First half of 2020 written in a hilarious way (not by me)

You can read my notes afterwards. I just found this post funny and it basically sums up what we went through in the first 6 months of 2020.

Here it goes: 

I did not write this. I borrowed it from somebody who borrowed from  somebody else’s Facebook page who also didn’t write this. I am posting it so that in 5-10 years, I can read it in my FB memories Edition,

In January, Australia caught on fire. I don’t even know if that fire was put out, because we straight up almost went to war with Iran. We might actually still be almost at war with them. I don’t know, because Jen Aniston and Brad Pitt spoke to one another at an awards show and  everyone flipped out, but then there was things happening in China, then Prince Harry and Megan peaced out of the Royal family, and there was the whole impeachment trial, and then corona virus showed up in the US “officially,” but then Kobe died and UK peaced out of the  European Union.

In February, Iowa crapped itself with the caucus results and the president was acquitted and the Speaker of the House  took ten years to rip up a speech, but then WHO decided to give this virus a name COVID-19, which confused some really important people in  charge of, like, our lives, into thinking there were 18 other versions before it, but then Harvey Weinstein was found guilty, and Americans started asking if Corona beer was safe to drink, and everyone on  Facebook became a doctor who just knew the flu like killed way more people than COVID 1 through 18.

In March, (poop) hit the fan.  Warren dropped out of the presidential race and Sanders was like Bernie or bust, but then Italy shut its whole (place) down, and then COVID Not 1 through 18 officially become what everyone already realized, a pandemic and then a nationwide state of emergency was declared in US, but it  didn’t really change anything, so everyone was confused or thought it was still just a flu, but then COVID Not 18 was like ya’ll not taking me seriously? I’m gonna infect the one celebrity everyone loves and  totally infected Tom Hanks, but then the DOW took a (poop) on itself, and most of us still don’t understand why the stock market is so important or even a thing (I still don’t), but then we were all introduced to Tiger King. (Carol totally killed her husband), and Netflix was like  you’re welcome, and we all realized there was no way we were washing our hands enough in the first place because all of our hands are now dry and gross.

In April, Bernie finally busted himself out of the presidential race, but then NYC became the set of The Walking Dead and  we learned that no one has face masks, ventilators, or toilet paper, or THE  (xxx) SWIFFER WET JET LIQUID, but then Kim Jong-Un died, but then he came back to life… or did he? Who knows, because then the Pentagon released videos of UFOs and nobody cared, and we were like man, it’s only April….

In May, the biblical end times kicked off historical locust swarms (in Africa) and then we learned of murder hornets and realized that 2020 was the start of the Hunger Games but people forgot to let us know, but then people legit protested lockdown measures with AR-15s, and then sports events were cancelled everywhere. But then people all over  America finally reached a breaking point with race issues and violence.  There were protests in every city, but then people forgot about the pandemic called COVID Not One Through 18. Media struggled with how to focus on two important things at once, but then people in general struggle to focus on more than one important thing, and a dead whale was found in the middle of the Amazon rain forest after monkeys stole COVID 1 Through 19 from a lab and ran off with them, and either in May or April (no one is keeping track of time now) that a giant asteroid narrowly missed Earth.

In June, science and common sense just got thrown straight out the window and somehow wearing masks became a  political thing, but then a whole lot of people realized the south was actually the most unpatriotic thing ever and actually lost the civil war, and there are a large amount of people who feel that statues they don’t even know the name of are needed for … history reasons..... but  then everyone sort of remembered there was a pandemic, but then decided that not wearing a mask was somehow a God given right (still haven't found that part in the bible or even in the constitution), but then scientists announced they found a mysterious undiscovered mass at the  center of the earth, and everyone was like DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH IT, but then everyone took a pause to realize that people actually believed Gone With The Wind was like non-fiction, but then it was also announced that there is a strange radio signal coming from somewhere in the universe that repeats itself every so many days, and everyone was like DON’T YOU DARE ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE WITH IT, but then America reopened from the shut down that actually wasn’t even a shut down, and so far, things have gone spectacularly not that great, but everyone is on Facebook arguing that masks kill because no one knows how breathing works, but then Florida was like hold my beer and let me show you how we’re number one in all things, including new Not Corona Beer Corona Virus. Trump decides now is a good time to ask the Supreme Court to shut down Obama Care because what better time to do so than in the middle of a pandemic, but then we learned there was a massive dust cloud coming straight at us from the Sahara Desert, which is totally normal, but this is 2020, so the ghost mummy thing is most likely in that dust cloud, but then I  learned of meth-gators, and I'm like that is so not on my (xxx) 2020 Bingo card, but then we learned that the Congo's worse ever Ebola outbreak is over, and we were all like, there was an Ebola outbreak that was the worse ever?

In July…. Aliens? Zeus? Asteroids? Artificial Intelligence becomes self aware?

Thanks to whoever started this for the copy and paste.  I have no idea who wrote this; and (xxx), I want to know.  Also, why didn't I know about the whale in the Amazon?

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Note: I didn't write it but I saw it on Facebook. Even though I think it is hilarious, I do believe that covid19 is real, and it's so sad that people have died. Plus I believe that we should wear face masks. I don't like being quarantined but I respect the government's decision and abide by it when they say it's needed for covid19.

I think Black lives do Matter, but I don't believe in destroying property. I don't feel like explaining everything but you'll understand when reading it. I did take out the foul language.

One Memorable Day

You would have laughed at my adventure. Last Saturday we were in the middle of a heatwave and it was already 102 degrees, at noon, where I live. My boyfriend and I took a trip up to the mountains where it would be cooler at 86 degrees. When I arrived, I immediately felt relaxed, and enjoyed breathing in the fresh air. The weather was so wonderful compared to the 114 degrees we felt a day earlier. We took out our cameras and took shots of the beautiful trees and relaxing lake. We were having a wonderful, peaceful time together.

We continued to take pictures of the lake as it started to drizzle and yet we were laughing at all the people who had left in a hurry because of the little drizzle. To us, it was so refreshing to be away from the heat and it felt so easier to breathe with the cool moisture in the air.

We walked back to our picnic area because I needed a drink of water from my water bottle which I left on the picnic table. Since we walked back we decided to eat lunch. We chatted and enjoyed each other's company in the breathtaking scenery yet our yummy picnic food was starting to get wet because it started to rain.Thankfully we were near a tree where we could wait under until the rain stopped.  We still chatted and enjoyed the fresh air and laughed at the situation and how only a few people were in sight. 

Then all of a sudden, my boyfriend looked toward the lake, and noticed that their was a storm. It was down pouring on the lake and would soon be coming toward us. I grabbed my camera and made sure it was protected yet quickly and gently placed in the camera bag. I kept it with me so it wouldn't get ruined. (This is the day I learned that my camera bag is water proof. Thank God for that!!!) 

Suddenly all of our items: various food, travel bag, etc... was soaked. I was going to put it all under the table but I noticed there were ants underneath and I didn't want to deal with that mess.  We had nowhere to go but be sheltered from the storm under the tree we were under. Thank God for the trees. I seriously thought of hunkering down and taking shelter underneath the picnic table but I did enjoy the atmosphere and the adventure I was having with my love. I just laughed at my bag of chips which I probably should have grabbed and put under the tree with me...It was soaked. Later I looked in my travel bag and the half roll of toilet paper I brought, in case there were not any in the bathrooms, was soaked, as well...So glad I didn't need it. lol 

I am grateful that I did have to get my water bottle before the storm hit. If I didn't need a drink of water, we would have been soaked on the path by the lake; and I would not have been able to protect my nice camera. There is quite a difference from being wet by the rain than being soaked by the storm. We stayed under that beautiful tree for about 20 minutes as the temperature dropped 20 degrees in about an hour to around 69 degrees. It was a bit cold since we were wet.  

When the rain let up we decided we better hurry to the car.  As we got to the parking lot, there were some little rivers due to the downpour and I noticed one poor guy who had just finished putting his boat in his truck. He was completely soaked. 

Like I said, we were not too wet, but just enough to make me shiver a little from the cooler rain. Well I was wearing shorts and not wearing a coat or sweater when I left my apartment because it was 102 degrees.When I sat in the car, I grabbed a blanket to wrap around me to keep me warm. It was a blanket that I had in a pillow case which was soaked yet somehow the blanket was only a little wet.. 

We were laughing at our hilarious adventure as we returned to our city which was now at 109 degrees. It was such a drastic difference from the coolness up in the mountains. I didn't bother to worry about the back seat in the car that was wet from the storm because anything can dry fast, in a 109 degrees.  

I am still laughing about the adventure we had. It was so much fun...It's an adventure I will always remember.  
This adventure does remind me, though, that God shelters us from the storm just like the tree did for my boyfriend and I.

What was I Doing?

I seem to be doing things like this more often.  I start one task, and while I'm doing that task, I start another task, then another task, and eventually I forget what I first started.

.

The other day, I put two of my plants on my kitchen table to add plant food to them. I measured the right amount and added them to these plants. Okay two down, and 5 more to go...

.
I then noticed that dry leaves were on the carpet, so I grabbed the vacuum cleaner and pulled out the glass plant table and vacuumed the leaves. I put the vacuum cleaner to the side...

.

I look up and there is a cobweb on the ceiling over the plant table. I grab the broom from my kitchen and take down the cobwebs that are in the living room. I put the broom aside...

.

I glance down and I see that the indoor windowsill is dusty, so I clean that up...

.

I view behind the TV console that is adjacent the plant table stand, and it has a few dead leaves and dust behind it, too. I get the pledge out to clean that up.  I put the broom aside...

.

I then observe the mess that I just created. I have 2 plants on the kitchen table, a vacuum nearby, the broom is propped up against the recliner, the dust rags and pledge is on the floor, and the plant stand full of other plants is not in it's regular spot...Wait, what was I doing? Oh yeah, I need to finish putting the plant food in all the plants... What a mess. 

I know I have had some issues with forgetfulness because of a head injury 20 years ago and the past 15 years I have had brain fog due to fibromyalgia, also known as fibro fog. My forgetfulness seems to be getting worse, unless it's because I am getting older. Wow, can't wait to see how I am in ten more years

Brain Fog vs Chronic illness*

You may have Fibromyalgia or other chronic illness if:

You went into a room, and can't remember why you were in there.

You show up to your appointment, and find out you are there on the wrong day.

You know more than the doctors do.

You bring a 5 foot long list of all your symptoms to your doctor's visit.

You eat a bowl of cereal because you are too tired to cook.

You feed your cat (or other pet) and you are too tired to feed yourself, so you sit down on the recliner to restore your energy.

You do your laundry, and then you have to relax the rest of the day because of exhaustion.

You are thrilled to go grocery shopping because that means you got out of the house.

You can identify with seniors and their aches and pains.

You complain more about your aches and pains than the seniors do.

You pick one major thing to do in a day like doing laundry, shopping or exercising. (If you do two of them, you should be proud of yourself yet you may be about to collapse so hang on tight. If you do all three, there's a flareup coming soon.)

You do your laundry, you discover that you have only worn pajamas and comfy clothes all week.

You can't talk in complete sentences half the time.

You struggle to remember what you were talking about.

You totally get distracted.

You wake up in the morning, crawl to the recliner, and take a nap.

You eat breakfast and then take a nap.

You drive and get lost in your neighborhood.

You shop to find the comfiest clothes and pajamas.

You wear comfy shoes or slip-ons.  

You go out and do something fun, then your body is inflamed for 3 days.

You ask a person a question, then a few moments later, you have to ask them again because you forgot what they answered.

You go grocery shopping, and then you are too tired to cook, or eat afterwards.

You think curling up on the couch and watching TV is an exciting evening.

Hugs to all of you who can identify with what I wrote above. Remember You are not alone.

CRAZY Circle of Events *

The other day I was trying to get more sunlight for my cat and I so I decided to move a tray table that I use for my plants because it was blocking the sunlight spots in my living room; well I accidentally tilted the tray table, which made the plant fall to the ground, which made the soil fall on my carpet, which made me have to re-pot that plant, which made me re-pot 2 other plants, which made me get the vacuum out to clean up the dirt, which made me notice the dusty inside window sill that was near the fallen plants which I then decided to vacuum, which made me notice the other dusty living room window sill, which made me vacuum that one, which made me think since the vacuum is out, I need to vacuum my apartment.

And all I was trying to do was get more sun on my aching body. 

I learned from my cat, that when I can't get out of the house, I lay in the sunlight because it feels good on my body. He does it all the time, I didn't understand it until I tried it out...lol... it feels good.

The 12 days of Appointments*

The 12 days of Appointments, My Doctor Gave to Me...*

On the first day of appointments, my doctor gave to me:
an X-ray and a Cat-Scan

On the 2nd day of appointments, my doctor gave to me:
2 referrals, and an X-ray and a Cat-Scan

On the 3rd day of appointments, my doctor gave to me:
3 lab tests, 2 referrals, and an X-ray and a Cat-Scan

On the 4th day of appointments, my doctor gave to me:
4 injections, 3 lab tests, 2 referrals, and an X-ray and a Cat-Scan

On the 5th day of appointments, my doctor gave to me:
5 tons of meds, 4 injections, 3 lab tests, 2 referrals, and an X-ray and a Cat-Scan

On the 6th day of appointments, my doctor gave to me:
6  P.T. stretches, 5 tons of meds, 4 injections, 3 lab tests, 2 referrals, and an X-ray and a Cat-Scan

On the 7th day of appointments, my doctor gave to me:
7 counselors a-counseling, 6 homework stretches, 5 tons of meds, 4 injections, 3 lab tests, 2 referrals, and an X-ray and a Cat-Scan

On the 8th day of appointments, my doctor gave to me:
8 exercises, 7 counselors a-counseling, 6 homework stretches, 5 tons of meds, 4 injections, 3 lab tests, 2 referrals, and an X-ray and a Cat-Scan

On the 9th day of appointments, my doctor gave to me:
9 medications, 8 exercises, 7 counselors a-counseling, 6 homework stretches, 5 tons of meds, 4 injections, 3 lab tests, 2 referrals, and an X-ray and a Cat-Scan

On the 10th day of appointments, my doctor gave to me:
10 more procedures, 9 medications, 8 exercises, 7 counselors a-counseling, 6 homework stretches, 5 tons of meds, 4 injections, 3 lab tests, 2 referrals, and an X-ray and a Cat-Scan

On the 11th day of appointments, my doctor gave to me:
11 doctors doctoring, 10 more procedures, 9 medications, 8 exercises, 7 counselors a-counseling, 6 homework stretches, 5 tons of meds, 4 injections, 3 lab tests, 2 referrals, and an X-ray and a Cat-Scan

On the 12th day of appointments, my doctor gave to me:
12 more appointments, 11 doctors doctoring, 10 more procedures, 9 medications, 8 exercises, 7 counselors a-counseling, 6 homework stretches, 5 tons of meds, 4 injections, 3 lab tests, 2 referrals, and an X-ray and a Cat-Scan.


Whew...That's a lot, but it you are like me, there is more medical stuff that I didn't list...Wow, how do we deal with this all?
Take this time to ponder how you came this far with all that you go through....and remember the true meaning of Christmas.





(photo is from: http://i1087.photobucket.com/albums/j474/William_Moxon/Hospital.png)

Sometimes You Have to Be *Humorous*

I started a pain management class at a Health Facility this week. I don't know what came over me but when I saw a skeleton hanging on a stand, my silliness came over me. I think it happened when I saw a bucket full of funny shaped popcorn. A lady brought 24 clear gloves stuffed with sweet popcorn and tied the ends of them.

Before the three doctors came in to teach the 2 classes I was in, I decided to dress the skeleton... I grabbed 2 gloved popcorn bundles. They looked like hands, so I tied them to the skeleton's hand bones....then I found some pillow cases and cloths in the back of the room. I just draped them over the skeleton because she just looked cold and I added one to give her a skirt. I put a Breast cancer Magnet under her ribcage. The magnet was given to me when I walked in the building.  She needed Hair, so I just draped a rag over her head. Now that I am looking at the picture, I realize I didn't give her a shirt. lol

I did this all before the teachers came in...The students, who were waiting for the class to start, were laughing and said they wouldn't say who did it....The lady who brought the popcorn thought they would blame her.  

The funny thing was, while I dressed the skeleton, it kept falling over because the metal stand that was holding it up, was missing a piece. The more the students laughed, the more the skeleton kept falling. I finally got it propped up just right...then two of the teachers walked in. I quickly sat down.

The teachers didn't even notice it....until.....one teacher, 20 minutes later, had to use it for his lecture...I had no idea he was going to use it. He laughed, and everyone did, as he displayed the dressed skeleton on top of a table. That skeleton was taller me. I just giggled but then I was so afraid it was going to fall.  A lady was going to take a picture of it, so I walked up to fix the skirt that fell.  I noticed that it was stuck underneath the wheels.  I then stopped and realized if I touch the cloth, the whole thing will go down.  Everyone was laughing. It was too too funny.

In the 2nd class, on the same day, another doctor came to teach about physical therapy.  The doctor didn't notice it either until he, too, used it for the lecture.  He laughed as he took part of the clothes off to show us how we need to hold our back, neck, etc... in the right position. Then he laughs and pulls out the big refrigerator magnet that I put behind the chest. He says, "oh, I guess he's supporting breast cancer."  And then everyone just roared in laughter....He didn't notice the popcorn hands yet.  About 5 minutes later, the doc went toward the the skeleton to talk about shoulder blades, and collar bones.  As he lifted the arm up, a popcorn hand hit him in the leg...He laughed...I heard someone say, "that was perfect timing."

I so enjoyed the laughter....and so did the whole class.
I am so glad I was able to make over 20 people, who deal with chronic pain, and 3 professional doctors laugh ..... It was so much fun. Thank You God, that I can find ways to laugh, giggle, and have humor through all this physical pain.

A Silly Song about Sleep*

I just want some sleep

nothing too much
just some great deep sleep.

da da da. dunt


All I want is sleep.
The kind that you say:
"shh, be quiet...I'm asleep."

da da da. dunt

All I want is good sleep,
that's not fare,
that guy gets it, and he's such a creep.


da da da. dunt


May I have sleep?
Do I have to buy it
and does it come with a jeep?


da da da. dunt


Oh yeah, I need sleep
If you reap what you sow,
do you sow what you reap?

da da da. dunt

Me, oh my I need sleep.
Does it come in a container
or a bottle that's steep?

da da da. dunt


Oh yes, I need sleep.
When I catch it,
May I have it for keeps?

da da da. dunt

Going crazy because I need sleep.
When I get some rest
I am gonna jump up and leap.


da da da. dunt

oooooh yeaahhh, I need sleep
it's got to come sometime
or I am going to weep.

(lol)

I didn't know so many words rhyme with sleep. lol


(picture is of Buttons about to go to Sleep by Tk (Expressive Praise)

Silly Me*

I'm laying on the couch
I look toward the window.
The blinds are open to look out
and a tree is waving at me.
It's shaking it's leaves in the wind
and making me want to grin
because it's waving at me.

I'm laying on the couch.
My cat is sitting on the floor.
I pat the cushion for him to come
and he walks slowly to my side.
I reach my hand for him to touch
and he greets me with a little purr
because he's purring for me.

I'm laying on the couch.
The blankets around me are so soft.
One beneath me so inviting
and the one above me is delighting.
I cradle it in my arms
and feel cozy and charmed
because it's comforting me.

I'm laying on the couch.
I have only slept but a blink
yet all my thoughts are poems.
Am I delirious and awake?
Who cares? It's just me.
It's just God, my cat and I
because I am silly, you see.

As I'm laying on the couch,
I hope you read this poem.
I hope it catches your eye
and make you want to laugh
or make you want to smile.
But if you don't enjoy it, who cares?
Because it's silly being me.



(poem written on 4/3/13)

Do you ever wonder why?*

Why do bus drivers wear seat belts and no one else in the bus does?

Why do Internet users have to pay to block porn? and why is porn free? Shouldn't it be the other way around? 

Why did the CA zoo pay millions of dollars on an elephant exhibit upgrade when there is a financial crisis and the money could have been spent else where, like on humans?

Why do athletes or movies stars get paid millions of dollars while a teacher seems underpaid?

Why does it cost so much money to deliver a baby yet to get an abortion is inexpensive?

Why do parents get notified before giving shots or birth control to a teenager, but keep it a secret when an abortion is involved?

Why do some people have "dry eye" yet they can produce so many tears (when crying)?

Why do you have to "press '1' now for English" when listening to an automated message when calling a company.  We live in the USA, shouldn't it just stay on English, and if you want another language "press 1 now."

Why is their braille on the bank's drive up window?

Why is their braille on the bathroom door? A blind person still has to search the door to find the braille, and it's not always easy to find?

Who was the first person that invented kitty litter? Was the first domestic cat's potty found in some dusty, sandy pile of tiny rocks?

Why do cans of beverages have serving sizes? Everyone knows that one person will drink the whole can.  Why don't they just say like it is, that the whole can contains 46 oz of sugar instead of 23 oz of sugar yet it is 2 servings. Just say it is one serving of 46 oz of sugar.


Why do we have middle names? Is it only to be used for when we get in trouble as a child?

There are so many "whys" in the world. What have you thought about before? Write your question in  the comment section.

Does This Ever Happen to You?*

On Tuesday, I started oil painting a dove while I had the windows opened to circulate the air so I don't intake too many paint or paint cleaner fumes. One of my neighbors wanted me to paint a picture of a dove to represent the Holy Spirit. I thought that was an awesome idea, plus it helped that she's paying me to paint it. Even though I was praising God and praying over this art canvas, I spent too many hours in one day painting. As I finished for the day, I am just exhausted. But for some reason, I picked up a mirror I have in my "art studio" and tried to move it. I say my "art studio" because I have a spot in my living room that I decided is my place to do my artwork and I named it "Expressive Praise" (formerly known as Teensy's Art) Studio. The mirror hit a picture on the wall. The picture fell and collided with my head. So now I think, I definitely have to go to the chiropractor on Wednesday. I was hoping to sleep in on Wednesday, but I had to go to my chiropractor afterall. Luckily I did, because my neck was out of whack and totally had to be readjusted. No problem, this was nothing compared to all the other stuff that's hit me in the head; like the 20 lb box that fell on my head in 1995. For all you new friends of mine, I won't tell you what was inside. lol

On Wednesday, I was standing near the bench waiting for the bus. I purposely did not sit on the bench because there was a puddle on the bench due to the sprinklers. When I saw the bus, I grabbed my bag and walked up the stairs. As I sat down, I noticed I had water dripping down my leg. I knew I already used the bathroom, and I know I don't have a problem with that anyway. lol.  Then I sat down. I wiped the outside of my waterproof grocery bag. A puddle of water is now on the seat and one on the floor. I thought, I must have had my bag on the bench. Then I look in the bag and notice my water bottle's lid was not completely tightened. Oh well, I think. Then I go on my merry day, yet I am kind of embarrassed because it kind of looks like I couldn't wait to go to the bathroom. Oh well, it will dry, I think.

Wednesday night, I have to heat up a hot pack for my achy muscles. So I throw it in the microwave. I timed it for 1 minute...so I thought. I am talking on the phone in my bedroom, and I thought that I am smelling cigarette smoke. But I never smelled it that strong in my apartment before. (I don't smoke, but my neighbor's do). Then it's getting stronger. Than something smells like it's burning. I go to the kitchen that is filled with smoke, turn off the microwave and take out the heating pack. All the rice is charred, stuck together, and is on the outside of the hot pack. I guess it had exploded. So I dumped the whole thing into the trash. Then I realized, wait, I don't want anything else to catch on fire. So I grab it and throw it in the sink and turned on the faucet. Smoke is everywhere now. I am now coughing and trying to air out the smoke. I don't burn food; I burn hot packs.

Then Thursday, Thanksgiving morning, I throw my oatmeal, water, and cinnamon in the microwave as I get ready. I put my apple sauce, almond milk, and almonds in it after it cooks. I eat a couple of bites. Then I notice I have something on my spoon that I didn't add to the oatmeal. I look at it and I am thinking did the pages of my Bible come apart because I see "God" typed on this paper. I keep looking at it and laugh as I read, "Let God surprise you." I just laughed and said, "okay, God, I am waiting." I had previously cut that little sentence out of a magazine one day and placed it on my fridge, but I never knew that it would surprise me and make me laugh so hard. I don't have any idea how it got in my oatmeal but it was too funny.

Today, My friend and I went to the Thanksgiving meal my church provided. We were so grateful that it was actually on Thanksgiving day. It was a delicious meal and the people were so friendly. I was so grateful to be a part of this gathering. After we played games, they let us take home as much food as we wanted since there was so many leftovers. So I piled my containers of food into that same waterproof bag I had on the bus along with my umbrella. My friend and I walked to my house. I carried the food and he carried the empty dishes that I had leftover from the special (non dairy) mashed potatoes and homemade chocolate chip cookies I had brought over to the church for the meal. As I was putting away the food, I noticed the gravy had spilled onto my blue umbrella and down to the bottom of the bag. I rinsed it off and I figured I would attend to it later. Later I decided, that bag has been through enough, so I gave it a farewell greeting to the trash can.

A few minutes ago, I grab my checkbook to pay a bill online. I notice it's wet. I look in my purse and the only other thing that is moist is some important papers. I am thinking "Okay, how did that happen," and then I remember about Wednesday morning. I chuckle a little bit. O well, if I cried about everything that ever happened to me that was unpleasant, I would never want to smile. So now  I have to air out my checkbook and the other papers so they will dry. I still have to keep the windows open because of the paint fumes, and not to mention the smell of smoke that is in my house. The air exhaust fan above the stove is on to take away the smoke smell, the ceiling fan is circulating to help the paint fumes, the air purifier is on to re-clean my air, and one more fan is on to dry the oil painting. Brr and now I am bundled up and want the heater on. lol Anyone know how to get the burned smell out of a microwave? So does this kind of stuff happen to you? lol

Well I had an awesome day on Thanksgiving day. I had a delicious Thanksgiving meal with friends at my church. I even won a prize. It reminded me of that note that fell in my oatmeal.
Even though today was Thanksgiving, it felt so much like Christmas because of the genuine love I felt among friends at church. I am totally excited of all the things that God is doing in my new life. I am enjoying my church family. I am so blessed to have found this church. I am grateful for the emotional and Spiritual growth I had at my previous church and now I look forward to all the great things in store for my new church. and Yes, I will always have crazy things in my life to give me something to blog about; I will always have God loving me; and I will always continue to grow! Thank you God for wonderful memories and crazy experiences in my life. God bless.

A Promise is a Promise*

Sunday, I went to The Ark. Yes, it's true. I found Noah and we are traveling back in time. All those animals were pretty hungry, so Noah decided it was my job to feed them, uggh...not my cup of tea. The smell of the elephants and camels were too much for me to bear with my strong sense of smell. After I talked to God about it, he gave me one of those filtered masks to wear. It made it much easier for me to breathe. He told me to spend time with all of the animals, and not just the monkeys. Although I did like to look at the spider monkeys; they so fascinated me.

Even though God told me to spend time with ALL the animals, I would not go near anything that looked or smelled like a bug or reptile. I left that up to Noah. I had to draw the line somewhere. Well maybe that's why God didn't choose for me to be on the ark. I have way too many allergies and stubbornness. He probably thought, "Nope, I cannot picture Teensy (a.k.a. Tanya) on the Ark, she just wouldn't make it out alive”. Lol

Well actually my new church is called "The Ark." If you look up at the ceiling in the sanctuary, it may resemble of what Noah's ark might have looked like. I know the church just changed its name to the Ark so I am pretty sure the ceiling had nothing to do with it, but sometimes my imagination takes the best of me.

Okay, so I went to church Sunday and the pastor talked about covenants with God. He had mentioned about how God may make a promise with you personally, but you should wait on God’s timing for the promise to come to pass. He said don’t do like Abraham and Sarah did. Don’t try to make God’s promise come to pass in your own way.
   

I will start out with Genesis 12; God tells Abram that he will make him a great nation. But Abram’s probably thinking: I am 75 years old, childless, and how can I make a great nation without children or descendents. Sarai didn’t feel that God would make Abram a father through her so she tells her hubby, “hey I’m old and gray, and way, waaaay up there in years. God won’t let me have children, so here is my maidservant. Go marry her, and have a child like God said even though it’s not happening with me.” (Okay she probably said it a little differently).

Abram says "okay, if I must. I mean God said he would give me a son. Right? So I have to do my ‘duty.’ It’s not going to happen unless I do something about it.” (emphasis is mine, again.)  

Notice that he didn’t stop, and say: “I love you; I don’t want to “sleep” with anyone else.” He goes and marries the lovely Hagar. I am sorry, but with a name like Hagar, I am picturing an ugly witch with a wart on a long nose. Hagar doesn’t sound pretty to me. Lol Abram gets married, has a honeymoon with his new wife, than out pops a baby 9 months later.  Sarai is bitter, and hurting. I can almost understand her pain, of wanting a child so badly, yet seeing someone else with a baby. It is very hard. Although she did put it on herself when she told her hubby to go have a baby. But now she’s so bitter, that she is mistreating Hagar.

In Genesis 17, God tells Abram,

“As for me, this is my covenant with you; You will be the father of many nations. No longer will you be called Abram, your name will be  Abraham. For I have made you a father of many nations. I will make you very fruitful...As for you, you must keep my covenant... As for Sarai, your wife, you are no longer to call her Sarai, her name will be Sarah. I will bless her and will surely give you a son by her. I will bless her so that she will be the mother of nations...” 

Here’s my favorite part.  Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, “will a son be born to a man of 100 years old. Will Sarah bear a child at the age of 90?”

God told Abraham and Sarah that they would have a child. Well they weren't exactly at the childbearing age of 70, I mean 40 years or under. I mean Sarah may have been around 89 and Abraham about 99 years old. Can you imagine having a child at that age? I mean nowadays that's at your death bed, or umm...about to get your ticket to heaven, hopefully. If you know what I mean. Well they might have laughed, but maybe they were a little scared. Can you imagine a 90 yr old lady pregnant? She probably couldn't or didn’t want to think of it. I wonder if she still had the aches and pains of an older lady and dealing with pregnancy too! Was she having a hard time walking with a walker made out of rods and rocks? Being pregnant might have seemed like a big joke. Did they have C-section’s back then?  Probably not.

Genesis 21 it says that the Lord was gracious to Sarah and gave her what he promised. She became pregnant and bore a son to her hubby in his old age. He named him Isaac. I like what Sarah says: “God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.” So she finally gets her baby; she is 100 years old now, and breastfeeding. Yes, Sarah, we can laugh with you; it doesn’t seem possible, but what God promised, he had it come to pass.

So many times we try to do things on our own. When God promises us things, we do what we can to make it come to pass. It’s like when I bought an emergency window ladder the other day. I had priced some of them online for $100 -$200 dollars. Well I found one at the second hand store for $10.  Instead of saving my money and waiting to buy one, I saw what I thought was a great deal. Well I purchased this ladder. It only is for 2 story buildings. I live in a 3 story building. I figured, just maybe I can jump down the ladder one more story. It was actually a useless purchase for me and I wasted my money. There is no way I can use that ladder if there was a fire at my apartments. So instead of waiting and buying a better one, I am stuck with one that doesn’t do what I need it to do.
We need to wait on God’s promises. When God promises us something, He will do it. We just have to be patient, and not try to make the promise happen like Abraham and Sarah did by trying to have a baby through their maidservant or me trying to buy an emergency ladder that is one story too short.
Did God promise you something special? Something that is just for you? Or maybe did he promise something for your family? I know that God has personally promised me things in my own life that haven’t come to pass yet, but I have to do my best and wait and not try to make the promise happen on my own. We have to let them go, yet have faith and hope that they will come to pass, in God’s timing. Even if we have to wait until we are 100 years old for the promises to be fulfilled, it will be worth the wait, when God’s involved.  

106 THINGS TO DO* WHEN YOU CAN’T SLEEP*

106 THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU CAN’T SLEEP
All sheep seemed to have disappeared, so no need to count them any more.
(Warning: The author has not tried all items on this list and is not held responsible for any damages that may occur while trying anything, especially if it is done while sleep walking; nor is she responsible for any lack of sleep that may occur or will continue to occur. There is no guarantee that sleep will occur or will be limited or excessive after doing all items on list. Caution: Do at your own risk)...  haha lol 
1. Pray
2. Read Bible
3. Tell God 20 things you are thankful for
4. Do relaxation techniques
5. Watch a boring DVD to make you drowsy
6. Pray for people you know
7. Pray for missionaries in other countries
8. Pray for people in other countries
9. Read a book
10. Drink a glass of warm milk
11. Check your email
12. Check your Facebook
13. Change your Facebook status
14. Check what everybody else’s Facebook status is
15. Write a To Do list
16. Accomplish something on your TO Do list
17. Water your plants
18. Go outside and count the stars
19. Ponder about who made the stars
20. Tell God how much you love him
21. Take pictures of the sunrise
22. Turn on TV and see how many infomercials you can watch in one hour
23. Make your lunch for later
24. Sneak downstairs in the dark and pretend you’re a spy in another country
25. Call someone you know who would be up at this time. Bonus, it could be someone on the other side of the USA or country who you haven’t talked to in awhile
26. Order something online
27. Scrapbook
28. Balance your checkbook
29. Balance your credit card book
30. Write out a budget
31. Watch videos on Utube.com and type in “clean comedy” in search bar
32. Dance a crazy dance
33. Do the laundry
34. Do 20 sit-ups
35. Do 20 sit-ups while singing “I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner”
36. Eat a nutritious snack
37. Write a nice letter (or email) to a friend
38. Make a grocery list
39. Write a goal list for the upcoming week
40. Write a goal list for the upcoming month
41. Write a goal list for this year
42. Write a bucket list
43. Write a Thank you card to someone who has helped you
44. Write Get Well cards to people you know who don’t feel well
45. Take a class online
46. Check how many minutes you used on your cell phone this month so far
47. Check you how many texts messages you used on your cell phone
48. Call the operator and wish them a Merry Christmas
49. Call 1800 4prayer (and say "help, I need sleep")
50. Find out how many ways you can laugh
51. Look in a mirror and make funny faces
52. Floss your teeth
53. Try a new hairdo
54. Clean the bathroom
55. Write a poem of song, and dedicate it to yourself
56. Count how many paper clips you have
57. Clean under your bed
58. Defragment your computer
59. See if your computer’s security system is up to date
60. Make a list of any vitamins or medicines you are running out of
61. Go for a walk (if it’s light out)
62. Clean your bedroom
63. Restock your stapler
64. Defrost your meat for tonight’s dinner
65. See if you can make something with a glob of dried glue
66. Connect the freckles on your arm (or face)
67. Write out your tithe or offering check
68. Count how many times you see the word “and” in the Bible
69. Count how many times you find the name “God” in the Bible
70. Find the word “Rapture” in the old testament
71. Find the word “Rapture in the new testament...just kidding...The actual word “Rapture” is not there, only the meaning. Lol
72. Dust your TV
73. Polish your silverware. If they are not real silver, just shine them with a towel anyway. Still looks nice
74. Do ice or heat pack treatments if needed
75. Organize your bookcase in alphabetical order (no, I haven’t done this)
76. Color coordinate your closet (I seriously used to do this in my early 20’s. Lol)
77. Draw a picture
78. Color the picture
79. Pay your bills
80. Take digital photos of everything you own
81. Delete the digital photos of everything you own
82. Organize your food pantry
83. Set aside any cans of food that could be donated to a community food pantry
84. Straighten the living room
85. Fix any pictures that are slanted by your kids or earthquakes
86. File your paperwork
87. Mend some clothes
88. Organize your miscellaneous drawer
89. Pray for your children or spouse
90. Do 20 pushups
91. Delete any folders or files in your computer you don’t need
92. Erase your old text messages in cell phone
93. Upload pictures from your camera onto your computer
94. Send pictures to your friends
95. Delete the pictures on phone or camera you don’t need any more
96. Add songs to your MP3 player or IPod
97. Play songs from your MP3 player or IPod
98. See how big you can blow a bubble with chewing gum
99. Go through all your clothes, and set aside any that don’t fit anymore and donate them.
100. Type up a prayer to God
101. Write “To God” on the envelope and mail your prayer
102. Count how many times you blink your eyes
103. Take deep breaths
104. Inhale
105. Exhale
106. Slowly close your eyes

Good Night or Good Morning to whichever came first!!!

Calmness in the Night *

TO DO LIST:
*Do change of address (check)...
*Buy groceries (check)...
*Call Verizon (check)...
*Secure and tie down rabbit cage and plants...

I woke up at 2:40 a.m. and jumped out of bed when I heard the effects of the high winds. The day before I had looked at the Weather forecast online and it didn't mention high winds. Daily I had been keeping a mental note that I needed to tie down the rabbit cage and my outside plants before the high winds start up yet I kept procrastinating. I didn't want my rabbit cage (along with my rabbit) to blow away with the gusty winds we get over here.

I ran downstairs, grabbed some scissors and rope and jetted for the rabbit cage. My plants were blowing frantically and swaying crazily. A nearby heavy object flies past me along with some other debris. The wind takes my long, brown hair and circles it like a tornado and twists it into a complete mess. The leaves cling onto the trees, not wanting to let go. It was a chaotic circus of events that affected natures quiet time.

Swoosh, whirl, boom are the noises all around me. A distant tree bark that was long in length collides with my forehead. After I look around at the surroundings,
I decide to take a peak at my velvety rabbit under the blue, torn tarp that had been covering his cage. Precious, which is the name I gave my precious rabbit, was completely calm and at peace, in his little shelter I had made for him. He looked like he was a rabbit in a hole or even a cave protected from the outside world. Precious was just sitting there munching on his rabbit food as though nothing was going on around him.

I decided that I should still secure the rabbit cage. I took some white rope to hold down the metal cage, and then I paused. I look up and I saw the most beautiful sky above me. It was so clear, yet deep and dark. It portrayed peace and calmness above. The winds had emptied the sky of it's fog, mist, and white puffy clouds that hide the universe; for all you could see were the very things that God created. The sparkling stars were numerous in the heavens way above my head. I took a moment to say "Thank you God" and acknowledged his peacefulness.

No matter what the chaos is, God may show up with his calmness and serenity that relaxes your soul and you know without a doubt, that there is nothing greater than God Himself.

(11/11/10)
Picture by Expressive Praise

My Usual Doctor's Appointments*

Sometimes it just feels good for me to write things out; it is very therapeutic. So here it goes:

The questions you may be tired of answering at the doctor's office and how sometimes you may want to reply but don't because you are too polite.

My sarcastic appointments:


Name? on chart
Medical #? on chart
Age? I am a month older than the last time you asked.
Weight? 110 lbs. (give or take on a lot of factors)
Sex? None of your business (lol) Female/Male? If you can't tell that I am female, you really are the one who needs the doctor
Pulse? yes
Height? Still 5ft (haven't changed since the last time you asked)

Procedures? Read attached medical file
Surgeries? Minor surgery, had 4 teeth pulled out at once
When did you have your last period? Excuse me, that is my business.
Are you Sexually Active? No
Are you pregnant? No, I just said I am not sexually active
Are you sure you are not pregnant? Yes
How sure are you that you are not pregnant? I am a 100% sure
Hmmm? You are kidding me, right?

Are you on any Medications? Yes, remember all the ones you prescribed. Actually, please read attached list
Why are you here? Because I am in excruciating pain everywhere.
Are you in any Pain? Yes, Everywhere
Where abouts is your pain? I just said, it's everywhere
Would you say your pain is all over your body? yes
On a scale of one to ten, how bad is your pain? It's a 10.
Where is this pain that is at a 10? everywhere.
What does your pain feel like? It's excruciating.
So would you say your pain is discomforting? No, I said it is excruciating.
So would you say it is throbbing, sharp, or dull? Who cares; it hurts!
Any sudden bowel changes? None ya business. Do I talk to you about your bowel movements?
Any other medical conditions? Yes, read attached medical resume.
Do you see any other specialists? Yes, the ones the doctor referred me to. Hello are you losing your mind? Please read attached medical resume.
When did you have your last blood work done? The info is in the chart you are holding.

Then the doctor comes in and asks:
"What can I do for you today?"

uggghh

A Chuckle with God*

So I am up this morning and it's 3:30 am. I have been awake for about half an hour without sleep. (Yes,I am using up a "spoon" already. If you don't understand, request last post). As I hobble to use the restroom, I look up at my wall and read a mini silver plague that I put on my wall. It's actually a Christmas ornament that I bought a week ago at Walmart for 75% percent off. Hey, that's a bargain: it was only 74 cents, so that was a gift, in itself. Woohoo!!!

The mini plague says:

"Trust - We know and rely on the love God has for us John 4:16."

I decided to look up the scripture. I know I have heard that saying before, but I wanted to make sure it was scriptural. As an adult, I realized a lot of things I thought was in the Bible, were just sayings people had said.

I look up John 4:16. It says, "He told her,'Go, call your husband and come back.'" I just laughed. So many people had that ornament hanging on their tree and thinking that the relying on God verse was John 4:16. I just laughed. Still chuckling. too funny. lol.

It also reminded me of several years ago, when my niece Jennifer was little. We were in my room and she wanted me to read a verse from the Bible. I asked her which one did she want me to read. We decided to play a game; she would point to a verse, and I would read it. The first verse we came upon was John 4:16. I think in a different translation it said, "Go get your husband." We both just laughed. Knowing that I am not married and her and I wanted that dream to be fulfilled one day, we just roared in laughter. It was a memory that I will cherish with my niece.

To continue with the ornament verse, I had to find out where that verse was. I looked up 1 John 4:16:

"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us."  

So the quote on my ornament was in the book of "First John" and not the gospel book of "John"....too funny

I might have got up early due to insomnia, but I had a chuckle with God this morning. Thank you God...

Thanksgivng Day - funny moments*

I had a good Thanksgiving Day especially since it was peaceful and relaxing; well it didn't start that way.

I had spend the night at my sister's house; I slept on the couch. Couches are not always comfortable, but I didn't complain and I tried to fall asleep. Anyone who knows me, knows that I have sensitive ears. I could hear two clocks ticking and the water heater making some loud sounds. Then the refrigerator would run. Before I went to bed, I asked my sis if she minded if I take the battery out of the smoke detector that was upstairs and would beep once, every minute. She was surprised that I could hear that, but she knew that I have sensitive ears. Anyway, I finally fell asleep.

I wake up at 1:30 am and feel wide awake; I decide to do something productive til 3am. Then I went back and laid down. I still had a hard time sleeping and as I was about to doze off, I kept hearing footsteps and rattling sounds. Without looking up, I thought it was my sister. I ended up talking to her but she wouldn't respond. After a few minutes, I decided to get up and turn the light on. It turns out that her cat was in my sister's big purse and was digging for something. All I could see was part of his backside and a tail for the rest was in the purse.

I lured him out of it and went back to bed. I kept hearing a lot of rustling, so I get back up, turned on the light just to find the cat back in the purse. He popped his head out and pulled out a baggie with some chicken nugget pieces in a sealed Ziplock bag. I decided to just give him the chicken and put the purse in another room. The cat began to purr as he ate the nuggets and I went back to the couch.
So I guess you could say that I didn't sleep well.

My sister had the turkey in the oven by 9 am. Since I didn't sleep well, I am not in a hurry to get up. I lay on the couch watching the tiny chihuahua drag an  uncooked turkey neck across the kitchen floor to go bring it outside. All I could do was laugh. I guess the cat jumped in the sink and stole the turkey neck and jumped down, with it in his mouth. The dog was thankful. My sister takes the turkey neck from the dog and cooks it for her pets.

We ate our dinner and in the middle of watching a movie, I decide to take a break.  I walked by the dog and notice he is chomping on something that's almost the same size as himself. I bend down to look at it; it's a huge piece of ham; it's humongous. I didn't think anything of it; yet I just happened to tell my sister about it. She said that we didn't even cook ham, and she was right; I didn't even think about the fact that he was chomping on something we didn't even have in the house. So where did he get that ham since he's been in the house or inside the enclosed tiny back yard the whole day? Here's the scenario:

The only thing that could have happened was that the cat jumped onto the 6 + ft tall fence to get out of the yard which we have seen him do a lot. Either he found that great piece of ham in the dumpster or he stole it from one of our neighbors' dinner plates. LOL. It looked like it had just been sliced; maybe the ham was sliced into four pieces and someone gave him a slice. I don't know. Too funny. Can you picture this? A cat with a huge carving of ham in its mouth, climbing on top of a 6+ ft fence, and jumping onto the ground. I don't know, he might have dropped the ham a few times. So he drags it through the opened back door that leads to the kitchen and gives it to the tiny dog. I think the dog had the best Thanksgiving ever, don't you think? lol

FUNNIEST Dog-Sitting* Adventures*

I usually house sit at different friends' houses, but this time I was dog sitting, cat sitting, or maybe zoo sitting a couple of weeks ago. I was taking care of 3 cats and 5 dogs.Thankfully the tortoise was in hibernation.

One of the cats, we will name Crazy Cat, decided to have fun in the field in the back. He came in with fox tails, weeds, and dirt all over his thick fur so I spent a great amount of time picking them out of his fur and mostly out of his bottom. (no fun)

One night, as I opened the bathroom door and was drying my clean and shiny hair, I noticed in the dark living room that the cat dropped a sock near the puppy. I thought it was no big deal; then I thought about it. The cat doesn't usually have socks in his mouth, the dog does. So I turned on the light in the living room and noticed I was staring at a gopher. Yuck, eeek, ooouuuooo. I don't like rodents. So I was about to dodge for something to get rid of it and realized the broom and dust pan were in the kitchen. The 3 dogs and 1 cat were trying to get near the yummy delicacy. As I shooooed them away, I ran for the broom in a sprint.

I took a deep breath and swept up the rodent, but the rodent was soft and limp and wouldn't slide nicely onto the dustpan. I had to keep trying to gather this fresh kill before the animals devoured it. This was not a great day for me; still makes me grossed out just thinking about it. lol

I finally got it and was heading out the front door when I realized there was the huge dog on the front porch. I had to sway her away and put the rodent outside with the dustpan. I am just thankful the dustpan had a tall handle. I looked outside and remembered I already took out the trash cans earlier because the next day would be trash day. As I looked down, I realized I am in my pj's, yet I had to get rid of this rodent before the animals got it. I ran and grabbed a jacket and didn't care how I looked. I walked out to the front of the house, out to the street, and carefully put that limp gopher in the trash can.

So glad that was over. Now it was time to get ready for bed. The owner of the dogs likes her animals to wear clothes, so I changed 4 of their clothes just in case she came home the next day. I put on their warm shirts because it was cold. I felt like I was getting 4 babies ready for bed. Crazy. Okay 2 dogs had medicine, changed 4 dog's clothes, made sure they all went out to potty, and then put 3 in a bed. One of them was missing her owner so she slept on the floor in my bedroom. Okay every body is set, so now I get some time to myself. Man, I felt like a crazy mom. lol
Whew, what a night!!!

I had a hard time sleeping; the dog "Bella" I let sleep in my room, actually snores. Then in the middle of the night, something startled me. I looked on the side of my bed, and the dog was jumping up and down really high, trying to get on my bed. All I could do was laugh. I don't know how long she had been jumping and NO I did not let her sleep with me.

The next morning I realized it was going to be a hot day, so I had to change the dogs clothes again because they would have roasted in their warm clothes. So I ran to the dresser drawer where all the dog's clothes were and picked out 4 more outfits, then threw them on them because my bus was about to pick me up. Then I made sure 2 of them had their meds and all were fed and I was out the door.

(The Next day) I was getting things done in the house, and then made sure the door was locked and the alarm was set before getting ready for bed. A half hour passed by and I kept hearing barking. I told one of the dogs that was following me to stop barking. Yet she wouldn't stop. Actually I figured out it wasn't her at all; it was one of the dogs I forgot about and left him outside. So I had to unset the alarm and open the door and let him in. Then I turned the alarm back on.

A little later, I kept hearing running water. It was bugging me because I was the only one in the house. So I opened the door and forgot about the fact that I had turned on the alarm. So the alarm is now blaring; I run and turn it off. I call the alarm company to tell them that it was a false alarm and didn't want to be charged for it. I dialed the number that was written down. It said the number is changed and to call another number. So I call that number; after following all of the steps and talk to an actual person; they said I have the wrong alarm company. So then I finally call the correct company and the rep said that the alarm didn't register onto the system. I guess if you turn the alarm off within a few seconds, it doesn't compute. I remember running to turn the alarm off. What a crazy week I had!!!
And the owner of the dogs wonders why I was so exhausted after I dog sat. funny. lol.   Stay tuned for more adventures.

Are you a monkey?*

Yah, and about that evolution thing, people actual believe that we came from apes or monkeys. You might have come from a monkey, but I didn't. And if we came from monkeys, why are there still some at the zoo? Are we holding them hostage to see if they will turn into a person's son or daughter someday. That just cracks me up.

Anyone that knows me real well, knows that my favorite animal is the monkey, but I know that I wasn't a monkey, never been a monkey, never will be a monkey and my great, great, great, and a million more great grandparents were not monkeys. So stop monkeying around, and get a clue: God created us... God is my true father, not the monkey.

Learning a few Lessons*, at the Airport*

Learning a few lessons, AGAIN…before leaving the airport
After I arrived at the Ontario airport, Liz was kind enough to help me bring my luggage to the “check- in” line before she left. We said goodbye and then I waited in line; you know the usual stuff that happens. When I checked in, the female employee asked for my I.D. and then she asked me to pick up one of the luggages to put it on the scale. I kindly told her that it was too heavy for me and asked if she would help me. She said, “no, but if you aren’t going to do it, then I am not either.” I said, “Okay.”
She then proceeded to tell me to bring my check-in luggages to another section to be screened. No problem, I thought. Then I tried to juggle 2 luggages, one carry-on, my purse, and a jacket. I had no luck; I kept dropping things including my ticket and I.D. I finally asked for help. The lady called for “assistance” and then an employee came with a wheel chair, I told him I didn’t need the wheel chair, I just needed a little bit of help to get to the security screening. The female employee said, “We don’t do that,” and the male employee kindly said he’d help me…I was so grateful…Everything checked-in and I was set for the carry-on luggage to be screened.
Everything was fine, until the security lady asked me if the small black carry-on was mine; after I said yes, she pulled me to the side to look through it… I wasn’t worried because I did everything the airlines said to do. I had all my medicines in their original bottles, no knives, guns (can you picture me with a gun? No way), or sharp objects, and I even had all the 3 oz. bottles in the Ziploc bag. So I thought nothing of it… She searched it over and over again until she pulled out a can of Cambells’ chicken noodle soup and asked if I needed this. I said, “yes, I planned on eating it…I was just thinking of my hunger and stomach problems, that’s why I brought it along. She asked me two more times, “do you need this soup?” I said yes, but then I was thinking: go ahead and take it…I don’t need it that bad… She came closer to me and quietly said, “I will let you bring it on this time, but don’t bring it on again. We are not supposed to let you bring on liquids.” I apologized for bringing it, but I told her that I was just honestly thinking of my stomach and nothing else and it never occurred to me, to not bring it.” ..So from now on, note to self and the rest of the world: do not bring Campbell’s soup on board the airplane.

When Leaving Oklahoma …
As I waited patiently in line, took off my shoes, my jacket, and put all objects in the bucket, I proceeded through the security section and of course, the alarm went off. So I showed them my metallic medical Medic Alert necklace which I thought was the problem. The security guy asked me a series of questions as he came closer to make sure I didn’t proceed to another area. Thankfully he asked if I was wearing a belt, I thought, -oh yeah, I just bought a belt in OK and it has a big buckle, so I had to put that through the security screening… I was so grateful it was my belt; I didn’t want to be physically searched.

NOTE TO SELF: NO big belt buckles and NO cans of soup. How will I eat or hold my pants up? LOL

Have a great God-loving day...