One Memorable Day

You would have laughed at my adventure. Last Saturday we were in the middle of a heatwave and it was already 102 degrees, at noon, where I live. My boyfriend and I took a trip up to the mountains where it would be cooler at 86 degrees. When I arrived, I immediately felt relaxed, and enjoyed breathing in the fresh air. The weather was so wonderful compared to the 114 degrees we felt a day earlier. We took out our cameras and took shots of the beautiful trees and relaxing lake. We were having a wonderful, peaceful time together.

We continued to take pictures of the lake as it started to drizzle and yet we were laughing at all the people who had left in a hurry because of the little drizzle. To us, it was so refreshing to be away from the heat and it felt so easier to breathe with the cool moisture in the air.

We walked back to our picnic area because I needed a drink of water from my water bottle which I left on the picnic table. Since we walked back we decided to eat lunch. We chatted and enjoyed each other's company in the breathtaking scenery yet our yummy picnic food was starting to get wet because it started to rain.Thankfully we were near a tree where we could wait under until the rain stopped.  We still chatted and enjoyed the fresh air and laughed at the situation and how only a few people were in sight. 

Then all of a sudden, my boyfriend looked toward the lake, and noticed that their was a storm. It was down pouring on the lake and would soon be coming toward us. I grabbed my camera and made sure it was protected yet quickly and gently placed in the camera bag. I kept it with me so it wouldn't get ruined. (This is the day I learned that my camera bag is water proof. Thank God for that!!!) 

Suddenly all of our items: various food, travel bag, etc... was soaked. I was going to put it all under the table but I noticed there were ants underneath and I didn't want to deal with that mess.  We had nowhere to go but be sheltered from the storm under the tree we were under. Thank God for the trees. I seriously thought of hunkering down and taking shelter underneath the picnic table but I did enjoy the atmosphere and the adventure I was having with my love. I just laughed at my bag of chips which I probably should have grabbed and put under the tree with me...It was soaked. Later I looked in my travel bag and the half roll of toilet paper I brought, in case there were not any in the bathrooms, was soaked, as well...So glad I didn't need it. lol 

I am grateful that I did have to get my water bottle before the storm hit. If I didn't need a drink of water, we would have been soaked on the path by the lake; and I would not have been able to protect my nice camera. There is quite a difference from being wet by the rain than being soaked by the storm. We stayed under that beautiful tree for about 20 minutes as the temperature dropped 20 degrees in about an hour to around 69 degrees. It was a bit cold since we were wet.  

When the rain let up we decided we better hurry to the car.  As we got to the parking lot, there were some little rivers due to the downpour and I noticed one poor guy who had just finished putting his boat in his truck. He was completely soaked. 

Like I said, we were not too wet, but just enough to make me shiver a little from the cooler rain. Well I was wearing shorts and not wearing a coat or sweater when I left my apartment because it was 102 degrees.When I sat in the car, I grabbed a blanket to wrap around me to keep me warm. It was a blanket that I had in a pillow case which was soaked yet somehow the blanket was only a little wet.. 

We were laughing at our hilarious adventure as we returned to our city which was now at 109 degrees. It was such a drastic difference from the coolness up in the mountains. I didn't bother to worry about the back seat in the car that was wet from the storm because anything can dry fast, in a 109 degrees.  

I am still laughing about the adventure we had. It was so much fun...It's an adventure I will always remember.  
This adventure does remind me, though, that God shelters us from the storm just like the tree did for my boyfriend and I.

There are Good Doctors

Kudos to my eye Dr today. As I signed in for my eye exam, the receptionist said that my benefits for my eye glasses won't be available until September (and today is only February).

Instead of wasting my money on my eye appointment, I canceled it and decided to come back in September. Well my ophthalmologist, who I have had for years, called my name. When I told him what happened, he knelt down beside me and asked if my eyes were ok.

He acknowledged that I have major eye problems and wanted to make sure that there weren't any new eye problems. (He knows of the floaters, the shadows, the optic atropy, and all the other eye problems I have, including that when I see things that it's like looking through a sheer curtain.  The doctors are baffled in this area and don't know how to fix it.  We discussed about how I had been tested by one of the best Kaiser eye specialists in southern California and they can't find anything wrong).

After we discussed that there's no cure for my eyes, he gave me a big smile and said that I was a special person. As I laughed, I told him that I know because that is what all my doctors say to me with all the great health issues I have.

This ophthalmologist made my day and I told him how grateful I was for taking the time to talk to me.  He could have just walked away when I canceled my appt, but he didn't. He truly showed me that he cared.

Thank you, God, for people who go out of their way, especially for people like me, who are "special." 

I have Survived Much.

Life can sure have distasteful adventures at times. The last four months have been one fast roller coaster ride I wanted to get off of.  In October of 2015, I ended up going to urgent care because part of my leg went paralyzed. Turns out it was from major anxiety due to some stressful family situation that I was not handling properly in my life. I had no idea that my body could actually become paralyzed due to stress. I knew that anxiety is also a symptom of fibromyalgia, but I never wanted to admit it...I have to use techniques to lower the anxiety.

 

Also, I ended up gaining weight and having all sorts of new health issues and symptoms, due to the lovely gifts that I was presented with, due to my age.  And that wonderful doctor said I have abnormal perimenopause. Wow. When I deal with new health issues, it seems to always be abnormal for some reason. Doctors have told me that it might be because I have Fibromyalgia.  I should know better; why would this be any different? I ended up having to replace all of my clothes because nothing fit anymore.  I have been fortunate all my life and never have had to deal with gaining weight until now.  It's all because of, oh, what's it called again? Oh yes, perimenopause. Oh and I never knew what a true hot flash felt like until recently. Wow what a new adventure I'm having.....but I'll spare you the details on that subject. I know this article may be long, but please read it to the end.

 

For a year, I had to spoon feed my precious fur baby Buttons because he was acting like he couldn't see the food that was in his bowl. Yet when I put the food up to his mouth he would devour it like he was starving. I rearranged my schedule to always spoon feed him and make sure I had a cat sitter, if I wasn't home.  I even had to put a bowl of water up to his face for him to drink more. I knew he was getting older and was a ripe old age of 96 years, which is 20 years in human years, so I had to keep an eye on him.

 

In November, I was scheduled with an exterminator to spray my apartment. Dealing with fibromyalgia and other health issues, I had to try to pace myself as it took me three days to pack everything up and put a sheet over it all.  After they sprayed the kitchen, I had to spend another three days to unpack everything and put it all away. It took me a few days to recuperate. That weekend, the gas company came to check the gas pilot on my heater. They said it was producing carbon monoxide so they shut it off and red tagged my heater. Then the apartment office personnel had to get an outside company to install a new heater. I thought everything was great until I kept smelling gas from the new heater. I called the gas company again. The gas man said that whomever installed the heater, put in the wrong gas valve. They put in one for the "propane tank" instead of a regular gas valve. He red tagged my heater again after shutting it off. This time the supervisor of the company came to replace the gas valve to the proper one to make sure it was done right. I wanted to make sure it was accurate so the gas company tech came a third time and approved it.

 

Then I noticed Buttons wasn't eating or drinking enough. I thought maybe it had to do with the exterminator or the gas leak, although I did take him out of my apartment for both incidents.  After a vet visit, I found out that he had chronic kidney disease, his kidneys and liver were shutting down, plus his bone marrow was suppressed, amongst other things. I ended up having to put him down because I didn't want him to suffer any more. That was very hard because I love him so much.  He was my fur baby and pet companion. He was the one that was near me when I was in intense pain and comforted me often. He left a paw print on my heart. (After he died, I wanted to give myself a chance to grieve before getting another pet companion even though a couple of my friends wanted to give me a cat. I was grieving lots and couldn't think of having another pet at the moment).

 

On December 2, there was a terrorist attack that was in a nearby city. I was supposed to go to two doctor appts that day, but fear gripped me so much that I didn't want to leave my place. I couldn't go near the horrendous incident, although, I did make myself go for a walk the next day. Three days later,  I was grieving from losing Buttons and had anxiety over the massive shooting, so I thought I should adopt a cat to help calm me down. I have always wanted to adopt a cat from the animal shelter. When I was there, this loving cat who I named Gracie kept purring when I held her. That's when Gracie, my new pet companion, entered my life. She helped ease the fear and anxiety I was having and gave me something to keep me busy.

 

I didn't realize it until later, but I was itching all over my body since I got Gracie. Turns out she was diagnosed with sarcoptic mange, intestinal parasites, respiratory infection, and more....plus ringworm later. So guess what?  What I thought were flea bites on me, were actually scabies that I got from the cat. Gracie had to be isolated and we both had to be treated, including my whole apartment. I had to put everything in plastic bags for a week to ten days. After going to the doctor due to 2 spots that didn't heal from the scabies, I found out I also had ringworm due to the cat.  What a mess!!

 

During that time, the bank contacted me due to a fraudulent charge so I had to get a new credit card and they put my account on hold for a week. Thankfully I already did my Christmas shopping. When I was getting over all of this, we ended up having a major gas leak in my apartment on the third floor. My adrenaline took over and I called the gas company and was instructed to have the third level residents evacuated. It was so thick and I have a sensitive system in my body that I had to get fresh air or I was going to pass out. I felt nauseated and lightheaded yet I got Gracie, my cat, to the first floor and then try to tell everyone on my floor to evacuate. It turned out to be one major gas leak in one of my friend's apartments. It's actually a miracle that she is alive.

 

I was trying to fight for Gracie's life that was full of health issues. I knew if we took her back to the animal shelter, she would be put down. I didn't want that to happen, yet I couldn't handle the 5 medications a day, at different times a day, and the cleaning up after her sickness, etc... plus all the care I had to encounter over my own chronic health issues.  It was too much for me to bear; and I was so worn out. I felt bad but I had to give her to someone who could take care of her with all her health issues. And yes, I made sure my friend knew all the health issues and medications that Gracie was on before she took her into her home.

 

I ended up getting treatment for ringworm, had to bleach my bathroom where Gracie was isolated, had to disinfect my whole apartment again, steam cleaned the carpets with tea tree oil to kill all mites and ringworm, and wash all dirty and clean clothes, linens, pillows, throw rugs, jackets, etc.. in tea tree oil. Thankfully a couple of friends helped me at the laundry mat or it would have been even a longer ordeal.

 

I finally have put all my belongings away, reorganized my place, and am getting my life back to normal. I probably have the cleanest, most disinfectant apartment there is.  I am no longer contagious...yay me. I have dealt with a lot but I keep telling myself it could have been worse. I have grown from these losses and crazy happenings in my life. It was not (and is not) easy going through all that I went through but I have had to keep leaning on God through the process. I also learned  that when I was disinfecting my place and washing all the loads of laundry, that it is just "stuff" and do I really need it all?  I ended up letting go of things. I had too much and sometimes it's time to just let things go. (Now I have that song in my head "Let it Go" from the animated  movie Frozen). 

 

I have done a lot of grieving lately. Not only did I have to say goodbye to Buttons, but I have known 12 people and a friend's animal have died in the past two years. I could only get myself to go to a few of the funerals/memorials because it was too much for me. The hardest was having to let my fur baby Buttons go. I still cry because he was very special to me. I have to picture, in my mind, those 12 people and two animals in Heaven. It's what gets me through it, besides God's strength....I am still looking forward to that big reunion in Heaven where I will see them all, face to face again. Boy, I can't wait to go to Heaven; it is going to be one big family reunion, for me. And for the near future, I'm looking forward to getting a pet companion..
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

God Used a Cricket to *Save My Life*

In December of 2014, I was having problems with feeling very weak and nauseated. I do deal with Fibromyalgia (Fibro) and a list of other health issues so feeling weak and nauseated is not new to me. Even Fibro sometimes feels like the flu. Yet this was weird because I couldn't get up off the floor of my lounge pad on that Monday.  Usually I can go about doing things a little at a time, but something was different this time.  I thought that it was just another health issue I have to endure so it didn't really bother me too much. On Tuesday,  I felt a little better but I could barely do my laundry. I just sat by the dryer and pulled out the clothes and threw them over my head to the table because I was too weak to get up. I didn't even fold all of them. I don't normally act like this.

On Wednesday, I saw a cricket in my kitchen. I don't like crickets because I have a hard time sleeping with the sounds they make of chirping or chiming in the middle of the night.  I tried to catch it with a cup I found nearby, yet it hopped to the back of the stove.  Grrr, I thought. I am never going to be able to get it. As it hopped behind the stove, I leaned toward the wall to see if I could see it.  All of a sudden I smelled gas coming from behind the stove.

I immediately called the gas company, and sure enough the gas repairman confirmed the gas leak coming through the regulator of my stove.  As he was fixing it, I looked around, behind, and under the stove to locate the cricket, but no luck. After the repairman left, I opened the windows and felt fresh air fill my lungs immediately. I even noticed that my cat Buttons was walking around more after I opened the windows.

The next day I saw the cricket hopping out of the kitchen. I ran to catch him because I didn't want him in my bedroom making those cricket sounds. Yet I felt sorry for him. Poor little guy; I didn't hear him make a peep the night before. He probably felt sick, too, due to the gas leak. It was because of him that I smelled the gas leak, so I decided to capture that little guy and bring him back to the good outdoors where he belonged.  I walked down the three flights of stairs, opened the door, and released him. I gave him a second chance as I got one too.

God sent that little cricket to save my life and also my cat's life. If I didn't see him hop near the back of the stove, I wouldn't have known I had a gas leak.  I have heard people say that animals (cats and dogs) have warned people when danger was close by. God must have a sense of humor, because he sent me a cricket.

ART is a Good Distraction*

Wow, I can't believe I haven't touched this blog since September of last year.  I have been working on artwork to keep my mind off of physical pain which is a good distraction, I might add. Yet I guess the fibro fog kicked in and I forgot about my blogging that I love to do.
I am a member of the local art gallery and try to keep myself motivated to have something brought in the gallery every 5 weeks.  There was a funny moment about my artwork, In November or December, I was feeling a little delirious and not well yet I didn't have anything new to put in the gallery. I felt very weak and wasn't in my right mind. I went through some old sketches I did in ink when I was around 13 years old and threw one in a frame. I put $25 on it and displayed it in the gallery.  It even had my assignment grade of a "B" on it and the class number....I didn't think anything of it until I got a call from the gallery saying that someone bought it...I thought "Yikes, I really didn't want to sell it because it was from when I was a kid." I did take a picture of it so I would have a copy of it but I had to reset my camera phone and it totally erased that picture amongst others. So that was bye bye picture.

EYE in the STORM

I did enter a piece "Eye in the Storm" in a photography art show. First, people were just passing my picture by, but then I started interacting with them to get them interested. It worked.  People were literally sitting on the floor trying to figure out what my picture was. It was too funny. This picture is actually of me holding a glass of water that the light of the sun made the water glisten. I thought it looked so cool, so I took a picture and put it on facebook (FB) and asked people what they thought it was.  That is when I started a game on FB called "Tanya's Picture Game," which I still do.

Pilgrimage to Zion

I also had worked on another painting "Pilgrimage to Zion" for about 4 months minus the one month I took off for Christmas. My apartment is too small to have an average size Christmas tree and work on a painting at the same time.  I finally finished it in February. It was so great to finish it, yet it was so hard to let it go when I gave it to the new owner. My paintings are kind of like my babies because I put so much time and energy into them. I also had someone ask me to restore an old photo. I have never done that before so that was fun and a new challenge.

Eucalyptus Trees

Every year for the art gallery they have a Multi Medium Mini (MMM) Art show in March. I have been disappointed each year because I haven't been accepted.  I started asking what the other artists are doing and I learned from their techniques and what equipment they use. I decided  that I really need to improve my artwork abilities and supplies. This year, being very nervous, yet I pushed through the rejection I felt in the past and entered the MMM art show, I was finally accepted into the MMM Art show this week, where the "Eucalyptus Trees" is displayed. It felt good yet I did feel bad for the ones who didn't make it in because I know how hard it is when one's work is not accepted.

I am so grateful to God that He has given me this talent that I have been working at wholeheartedly in my middle aged life. Yikes, Yes It's hard to say that I am middle aged, but it's the truth. I have been there for awhile but didn't like to admit it.  I focused on my writing abilities most of my life and took a few art classes in elementary and middle school but I didn't think I was any good, yet now to see my art abilities grow, is truly an amazing experience and I do thank God.

Here is my link to my art portfolio that I am working on continually: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1380021952284491.1073741829.100008300975340&type=1&l=07061a5251


artwork is by me, "Expressive Praise"

Today's Forecast: The *weather is a changing*

The weather is a changing.
What is brewing in my body?
some partly cloudy days
and rays of pain seem so naughty.

The weather is a changing.
I feel it in the air. 
The moisture stabs my skin
and it's a caution to beware.

The weather is a changing
My skin is crawling off its shell.
My muscles are wanting to scream
and my bones complain, "o well".

The weather is a changing
More sleepless nights to endure
because my hands and feet are burning.
My vision and dreams are such a a blurr.

The weather is a changing.
There's burning in my head to my feet;
neck, hands, and back;
nothing is lacking with this pain of heat.

The weather is a changing.
I have to deal with fibro fits.
All of my body is hurting, 
and even both of my arm pits.

The weather is a changing.
I have to keep my spirits up high 
because this fibro can throw you for a loop
and make you want to cry.

The weather is a changing.
Sometimes the rain is out and tears flow,
so I have to keep my umbrella handy
and hold it tight, so with the wind, I don't blow.

The weather is a changing.
Days like this, make me lean on God more
because the pain has increased;
and is intense even more than before.

The weather is a changing.
I know it's hard to comprehend,
yet I wanted you to know 
that through all of this, God does lend.

The weather is a changing.
He gives me strength to en-dure
and the people he sends me
helps me and lifts me up, for sure.




The weather is a changing.
It brought me closer to Him, that's true.

It made me lean on God so much more;

especially when I feel oh so blue.


The weather is a changing.
I guess, my character needed refreshing, no doubt.
My heart knew so much pain
and the weather changed my life's plan and route.


God thank you for the weather a changing.
I know that you know I deal with so much.
Please give me strength, give me peace,
and God, I thank you for your special touch.






Chronic Pain and Fibromyaligia awareness.
People with Fibromyalgia, Arthritis, and Chronic Pain Syndrome like I have tend to feel a lot of pain if the barometric pressure changes, the temperature changes, or if there is any moisture in the air. If there is any humidity of moisture in the air, it could be our worst enemy. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers, especially on those days. Thank you


Note: all pictures are by Expressive Praise

What Do you Smell?*

God, you made the beautiful fragrance of blossoming flowers that enhance my senses.

You created our sense of smell to enjoy even the different foods we prepare.

You flood our souls with peace like rivers and unconditional love that is oh so good.

You have even made the hint of rain producing some kind of scent.

You created our nose to behold the most beautiful aromas of this world.

You made even our senses to enhance life so much more.

Even the smell of meat barbecued, outdoors, makes our mouth water.

Lord, thank you for thinking of even small things like this to pleasure us.

But God, why?  Why did you create the skunk?

Don’t you know that the skunk stinks?

Remember, you created the skunk to spray and be smelled for miles?

It’s not a pleasant aroma that feels my nostrils.

           

And yes, I am grateful that I have a sense of smell. 

Thank you that you made our senses to enhance life so much more.

Thank you that I can smell, see, hear, taste and touch.

I think the skunk was made to remind us....

Actually I can’t think of anything good that it could remind me of,

Except that I still have my sense of smell. (lol)

One time my friend and I saw a skunk coming towards the building;

We jumped out of our seats so fast. God, I bet you even chuckled that night.

Not only do you have all your senses, you have the best one of all...the sense of humor.

8-20-2012

3:30 am

My Heavenly Father*, my Real Father*

Here is a vision God gave me this morning. I am about 8 yrs old, my hair is in curled locks. I have a layered fluffy yellow dress on that bounces when I run. I can even see white tights with white dress shoes on my feet. I see myself running to my heavenly father's arms. The whole time I am running, I am giggling, smiling, laughing and so excited to see my heavenly father Abba. As I am running to Him, I jump up and He catches me without hesitation. He holds me with one of those tight hugs that an unconditional loving father gives to the daughter He cherishes. He twirls me around and we laugh together. We love each other...  (I don't know what loneliness, hurt, sorrow, disapproval, scared to death of abuse, abandonment or fear are, because my heavenly father didn't given me them.) I only know safety, closeness, fatherly love, and being cherished...it feels sooooo good.

This is what God wanted me to see:

God has taken my past hurt of not having that loving earthly father in my life and He is rewriting my past for me. God is my father and He invented a new childhood memory for me to have the rest of my life for my past. I need to focus on what my Abba father has given me as a young child to a young adult; His unconditional love, him wanting to be my Abba, my Father.

It’s as though I could see the little girl (me) from my past, running into God's arms and God lovingly throws me up in the air and catches me to give me a huge hug. I feel safe; I feel loved; I feel so much comfort.

Now that I have seen this vision, I realize that the soul of this little girl in me needed a healthy, loving daddy in my past memory. I always yearned for a healthy bond from an earthly father/daddy... With this vision, God made a new memory for me and He did overwrite the hurt and the unfulfilled longing I so wanted all of my life for a father/daughter bond from my earthly father. I now have a "daddy" memory from my heavenly Father.


Now I am a mature woman of God, a mature Christian. Maybe God wanted me to see that I do not need a "daddy" anymore because that empty longing of a loving father is now fulfilled in God,  the Father himself. Right now, I need a "Dad" and God is completely taking that place and role right now. I need a Heavenly DAD in this time of my mature life.

Dear God, my Heavenly Father Dad,

May you always know how much I love and adore you. Thank you for being there when my earthly one was not the father he should have been all of my life. When I was an innocent young girl to a young adult, things happened that should not have happened to me, but for some selfish reason on my earthly father's part, they were. Thank you God for the friends, pastors, and counselors you brought into my life to help me overcome so many different kinds of pain... God, thank you for helping me during the process of  when I had to learn to forgive my father, and helping me understand that I do not have to spend time with someone so destructive to my emotional health and well being. I realize that the people I bring in close to me should be safe, loving, and emotionally healthy people. Father God, I adore you and am relieved that you are my Eternal Loving Father, my Dad. From my past to my future, you are always there. Thank you!!!

Happy Father's Day, Dad. I love you!
Love your lovable and cherished daughter,

This is so "Precious*

I have been doing a lot of changes in my life since March 26. Trying to get all the negative junk out of my mind and be a more positive person. Trying to focus on positive stuff and not all the negative ones that I tend to dwell on. I didn't say it was easy, but I am a work in progress. I have been learning about attracting positive things and thinking in positive ways about my now, my past, and my future. I have been learning that I may attract good things by being more positive and a lot more that I may have to blog another day. Well, all this positive stuff is making me more understanding and closer to God.

Well, today God told me today: "go outside I have a surprise for you." I first thought, nah just my imagination. Then I thought okay, I will after I clean my breakfast dishes and fill up a water bottle. But I just kept hearing God say "go outside now, I have a surprise for you. I was picturing myself by my tomato plant but I went to one of my plants outside and was pinching off the dead flowers to cause more growth. While I was doing that, I had this urge to go toward my tomato plant that was on the side of the house. I walked over there, looked to see if any new strawberries have grown and then I went to my tomato plant. I knelt down and was admiring how big my tomatoes were growing. I said thank you, they are bigger since I moved the plant to this area. I thought that was my surprise.

Then my roommate comes walking through the gate adjacent her car. I watched her as she was coming towards me. I then looked under her car and spotted a black ball, the size of a soccer ball. Yet as I was staring at that ball, I kept thinking that I never saw this color of a ball in our yard. My roommate asked what I was staring at; I just told her I think there's a black ball under your car. I kept staring at it because I was confused of the ball.

To my amazement, the ball moved out of the shadow and I saw this beautiful brown bunny with remarkable ears. I leaped with joy and told my roommate. She grabbed some carrots from the house and I lured him closer to me so that I may catch him. He let me hold him.

He is so soft, with brown fur, not to mention his beautiful crystal like brown eyes. He is very gentle, calm, and tamed. He is so precious.

My roommate thought he must belong to one of the neighbors, so she called some of them, yet no one claimed him and no one knew where he belonged. As I was trying to catch the bunny, I remembered what God said, "Go outside; I have a surprise for you."

It totally made my day. I named the bunny "Precious" because it was a special gift from God. and Yes, He did surprise me.
Thank you God!!!!

I Will Never Forget You,* Debbie Hodson*

I will never forget you, my dear friend, Debbie.
I am missing you; your friendship, your smiles, and your laughter.
I know you went to be in the arms of God, September 30, 2008. I couldn't even imagine living without you; and yet a full year has gone by.
I know that you would be so proud of me. I can hear you laughing and joking and being so excited of how God has worked in my life these last few months. I have had to do some growing up since you left.
You would have cried with me during some times this year, and yet been so excited with me with the blessings God has given me lately. I can hear you praising God at the fact that I am now working...and it's in the medical field.
Who knew that when I helped you study for your medical exam last year that I would need to know those medical terms now?

I will never forget the day you took me to get a procedure done.
The nurse wouldn't let me go home because every time I looked at you, my pulse would go up. We laughed hard and were trying to keep quiet; the other patients were sleeping in the hospital room. You told me to not look at you, but that just made me laugh even more and then my pulse would rise again.
Then there was that time you took me to the doctors and cheered me on as I had to drink 3 of those chalky drinks. Yuck. We tried working on a Bible Crossword puzzle that was so difficult.When I was done with my appointment, I was impressed that you finished most of the crossword. You then laughed and said that you got most of them from the answers in the back of the book.

I will never forget the times we would go to the health store. You would get your yogurt and I would get mine with soy.
I would buy us those special homemade, healthy vegan cookies and then we would drive to the nearby park and talk as we enjoyed the healthy snacks. We even had many conversations over the phone. We would talk and pray for each other. You gave me great advice and I tried to give you some too.

I will never forget how concerned you were for your family
and how much you loved and cared for them.
Even the times you left the house for long periods of time, you asked me to check in on Corrinne to make sure she was okay. And I did several times.
I remember going to Mark's 5th or 6th grade graduation; you were so proud of him; and I enjoyed watching him present a rose to you that day. I remember when the cancer came back; Matt would enroll in College in Washington.
He was going to wait, but you told him to go ahead and attend.
You cared about him so much, and wanted what was best for him and his future.
I remember going to Melody's outdoor wedding and how cold it was.
It was so nice to see you smile so proudly for Melody and Josh.

I will never forget when we celebrated Corrinne's 80th birthday.
Rob allowed me to use his new video camera. I was having fun recording everyone with my not-so-steady hand.
I even quietly taped you getting the birthday cake ready and then you looked up and squealed. I remember when Rob would give me some rocks that he said had fake gold in them. I would humor him and take them; you just quietly smiled and shook your head.

I will never forget our last Christmas together.
You bought me some polka-dotted, thermal pj's because you knew how cold I get in the winter. You said that anyone who gets up in the middle of the night to pray for people needs to be warm. I told you they remind me of Baskin Robins, which has cold ice cream. brrr
As you gave me that present, you told me you had cookies for me also.
Because I wasn't at church the day you brought them for me, you didn't want them to go bad, so you ate them. We laughed together when you told me about that. You always had a way of cracking me up; also I think one year, you ate my Easter bunny you had for me too because I wasn’t at church. You didn’t want it to go bad either. Now I realize you had a thing for sweets.

I will never forget how four or us celebrated our birthdays together last year.
Jennifer, Penny, you, and I went to Famous Dave’s and had our dinner delivered to us in a trash can lid.
We all laughed, took pictures, ate lots, and enjoyed each other’s company.
We asked the waitress to take our picture together and I didn’t realize that it would be our last picture with you.

I will never forget the first day you were in the hospital
in September of last year.
We bonked heads as you tilted your head to lean on my head;
you told me how to keep on living for God no matter what happens to you.
You told me to be strong and everything would be okay.
You told me you would probably die soon but I wouldn't accept it, until now.

I will never forget how Penny and I were praying for you
and you apologized as you kept falling asleep on that day you were admitted to the hospital. I told you not to worry about it; we will just pray for you.
I remember how Rob would sneak me in your hospital room so that I could see you.
Almost every time I saw you, when you were awake, you would lean your head next to mine.You would smile no matter what state you were in, in that last month of your life here on earth.
One day as I was talking with you, I didn’t realize that you couldn’t see anymore.
You asked Rob, if I was the one with the beautiful brown hair. You would always talk about my hair and how you loved it and didn’t think it was fare that I had healthy hair with all the medications I am on.
I told you I would shave my hair to make you feel more at ease about your hair falling out.
You told me to not do that; you wanted everything to look normal, so I thankfully said okay.

I will never forget your last night here on earth.
Irene, Liz, and I came to your hospital room and quietly prayed with you.
You were sleeping but I knew your spirit heard us.
I noticed your breathing was different and I called the nurse.
As we waited, Irene quietly sang a song to you; I felt someone pass by me, but no one was behind me. Then Liz saw a vision of you joyfully going to heaven, and we realized later that, at that time, that is when you had entered heaven. I had a hard time that night and the months to follow.
The nurse let us say goodbye to you. When I hugged you, I noticed it was different; it wasn’t you anymore. Your spirit had gone to heaven; your physical body had died. You were no longer there.
I called our pastor and he came that night to the hospital to console us.
Liz, Irene, and I left the hospital teary-eyed, yet praising God for we knew exactly where you were. We knew that we felt God’s spirit and presence that night. God made it a special night for us.

You are still with our Heavenly Father, who we live for and will someday be able to see His face like you do right now. I am grateful you are in Heaven, in a better place without sickness or pain. I thank God that He allowed me to spend those years with you on this earth and I will take what you taught me and teach others.
I will never forget you, my dear friend Debbie.
Love you sista
I am so glad God brought you into my life.

hello*

hello. I just wanted to say God loves you...

A Date With God*

I do have to give PRAISE TO GOD. HE IS MY ALL and ALL. He is my ROCK, STRENGTH, and FORTRESS. He is the ONE I try to turn to when I need help, a shoulder to cry on, etc... He is my TRUE LOVE. I have had people ask me how can he be my true love.

Well, I give my attention, love, and dedication to God. I try to spend time with him, communicate to Him, and even read up on Him so that I may learn more of him.
I enjoy reading on: how my relationship with him may draw me even closer to Him or what can I do to please Him, or how can I become a better Christian, friend, person on this earth, etc...

Because I am not married, I find it easier to spend time with God. I am not distracted by taking care of others or making sure a husband or children are fed, bathed, or clothed. Yes, there may come a time when I may have that kind of a life, but for now, I cherish these special moments with God.

There are times that I prepare a candle-light dinner for me and God. (no, I don't feed God... LOL, but I acknowledge his presence). I light a candle and turn out all the lights. While I eat, I think or tell God how much I love him and adore him. I tell him how much I appreciate him and I just ponder of him, of his love, of how he has always been there for me. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH... 
It's my special "date" with God. 

How Cute from my Neice!*

My 13 yr old niece said the cutest thing to me today as I was doing my devotional.
She asked me, "If God asked you to marry him, would you? I told her, well he really wouldn't ask me that. Then she said that she knew that he wouldn't ask that question; but continued with "Well, what if he did ask you. Would you marry Him?" I said yes. Then she said "I thought so because He's your kind of man."


Her words were so precious to me.

God's Peace*

Wow!!! These last two weeks God has really shown Himself to me. It is so awesome to see the great things He has done. He has also shown me to fully trust in Him when things look doubtful and confusing. God has given me peace, faith, joy, and assurance that I can't put into words. I guess you could say that I am in Awe of Him. 

Lately, God has proven to me that when He puts something on my heart, to totally trust Him and believe (with every ounce in me) that HIS WILL- will happen and to do what He asks no matter what. Sometimes it is a lot of hard work, because our flesh and mind want to worry, and look at all the statistics, but God is showing me that those things do not matter if we seek His WILL and FACE.

I encourage you to trust in God for the impossible. In the last 2 1/2 weeks, I have seen one miracle happen in my life, and I believe that one miracle that's in the process of happening right now as I write this. So Yes, I need to keep trusting in God. I am so grateful. Thank you God for blessing me and thank you God for blessing my church. PRAISE GOD!!!

What a Beautiful Day!!!*

Today, I slept in, because I felt like it and because I took a muscle relaxer yesterday so I had no choice...LOL... Then I went outside to do some tasks that I had been putting off; it was such a gorgeous day...I couldn't get enough of it...So I went out in my patio and just closed my eyes and let the wind dress my hair. 

I felt God's love so strong as I repeatedly took a deep breath of fresh air, and then exhaled while enjoying the warmth against my face. It was one of those days that I dream about.

Thank you God for this moment, this beautiful, silent moment that I needed; where the sun wasn't beating against the day, the earth was silent, and everything seemed so pure and peaceful...

My Friends, Thank you*

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who have supported me by encouraging phone calls, hanging out, a big smile, known or silent prayers, emails, or even just a pat on the back ... I really appreciate it. Life is just a little more easier when you have good friends and family.
There are times that I do have my physical bad days, and thankfully lately I have been having good days. Maybe it's because I know have a tangible hope about my health insurance miracle I had last week regarding my jaw. I have an appt next month with a great jaw specialist and I am so grateful.
I have been in awe of God and the whole situation that lately I have actually been speechless. Which, in itself, is a miracle. LOL. Just this last 9 days, I have seen over six answers to my prayers lately. Those prayers weren't for me, but some friends I have. I can honestly say that I have had some really good "GOD" times this year... I look forward to a brighter future...
Thanks again and God bless ya

Miracles Still Happen*

Miracles still happen!!! It looked impossible!!

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I have had my share of jaw and other chronic health problems and pain. I have been to many doctors and specialists. I believe I have been seen by 6 jaw, maxillofacial doctors in the last several years. I have had my jaw manually moved through the help of splints and braces, have had trigger point injections, ultrasounds, steroid shots, electricity shot in my jaw, physical therapy and this is just to name a few. So yes, I know most of the maxillofacial doctors in the areas within two hours from where I live within my insurance company.

Several things I realized is that my jaw hasn't been getting better and some of it has to do with traveling. After I travel to another city, get my 15 minutes to an hour of jaw treatment, then I would travel back home. By the time I arrived home, I was in more pain than when I started.

After much prayer from all of my friends and family, I called my insurance company and they immediately had a case manager go before the insurance company on my behalf. They approved for me to go to one of the best Maxillofacial specialist, closer to home, and it is not one of the insurance company's doctors. She said that the insurance co. agreed to pay all of the costs, out of pocket, and that they will totally eat the cost. She said that this normally doesn't happen. She sounded shocked too. I told her I had a lot of people praying for me. She continually said, "something happened, because they don't normally approve this especially for a maxillofacial specialist."

I was and still am excited. Thankyou God...I know the treatments may be painful, but I thank you in advance for this "Insurance" Miracle. It is totally a God thing!!!