Speaking up*

On behalf of all who deal with debilitating chronic pain...I know people mean well, but some people don't understand what we deal with.  For if they did, they would not be doing and saying what they are.  

Some people seem to get mad at us when we are not well. Others demand healings that don't come. And even others try to shove diets, supplements or other alternative to medicines down our throat. 

Some of us have tried so many different things and for some of us, all they do is give us more side effects. We may have spent so much money on "alternative meds."  

I wish people would realize that some of us have sensitivities.  We have sensitivities to food, to supplements, to medicines, to temperature, to barometric pressure, to allergies, to even the air we breathe, or whatever is in it.  

People seem to get frustrated and even tell us "well, if you ate this way" or "if you would only take this medical treatment, than everything will get better"...so we try it, and guess what? It doesn't work, for some of us. And then there are others who give us more unwanted advice and they may give a condescending look as though we are sinning or done something awful because we are not taking their advice. To those people who say "well, if you just did this ______."  I want to tell you, thank you, but, no thank you.  It gets overwhelming when the same people (over and over again) keep pushing us to take the next best and new thing. Just because it works for some, doesn't mean it works for everybody...

It weighs so heavily on my heart. I know I am not well, for I have been practically housebound for about 4 months and even bed bound at times.  There's times that I can't even cook for myself so I end up eating a bowl of cereal for dinner. Do people really think that I like living this way? No I don't. That's why I have tried so many different things to help me to get better.  And believe me, I have done a lot of prayer in the process and prayed, and prayed, and prayed some more for a healing...I still hope and pray for a healing, but I have to take care of myself in this condition, in the meantime.

Some of us have even had people tell us to go to such and such preacher or a healing service for God to heal us...We know that God can heal us instantaneously.  (I know that maybe there is a reason he has me in this condition, at this time. God can heal me at a healing service, at a healing conference, or even in my house.)  Nowhere in the Bible does it say you have to go to a special place for a healing. Please don't stop praying for our healing, but please don't push us into the healing or get mad when it doesn't come. It may come soon, later, or maybe never. 

We may have even had people tell us "you need more faith and you need to believe God is going to heal you." To those I say, "I have way more than a mustard seed of faith."  We have had others imply that maybe something is wrong with us, that maybe we are being too negative, or maybe our walk with God isn't right, or maybe there's some secret sin we need to ask God to forgive us from. That is not cool to say either.  Unless God told you specifically to say that, Please don't say those things. That can be hurtful. 

We don't know why people sometimes appear to be angry when we are not well...Does it affect them some how? Well, I guess yes it does when we are unable to hang out with them, or even go to church and sit by them... Do they live with the day to day pain we deal with? Do they help us when we need it? Does it affect them when we have lost our strength in our body to where we can't even walk that far? so why do people treat others who are chronically ill like this. I don't know...

To those who are constantly shoving wellness at us, we know you mean well, but it wears us out every time you do this. 

We need strength, love, hope, and peace in our life. Not demanding faith, shoving diets, pushing supplements, and throwing things at us that are not positive.

Sometimes it's best to step back and look at the situation.  Think of what people who are in horrible chronic pain really deal with. 

Close your eyes and visualize chronic, debilitating pain throughout your whole body. How do you feel when you have the flu? Do you feel great? Are you at your best performance? Do you feel weak? When you push yourself too much, do you feel worse and does your pain feel worse? Do you usually ask or want someone to help you out?  Do you have a lot of energy and strength or do you tend to lay on the couch or bed, like most people who have the flu, hoping for that day you will get better. Now picture having that flu everyday, that's kind of like what some of us who have chronic pain deal with on a daily basis. If we do too much, than our pain levels increase. Yet sometimes we have to push ourselves to clean the house, or take care of family, go grocery shopping, or just doing daily tasks.

Now that you have this information, can you help others who deal with this kind of  life? Sometimes our friends or family may stay away because they don't want to deal with "us" in this condition or they try to minimize what we deal with. They don't want to face the fact that this is life for "us."   

We are not saying to change your whole life for us; just be courteous, encouraging, loving, supportive, hospitable, and prayerful.  Is there something you can do to help us?  Can you lend a hand, help us go on errands, bring a hot meal, a hug, come and sit by us and chat? Do you check up on us by text, phone, or slow mail to see if we are okay or just need a friendly voice to chat with.  We like encouraging cards too. We are human just like everyone else, and we have feelings too. 

And please don't stop praying for us for a healing. We need all the prayers we can get.  We hope for a miracle of healing, yet we have to take care of our bodies the way they are, at this time...

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