons ago.

God's unconditional grace was poured from above
Just accept Christ, confess your sins, and there is nothing you owe.

Man can be guided (by God), through a process and blossom, 
and be strengthened by Him every day.

God will commune with you on earth and in Heaven. That's awesome!
And will be with you every step of the way.

Happy Easter 
March 27, 2016
2:16 am 

Are You Angry at God? Because of Pain?

Are you in intense pain or have a debilitating illness, disease, or even cancer? Did you reach out to God for him to heal you? Are you so angry at God for not taking it away?

You may have reached out, cried, begged, pleaded, demanded for God to take it away, but He didn't. I have been there, where I went through that with God and then I felt guilty for being angry at God. A couple of years ago, someone told me: "its okay to be angry at God. What, you don't think He can handle it?"

God can handle it!  Its okay to be angry and hurt, for a season. The anger is probably derived from hurt.  You might have felt like God didn't care enough about you to heal you or maybe you felt abandoned or alone.  It's possible that the symptoms or pain felt too big to handle. You may be grieving the life you once knew: the good health, being able to juggle family, employment, good health, great social life, volunteering, or anything else that is a part of a normal every day life.

I was injured at work over 20 years ago where a 20 lb box fell on my head. It changed my life. I went from working full time, with great health, was taking classes at a nearby college, attending and volunteering at my church, and going out with my friends all the time, etc...to a life that was the opposite. I was not able to work like I wanted and was going to never-ending doctor's appts because of the tremendous health issues, debilitating pain, and symptoms that accumulated. I couldn't handle being around a lot of everyday sounds because they sounded like sirens blasting in my ears, couldn't go outside a lot because my body temperature changed to being extra sensitive to heat and cold, and my social life plummeted. So my life felt hopeless and useless especially because I wanted to do so much and couldn't. I saw my friends building families, careers, and a life I wanted. I felt so alone, abandoned by God, and I grieved for many years.

My life is not what I wanted it to be but because of all that I went through and still go through, God changed me. I now am able to identify with a lot of people who go through tons of pain, encourage people all over the world through Facebook and the internet. God has given me a desire and talent to be an artist and has given me peace and joy through the pain. It's a distraction from all the health issues I deal with in my body.

God never promised to take us out of the pain, but walk with us, THROUGH it. He knows what you are going through. He has heard your prayers, seen your tears. Something new might be birthed because of the hard times that you go through. You may not see it now, but God may use you THROUGH the pain. It could be a desire to help people build a new organization to meet people's needs, donate time or money to a charity in another country or down the street, write a book, pray for the hurting people, write letters to disabled vets, make quilts for sick children in hospitals, etc....the opportunities are endless.

Remember that when the pain is so hard, sometimes all you can do is look to God for strength. I cling on to Him everyday for His strength. May you do the same.
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Pain is No Respecter of Persons

Pain is no respecter of persons. It knows no boundaries. It plays no favorites. Pain doesn't care about religion, nationality, age, culture, what size or shape you are, or what continent you live on. A person may not have done anything for the Pain to grip their body.

Debilitating chronic pain can make you grieve the life you once had, like employment, more physical abilities, energy and strength; good health, bigger social life, and much more.

A good support team including, family and friends, is vital to the person's emotional well-being, especially at this time.

Pain can attack at any time of your life and may stay for a season or the rest of your life on earth. Some people turn to drugs, alcohol, and even overeating, while others turn to God or some other higher power they look to. Some receive healing from God, yet some don't. When they ask for a healing and haven't received one, some turn away from God because of the intense pain and rejection they feel. Yet little do they know, that God is by their side, holding their hand and going with them, through the pain.

If you are one of these, don't give up...there will come a time when the emotional pain that you deal with, won't be as strong as the physical pain. God does love you and He can give you strength through the pain. Believe me, I know, because I deal with tremendous pain with a roller coaster of symptoms, daily. I know what its like to struggle, and lose the life I once had. I grieved for years over not being able to do what I once could, or be who I used to be. I had to discover the new me. It was very challenging, but through God's love and strength, I conquered it. This isn't the life I requested, but it's the life I have now. I can be more damaging to my emotions or I can make the best of it. For me, I found my purpose is to help encourage others through the pain they endure.

It's okay to grieve your losses, but then find out your purpose in this life. 

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus"

Pain verses People who Don't Understand

To all of you who have been hurt by others because of the words they say about your health issues and pain, I apologize on your behalf....

To all of you who have been hurt even by people in church, I apologize on your behalf, as well...

I know this may be a touchy subject, but I think I should talk about it. So many people say things, even in the church, that they think are being helpful and can make a person actually feel awful. 

Try to remember that they are human too, and make mistakes. I know that's easier said, then done.

I have been in chronic pain for over 20 years after a head injury and have gained other major heath issues like Fibromyalgia. I know what it's like to be in a public setting, and even in church, where people have said things to me that brought me to tears.

I have probably heard it all (from people I know): "-If you pray more, you will be healed; -Don't talk about your pain, you are given light to  something negative. -Don't talk negative. -Focus on others who are worse off than you. -If you exercise more, or take this medicine, etc....your pain will be gone. -Don't claim it (your health issues). -You must have some hidden sin in your life. -I am healed of my pain, so you should do what I have done to be healed." Then there is my favorite from a TV evangelist, "if you send $2000, God will heal you." No, I didn't send the money.

Now when I sit back and think about all the things that were hurtful, I can smile. Nowhere in the Bible are any of those listed as a definite healing.  Yes we need to be faithful, yes there is a time and place for talking about our pains or health issues....but just because we aren't healed, doesn't mean we are less of a person, or even less of a Christian.

I have even had a person (who wasn't a close friend) say some of these things listed above, to me, then a year later she was diagnosed with cancer and ended up dying. When she told me she was going through radiation treatment, I so wanted to tell her what she told me: "don't claim it (the cancer)," but I bit my tongue and was respectful.

If there is anyone who has given up on God or the church because of what people said to you about your health condition, please reconsider God's love for you. I don't always understand why He doesn't heal a lot of people like they did in the Bible days. But I do know that God gives me strength each day. He helps me through it and even provides other resources. It took a lot of guidance, counseling, reading books, crying out to God, researching my health issues,  support groups, chronic pain management, and having a support team of friends and mentors to get to where I am today.

It's ok to talk about your pain. It's even ok, if you are not healed. Pray for a healing, but realize God may say no. He may use your pain for something special. I understand the meaning of me not being healed, it's because I can help others.  If I didn't have the tremendous pain, health issues, and symptoms that I deal with, I wouldn't have any idea what other people, who are in pain, deal with. So for that, I'm grateful.

(((( I know that the greatest healing is in Heaven where there is no more sickness, sadness, or pain. Yes, I look for that day, for eternity ,without pain.))))

A tribute to Roy Vasquez

I have great memories of Roy. He was my neighbor for several years. It all started from when he invited me to the prayer meetings on Tuesday nights at First Assembly of God on Mountain View Ave in 1999. I was helping Jon L. with the office work for the youth group on Tuesday Mornings. Roy said if I would stay for prayer, he would buy me some tacos.  When he came back to the church,  we talked in the foyer and he presented me with two tacos for me and two for him that he bought at Jack in the Box. I was thankful for the tacos, but those were the greasiest tacos.  Yet he loved eating them which made me laugh.

There were times that I would bring my lunch and eat it on the stairs outside of the church that were located on the side building.  Roy and Woody would walk by because they were always working around the church.  One time they saw me eating cucumbers along with my lunch . They each laughed and told me that what I was eating was rabbit food and I need to eat bigger meals. (I was trying to eat healthy meals).

I would laugh when Roy would talk about his lunch. Before he was married,  he often ate his so-called burritos. He would put any leftovers in a tortilla, including spaghetti, and call it a burrito.

Then there was this time that I poured my heart out to the members in the prayer meetings and tell them of the horrible physical pain I was going through. The next day, Roy told me that he could actually feel the pain that I was going through in my jaw for a few seconds that last night. He said God had him  experience it so he knew how to pray for me more. I don't want anyone to suffer like I do, but it meant so much to me that he did. I saw so much compassion and sympathy in my brother's eyes. 

I had this amazing dream in June of 2015, which was about seven months after he entered Heaven.  In my dream, I was at a retreat with a bunch of people I knew. We were waiting for the next session to start.  Then Roy stopped by to say hi.  He gave me the biggest brotherly hug (that I even felt when I awoke from my dream). I was trying to do a selfie picture with Roy, but everyone wanted a picture with him.  He began to tell us all the amazing miracles that happened in the inner city and how God used him so much. He saw his brother Bobby and then they started wrestling. It gave us all a chuckle.  We ended up doing a group photo but Roy kept picking up the remote control to take the picture and we had to show him that the newer cameras do selfie group shots.  And then I woke up from my dream.  I felt like my dear Brother Roy had just come to my home.  I still felt his hug when I woke up. Thank you God,  I needed that from my brother from another  mother,  as he would tell me.

I have great memories of my dear brother Roy and I cherish the time I knew him on this earth.  One day I will see all of my brother and sisters that went to Heaven before me and it will be a time of reminiscing about great memories we have with God and the people he brought in our lives here on earth.

God's Painted Artistic View

I awoke to the smell of a skunk that showed himself in my neighborhood. No, I don't like the smell of a skunk, yet God created the skunk.

I peak out the window as I close it to block the putrid smell lingering in the air. Then I see this majestic site from my third story window. The hues of primary blue, cobalt turquoise,  and yellow light temporarily fill the sky while titanium white highlights the cobalt blue mountains.God you created this spectacular scene.

The trees of various sizes and shapes have what appears to be a dark Prussian blue yet the color is just an illusion due to the early morning shadowing hues of carbon black. The trees are looking up beyond themselves as if to praise the creator.

The speckled grass, of  permanent  green and yellow medium colors, down below hasn't felt  an y humans walk upon it  this morning. This is a new day of hopes and dreams that haven't yet been awaken for most people's lives are in bed to capture what zzzz 's they can. 

The many birds are singing their tunes in the distant and adjacent trees.  I wonder what they are thinking. Their melody is like an angelic choir to my ears.  They are not alike but of different notes and pitches, singing their best for the creator. Maybe they are praising their creative conductor.

After fifteen minutes,  the sky has lightened up with various shades of white that makes every  thing so vivid. Also Titanium white, off white, and hints of yellow light, grays, and not-so-yet sky-blue hues are canvassing the tiny miniature trees atop the mountain. This glimpse of the morning is a reminder that God is the creator. 

God, your uttermost being fills the earth, the whole universe and beyond. Thank you for this new beginning to start over and to learn from yesteryear. God, may I always know who you are: a breath of fresh air on a crisp, fresh morning, well, except for the scent of the skunk you brought to wake me up. You brought the smell of that one-white-striped animal to focus on you as a reminder that you created it all.

(Written on June 17, 2015  at  4:45 am)

God Used a Cricket to *Save My Life*

In December of 2014, I was having problems with feeling very weak and nauseated. I do deal with Fibromyalgia (Fibro) and a list of other health issues so feeling weak and nauseated is not new to me. Even Fibro sometimes feels like the flu. Yet this was weird because I couldn't get up off the floor of my lounge pad on that Monday.  Usually I can go about doing things a little at a time, but something was different this time.  I thought that it was just another health issue I have to endure so it didn't really bother me too much. On Tuesday,  I felt a little better but I could barely do my laundry. I just sat by the dryer and pulled out the clothes and threw them over my head to the table because I was too weak to get up. I didn't even fold all of them. I don't normally act like this.

On Wednesday, I saw a cricket in my kitchen. I don't like crickets because I have a hard time sleeping with the sounds they make of chirping or chiming in the middle of the night.  I tried to catch it with a cup I found nearby, yet it hopped to the back of the stove.  Grrr, I thought. I am never going to be able to get it. As it hopped behind the stove, I leaned toward the wall to see if I could see it.  All of a sudden I smelled gas coming from behind the stove.

I immediately called the gas company, and sure enough the gas repairman confirmed the gas leak coming through the regulator of my stove.  As he was fixing it, I looked around, behind, and under the stove to locate the cricket, but no luck. After the repairman left, I opened the windows and felt fresh air fill my lungs immediately. I even noticed that my cat Buttons was walking around more after I opened the windows.

The next day I saw the cricket hopping out of the kitchen. I ran to catch him because I didn't want him in my bedroom making those cricket sounds. Yet I felt sorry for him. Poor little guy; I didn't hear him make a peep the night before. He probably felt sick, too, due to the gas leak. It was because of him that I smelled the gas leak, so I decided to capture that little guy and bring him back to the good outdoors where he belonged.  I walked down the three flights of stairs, opened the door, and released him. I gave him a second chance as I got one too.

God sent that little cricket to save my life and also my cat's life. If I didn't see him hop near the back of the stove, I wouldn't have known I had a gas leak.  I have heard people say that animals (cats and dogs) have warned people when danger was close by. God must have a sense of humor, because he sent me a cricket.

Will You Take this Path?* to be Born of God?*

Are You Born of God?

When people ask this question, they don't literally mean that you were birthed and

came out of the womb of God, like a baby comes out of the womb of his mother. 

They are talking about it spiritually.


1 John 5 verse 1 says: 

" Whosoever believeth that Jesus is the Christ is born of God: and every one that loveth him that begat loveth him also that is begotten of him." KJV 

or if you want to read it in an easier standard, let's try the NIV:

 "Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well." (1 John 5:1)

and then there is John 3:16 (NIV) says: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

In other words, If you believe that Jesus is the Christ, you are born of God a.k.a. being born again (spiritually). Our father God and his son Jesus Christ are one, so if you love one, you love the other.  It's kind of like eating ice cream, you like eating the ice cream and all it's ingredients that make up the ice cream. They are all as one.

that concludes being born of God 101



note: all scripture is from www.biblegateway.com

Lois Arneson...a True Legacy*

I recently went to a memorial service for a dear friend of mine who had died on December 18, 2013. I have always thought of Lois Arneson as a loving person, a godly woman, a prayer warrior, and like a grandma to me. Every time I saw her, I sure would get a nice, big hug from her. You could feel her love through those hugs.  She also made me some nice items: a quilt, a soccer ball, scissors holder, and some pillow cases to match the quilt. I was also one of the many people she sent birthday cards too. I just looked in my recipe book, and sure enough, I did get her recipe for Pecan Pie Muffins, one year.

Then in July of 2011, she presented me with a special gift. It was a Christmas couch cover, or a couch quilt you can cuddle with. It is so pretty. She gave it to me in July because she had been working on it for awhile due to her failing eyesight. She told me she couldn't see very well, but she didn't let that stop her from making this beautiful Christmas blanket just for me. You couldn't tell that the maker of the quilt had any eye problems because it's nicely made.  It really touched my heart that she gave it to me at that time. Every year, when I pull out the Christmas decor, the Christmas blanket goes on the couch. It reminds me of her special love for me and for making people special.

After the memorial service, I talked to a few family members of Lois'. One of them said that "Lois was so loving to us (her family), and it was kind of expected since we were her family, but I had no idea that she was so loving to so many people outside of her family until we heard everyone talk about her here (at the memorial service). She gave love to a variety of ages (the young and the old)." 
Another relative, I think it was Lois' nephew, had a bag of Lois' items. There was a stack of papers that she had piled up in her room. He shared some of them with us. After I gave him my last name when he asked me what is was, he pulled out a red card stock with a poem I had written in 2005. Lois had kept that poem I had written. It really touched my heart that she had that poem in her special pile.

She has taught me to treat everyone the same. Treat each one with special love.  And Pray, Pray, Pray. She sure loved God....

To me, it seems she treated everyone with that special love. As Chris Neal said, "Lois was the church 'Mom.'"  That was our Lois. She sure loved people and we sure loved her.  She definitely was the "Church Mom"... or in my case..., "The Church Grandma."

I heard someone recently say: "A Christian doesn't die, they just have a change of address."

Living Stone*

I read this scripture today.
"Coming to Him as to a living stone, rejected indeed by men, but chosen by God and precious, you also, as living stones, are being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ."
1 Peter 2:4-5

I have heard this scripture preached so many times, but I always hear people say that "Jesus is a living stone" and that is all I hear about this scripture. Yet even though he is the living stone we also are living stones.  The scripture above says:

"...you also, as living stones, are being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ."

(picture from photobucket.com)

 It is like he is building our spiritual bodies into spiritual houses. If everyone is a stone, think of how strong our churches or families would be if we work on them together.  Putting one stone on top of another stone can hold things together; we can make big structures out of this rock material. If we are stones, then we are solid rock....what use do stones or rocks have?

"A lot of cities are made from stone... Roads, parking lots, bridges, airports, and highways are all made from crushed stone and concrete." (http://www.rocksforkids.com/RFK/BuildingStones.htm)    Stones and rocks have a lot of use...we can have that same usefulness in God.

If Jesus is the cornerstone, he's connected to us, and joining himself with us. He is connecting himself with us together; and you and I together, to be stronger. Stones are hard to crush...they are solid. 

Be the solid stone that God wants you to be, yet allow Jesus in your life as the Cornerstone.



To learn what other stuff you can make out of rocks, stone, or minerals, go to http://www.rocksforkids.com/RFK/BuildingStones.htm...

Acts of Random Kindness?*

I have been hearing lately from on of my churches (and even online) that we should be spreading more kindness. I even watched a couple of online videos of people helping others out randomly. One video has 2 guys giving t-shirts, water, and snacks to homeless people.  Another video has various people helping others in various situations.
I think of myself as kind, yet I realized I need to work on being more kinder.  Sometimes the physical pain I am in gets in the way of what I want to do. So since I am at the doctors' appts a lot lately, I decided to be kinder to the patients that go on the elevator. I have to ride 6 floors up to get to my doctor's appts and the elevator door constantly opens on various floors as I go up and down the elevator.

Recently I started smiling more and chatting with everyone that enters the elevator...Then I noticed that people who looked like they were in pain or overcome with health issues were returning my smiles and some were even laughing. They looked surprised that a stranger was actually talking to them. Then I started smiling and waving at children that walked by me and  I noticed the children and their parents started smiling.

This last week while I was at Kaiser, waiting for my bus to arrive, I noticed an older lady who seemed like she was struggling and looked worn out. She was trying to get her husband who was in a wheelchair settled in their car, plus she had a bag, purse, and other items she was juggling. She looked so worn out.  I decided to leave my seat on the bench and go help her.  While she was in the car fastening her husband in the seat belt, I grabbed her bag and put it in the opened trunk. I told her that she looked like she could use a hand. She thanked me and smiled a big grin. As I went back and sat on the bench, I noticed she was smiling while she was in her car...Before she drove away, she honked, waved, and had a huge smile on her face.

We don't always know what people are going through.  Just a simple act of me putting one bag in her car, made her day,,,and it added joy to my heart.  What can you do to brighten someone's day?  Just one act of random kindness can add a smile and happiness to someones day.

"It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35b
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9 
"Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:18


Watch these inspiring u-tube videos of some ways you can help others. Click on these below: 

Random Acts of Kindness Caught on Film

You are Here for a Reason (Life Vest Inside)



videos are from http://www.youtube.com/)

God, You Made it All*

Oil Painting by Expressive Praise

God, You Made It All

You made the beautiful oceans,

the calming seas,

and the flowing rivers

that are in every nation.

You made the gorgeous blue skies,

the enormous trees,

and the blossoming flowers

that enhance your creation.

You made the amazing cheetahs,

to the smallest ant,

and all the various animals

that roam this big earth.

You made the tiniest person

to the tallest human,

and all those in between

who have been in the process of birth.

God, you made it all.

Your creativity is beyond my human imagination.

Your love of color and variety is everywhere you are.

You have painted the earth into existence.

No one else could do what you have done.

You are truly amazing.

8-20-12

2:45 am

What is Real Forgiveness?*

A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting in church listening to a sermon called "What God was saying at the cross." I thought it would be the same kind of sermon you hear around Easter time when he was betrayed, tortured, whipped, crucified, etc... Don't get me wrong, I appreciate all that Jesus did and I need the reminders of what he did. It's just this time, something was said that I never really thought about.

I've always heard, and even read about, what happened before Jesus was on the cross. There were those 12 disciples and even three of them were Jesus' close amigos (Peter, James, and John). The amigos seemed to spend a lot of time with him. He walked with them, spent time with them, he had them close by when he was at the garden praying a heart wrenching prayer. They were always there...

I've always heard (and read) that Peter denies Jesus three times. Yet that is not the end of the story.

I believe that Peter loved Jesus. That was his friend, his mentor, his coach, his counselor...

Yet Jesus told Peter that Peter would deny him three times. Peter says: No way Jose, I would never do that. Jesus tells him that after he will do it three times, a rooster would crow. He probably thought: yah right, that's never going to happen.

Judas betrays Jesus by placing him in the hands of the soldiers; Peter stood up and tried to protect him. Well, I think that is what he was doing when he sliced the soldiers ear off. I think putting the sword in his heart might have done more damage, but hey the guy stopped doing what he was doing because he was in pain from his ear being sliced off. Even though, Jesus picks up the bleeding ear, and miraculously heals the soldier, I still believe that Peter showed that he loved Jesus, even though he should not have hurt the man.

So here we are later, Peter is nearby when Jesus is being accused, betrayed, etc... Peter had to be hurting so much to know that his friend Jesus was going through some really tough times that were about to get worse. Three people ask Peter if he knows this Jesus, and three times, he says no. (Wow, his good friend is being hurt and he says that he doesn't even know Jesus. They ask if he has spent time with him and he won't admit to spending time with his close friend and his soon to be savior.)

Maybe Peter was afraid that he would be tortured also. So three people ask Peter; three times, Peter denies him. Just for a moment, it's quiet, the earth stands still, and the rooster crows. Peter feels his skin crawling, and this chilling shiver runs down his back. He realized what he has done. This uncontrollable, heart wrenching painful sorrow bursts out of him. He remembers what Jesus said earlier, and he sobs in remorse. He realizes what he did. He betrayed Jesus. Jesus was at one of his weakest hours of his life He needed his friends to be there for them. BUT not one was there at his side.

Jesus dies, miraculously resurrects, and comes back to his disciples which are some of his good friends. He sees Peter. Peter sees Jesus. (I wonder what Peter is feeling at this very moment. Jesus could have said: in my weakest hour, you were not there for me. You abandoned me. You left me. You knew what I would go through, and you didn't even have the audosity to say you know me. What kind of friend are you? You really hurt me. I will never talk to you again. I am taking you out of any ministry and I do not forgive you. You may walk away;don't ever speak to me or ask for me,because I will not come. Jesus didn't say any of this to Peter.

Three times, Jesus calls his name in the most loving voice: "PETER" and talks to him and restores him. Jesus showed so much love to Peter and allowed him to feel this unconditional love. He restores him and leads him into ministry. WOW!!! What a testimony! What love!

Wow, have you ever thought about how someone you know has really hurt you. They might have done some horrible things to you. I thought I had forgiven some people all these years, but I was wrong. I didn't have true forgiveness in my heart. I honestly didn't know how to have it, but something clicked when I heard this sermon a few weeks ago and it has changed my life forever. I understand forgiveness so much more. I have been forgiven and I have forgiven others.

Thank you God, for sending me people to speak your words to my heart. I gave my life to Jesus at an early age of eleven and I stuck to what I was taught, yet I never truly understood what forgiveness was really all about, until now. I now understand true freedom, true forgiveness, and being transformed and having a newness of mind. I get it now. God, thank you for rescuing my soul.

My New Life*

Lord, my new life you planned for me;
I'm so excited and anticipating it to be
so much better with so much more joy.

This new life is what you have planned for me.
This joy, this peace, this love,
you have always wanted for me,
yet I never gripped it before.

Oh Lord, this new life
is so beyond my imagination, my dreams, and my hopes.
It's purely what you wanted for me.

Thank you Jesus for your love, your hope, your joy
and thank you for starting this restoration like never before.
Only through your love, your grace, and your peace
have I changed beyond what I could imagine.

Please help me grasp it all.
All the blessings you want for me.
Give me the strength to achieve my new goals
and give me the wisdom to understand all
that I need to change in my new life.


This new life, new hopes, and new dreams
are here because I understand the cross so much more
and because of the vessels you brought in my path.
Thank you God for restoring my soul,
and getting me out of the pit of hell.

I could not have done it without your love
and the vessels you sent my way to help.
I no longer feel unloved, ashamed or pity
for you have rescued my soul.

Thank you for the cross,
for giving up yourself in an unworthy manner,
for being unselfish, for being God.

This is what it means to be free
to be totally forgiven
and truly loved.

Lord I get it now, I understand.
Thank you for my new life,
new concepts, and my new adventure.
Thank you for giving me a second chance.

(Thank you God for renewing me March 26, 2010)

LORD, I GIVE YOU MY VESSEL*

God, I am your willing vessel.
Do to me what you will.
I am a vessel in training;
Broken, chipped, yet willing to be molded
again and again.
Do to me what you will,
so that you may be glorified
over and over.

For it is for you,
why I breathe
why I face each morning
and each night.
For it is for you,
why I live,
why I work,
move or rest.

I give you my ALL.
My WHOLE vessel.
It may be small and a bit fragile,
but it's ALL I have;
I give it to you.
EVERY piece, EVERY inch.
My Vessel, I give to you.
LORD, I give you MY VESSEL.


May 15, 2008
11:23 p.m.