Stop and Listen to God

God has been telling me to get up early to pray the last couple of days. Sometimes I don't know what to pray...and He says: "that is okay....because I want you to stop and listen...Listen to me...Listen to the birds chirping. Yes I made those birds....Watch the sunrise....Yes I made that sunrise....Look at the grass and the trees....Yes I made those too. Do you see the humans driving by?... I made the human race... Do you hear the noise?...I created noise...and yes, I created you to hear because I created the ear...and if you ever think, well some people might be deaf, and not hear...Well, I gave them other things that are extra special...You would have to be deaf, to get to know what that is."

 

There are many gods out there but has any of them ever made the sunrise?  No they haven't...because I am the true God. They can try to reproduce what I make but some things are just impossible.

Prayer_sermon notes

Wow I just listened to a sermon from my church and it is amazing. I have never really heard a sermon quite like this one about the Lord's prayer. I know a lot of people and churches quote "The Lord's Prayer yet God uses it more as a guide or template to teach us how to prayer.

""This, then, is how you should pray:

“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,

your kingdom come,
your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.
 Give us today our daily bread.
 And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.
 And lead us not into temptation,
    but deliver us from the evil one.’""Matthew 6:9-11

1) It says "Our Father in heaven..."
We need to have a relationship with God. He is our Father, our Dad, our Abba (Daddy), We need to spend time with him, so we can get to know him like he knows us. When we pray we should be excited about praying, but not feel like it is an obligation. This is a time that we get to hang out with our father, our Abba.
We need to seek the face of God AND THEN we will see the hand of God move.
Cry out to God, pour your heart out to him.  (Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7)

2) We read that it says "Hallowed be your name."
Great is God's name. We need to remember and ponder on how great our God is. I think sometimes we forget about how magnificent he is. He made the earth, other planets, the galaxy, the bright sun, the twinkling stars, our human body, etc...and we belong to him.

We don't belong to the chaos and dysfunction around us; we belong to God.


3) The Bible also says: "your kingdom come, your will be done..." 
Lay down your agenda. Do God's agenda and His will. We might think we know what is best for us, but God always sees the bigger picture. We might have a vision, but God has a bigger vision; seek what he wants in our lives.  Breathe in his oxygen, his will, for you.
Ask God what is the next step for your life. Seek Him: His agenda, and His will.

Lean on God as our great Father, seek his face, do his will, his way, breath in his oxygen.

The actual sermon is very well spoken. Please listen to it by clicking on the link below:
https://youtu.be/tL-v6lp0KhM



(reference to Pastor Chris Norman's sermon, Citizen's church, on January 7, 2018)

all scripture quoted in this blog is from Biblegateway.com, the NIV translation.

Glutino Table Crackers- gluten free

I used to eat Saltine Crackers all the time with my soup or chicken broth. But since I have gone gluten-free, I eat the Glutino Gluten Free Table Crackers.
To me, they taste like the crust of the pre-made pot pies in the frozen aisle at the grocery store.

I have bought them at Clarks Nutritional Store and Walmart Neighborhood Market. You can also buy them at Amazon.com.  A seven ounce box usually is about $2.50 to $3.50.

1) Glutino table crackers at Wal-mart

#Wal-Mart  www.walmart.com
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Glutino-Gluten-Free-Table-Crackers-7-oz-12-pk/33318159


2) Glutino table crackers at Amazon.com

#Amazon  www.Amazon.com
https://www.amazon.com/Glutino-Crackers-Original-4-4-oz/dp/B001OW1SJ0/ref=sr_1_8_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1501636446&sr=8-8&keywords=glutino+table+crackers

Rice Dream Rice Milk

I am one of those who can't drink milk due to being lactose intolerant so I have had to find other alternatives. There is almond, coconut and rice milk (or drinks) which I cook with or put in my hot or cold foods like rice grits.

One of the products I use is the Original Organic Rice Dream (Rice Drink). I usually buy it at the Wal-mart Neighborhood Market or the local grocery store like Stater Brothers. The one thing I like about this product is that it doesn't need refrigeration until it is opened. So I can stock up on these and they don't go bad for a couple of years.

They come in vanilla, regular, or unsweetened. Sometimes I forget to look on the package of which flavor it is and accidentally buy the unsweetened which is not what I like. I just add a little bit of agave syrup to it and I am good to go. They come in a couple of different sizes.

I can get a carton of Rice drink for about $2.50 to $3.70. I do try to look for the sales where they have 2 for $5.00. 

Rice Dream at Target

Rice Dream (Rice Drink) at Wal-mart

1) Wal-mart 

https://www.walmart.com/search/?query=rice+dream+original&&adid=22222222224318211288&wmlspartner=wmtlabs&wl0=b&wl1=o&wl2=c&wl3=10390962244&wl4=kwd-64008595146&wl12={ProductId}&wl14=Original%20Organic%20Rice%20Dream%20(Rice%20Drink).&veh=sem

2) Target   

https://www.target.com/p/rice-dream-enriched-vanilla-rice-drink-64oz/-/A-13438976?lnk=rec|adaptpdpexsrch|related_prods_vv|adaptpdpexsrch|13438976|0  

Gluten Free Granola bars

It can become so frustrating as to what foods to eat, if you are like me, who has tremendous amounts of sensitivities to food products. I become sick when I eat dairy and I have sensitivities to foods with gluten, soy, and corn which cause digestion problems. So I either have to limit the food items or avoid them whenever possible. There is a lot of other foods that I can't eat due to the symptoms they cause. Through the last couple of years of searching, I have found some food items that I can actually eat which doesn't cause health problems in my sensitive system.


I found that a nearby Walmart Grocery store has gluten free products. One of the things I like to buy and snack on  is "Gluten Free Granola bars" by Great Value. Their flavors are dark chocolate, trail mix, fruit mix,and peanut butter, etc... For a box of 5, it costs about $2.48. They are chewy which is good for me who can't handle hard, crunchy granola bars due to my jaw problems.

I personally love the dark chocolate one because it seems to melt in my mouth and tastes like a candy bar. I can't eat the peanut butter or the fruit mix granola bars because they have peanuts in them which is another thing I am sensitive too. I lean towards the trail mix flavor due to it having no peanuts and I do love the taste.

#GreatValueGlutenFreeGranolabars
#GreatValue
#SnackBars
#GranolaBars
#Walmart

If you want more info on the product, click on the link below to see the nutritional value, etc...
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Great-Value-Gluten-Free-Trail-Mix-Granola-Bars-1-oz-5-ct/37587883


www.walmart.com

One Memorable Day

You would have laughed at my adventure. Last Saturday we were in the middle of a heatwave and it was already 102 degrees, at noon, where I live. My boyfriend and I took a trip up to the mountains where it would be cooler at 86 degrees. When I arrived, I immediately felt relaxed, and enjoyed breathing in the fresh air. The weather was so wonderful compared to the 114 degrees we felt a day earlier. We took out our cameras and took shots of the beautiful trees and relaxing lake. We were having a wonderful, peaceful time together.

We continued to take pictures of the lake as it started to drizzle and yet we were laughing at all the people who had left in a hurry because of the little drizzle. To us, it was so refreshing to be away from the heat and it felt so easier to breathe with the cool moisture in the air.

We walked back to our picnic area because I needed a drink of water from my water bottle which I left on the picnic table. Since we walked back we decided to eat lunch. We chatted and enjoyed each other's company in the breathtaking scenery yet our yummy picnic food was starting to get wet because it started to rain.Thankfully we were near a tree where we could wait under until the rain stopped.  We still chatted and enjoyed the fresh air and laughed at the situation and how only a few people were in sight. 

Then all of a sudden, my boyfriend looked toward the lake, and noticed that their was a storm. It was down pouring on the lake and would soon be coming toward us. I grabbed my camera and made sure it was protected yet quickly and gently placed in the camera bag. I kept it with me so it wouldn't get ruined. (This is the day I learned that my camera bag is water proof. Thank God for that!!!) 

Suddenly all of our items: various food, travel bag, etc... was soaked. I was going to put it all under the table but I noticed there were ants underneath and I didn't want to deal with that mess.  We had nowhere to go but be sheltered from the storm under the tree we were under. Thank God for the trees. I seriously thought of hunkering down and taking shelter underneath the picnic table but I did enjoy the atmosphere and the adventure I was having with my love. I just laughed at my bag of chips which I probably should have grabbed and put under the tree with me...It was soaked. Later I looked in my travel bag and the half roll of toilet paper I brought, in case there were not any in the bathrooms, was soaked, as well...So glad I didn't need it. lol 

I am grateful that I did have to get my water bottle before the storm hit. If I didn't need a drink of water, we would have been soaked on the path by the lake; and I would not have been able to protect my nice camera. There is quite a difference from being wet by the rain than being soaked by the storm. We stayed under that beautiful tree for about 20 minutes as the temperature dropped 20 degrees in about an hour to around 69 degrees. It was a bit cold since we were wet.  

When the rain let up we decided we better hurry to the car.  As we got to the parking lot, there were some little rivers due to the downpour and I noticed one poor guy who had just finished putting his boat in his truck. He was completely soaked. 

Like I said, we were not too wet, but just enough to make me shiver a little from the cooler rain. Well I was wearing shorts and not wearing a coat or sweater when I left my apartment because it was 102 degrees.When I sat in the car, I grabbed a blanket to wrap around me to keep me warm. It was a blanket that I had in a pillow case which was soaked yet somehow the blanket was only a little wet.. 

We were laughing at our hilarious adventure as we returned to our city which was now at 109 degrees. It was such a drastic difference from the coolness up in the mountains. I didn't bother to worry about the back seat in the car that was wet from the storm because anything can dry fast, in a 109 degrees.  

I am still laughing about the adventure we had. It was so much fun...It's an adventure I will always remember.  
This adventure does remind me, though, that God shelters us from the storm just like the tree did for my boyfriend and I.

"Search Party: Lost and Found" - Sermon Notes

Here are notes from the sermon my pastor, Chris Norman, preached on April 23, 2017

In church we need to stop focusing on what we can get from the church like potlucks and certain activities and start focusing on lost and hurting people. We need to do a search party and look for lost and hurting souls.
Jesus didn't focus on money and food throughout his ministry, he focused on finding lost souls and disciplining them. Teaching them.

-Get to the heart of Jesus.
*What am I known for? 

*How am I carrying the name of Jesus in my daily life?

-The Church is home. When people come home, their lives start changing.
-The Church is a changing agent.  God uses the church to change people's lives.

“Therefore, say to the Israelites: ‘I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment. I will take you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God, who brought you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. And I will bring you to the land I swore with uplifted hand to give to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob. I will give it to you as a possession. I am the Lord.’”        Exodus 6:6-8(NIV)

1) I (the Lord) will bring you out of Egypt, bondage, and slavery.

2) I (the Lord) will deliver you out of bondage. He will take the bondage of Egypt out of you. {If you are always in bondage, you need to learn how to live without being in bondage}.

3) I (the Lord) will redeem you to bring you back to who you are intended to be.

4) I (the Lord) will take you as my people.

-Know God

-Grow in community and in Him (God).

-Discover your purpose. God put something in you that He intends to fulfill in you to give to the body of Christ. 

Do what God called you to do!!!

 Live out what Jesus called us to do that we would be a search party.

Search and see lives changed.

Click below to listen to Pastor Chris' sermon
Pastor Chris "Search Party: Lost and Found"
https://youtu.be/14MdrxXEgT4

CHRISTMAS IS*

CHRISTMAS IS

Christmas is
            to chat, to laugh, to eat, to have fun
            and spend time with new friends or loved ones

Christmas is
            a time to view the Christmas tree and decor
            and enjoy the festive spirit galore

Christmas is
            not just the turkey and trimmings on the table
            but the baby in the manger in the stable

Christmas is
            more than the presents which are nice
            but about the Christ who paid the price

Christmas is
            a day to celebrate our Savior and King
            to give recognition to our Heavenly being

Christmas is
            a time to think of how much God loves you
            and I'm saying this because I know it's true

Merry Christmas

Changes in my Pet World

This year I have had several changes in my life in the pet world..

Last November 17, my fur baby Buttons had to be put down because of his declining health.  I grieved but I needed a pet companion so I adopted a cat late last year from the animal shelter who I didn't know was so sick. She had ringworm and sarcoptic mange which she gave me both. At the beginning of the year I had to clean my whole house from top to bottom, twice, due to those incidents. ...which also means cleaning every single clothing and linen in my entire house. I was so exhausted.

Then my health was being compromised due to the cat so I gave her to a friend who wanted to keep her in spite of (and help her with) all her health issues.  I ended up with another beautiful and very talented cat but he missed his owners so much that he cried loudly which increased my headaches to migraines. So I sadly had to return him.

Then I was given a cat in April who I now call my fur baby. Little Gracie is such a delight and her silly antics keep me laughing.  I've had her for 7 months now and she finds ways to get my attention.  She has given me a love bite in the buttox (lol) to opening my cabinet doors just to get my attention if she wants to eat or for me to pet her. I have woken up to her laying soundly asleep on my tummy and sometimes I wake up to her outstretched on my hip when I'm on my side. She has licked my arm with her sandpaper tongue and pulls at my hair with her tiny teeth.

She also has a way of communicating as she is very  vocal but her cute, yet quite voice brings laughter to my ears and heart. Don't let her cuteness get you though,  she tends to put her teeth softly around my wrist as to tell me when she's done needing petted or she just wants to be left alone.  My former cat, Buttons, didn't have any teeth so I forgot what love bites and warnings felt like.  Lol

It has now been a year that Buttons has been gone and I sure miss that little toothless, 20 year old Fur Baby (or should I call him Grandpaw. He was around 96 years old in feline years). Yet if I didn't let him go, I would have never had a chance to meet my little 3 1/2 year old Gracie who we share the same birthday.... (oh by the way,  before I changed Gracie's name, it was Ethel and her sister's name is Lucy which is funny because sometimes I feel like Lucy and Ethel when I get in my silly moods). Gracie is such a delight and I'm grateful that she is my pet companion after all I had to go through with the pet changes.

Signing off,
The mother of Ethel Magillicutty a.k.a Gracie

Adventures of Venice Beach in CA

There are a lot of interesting characters that made me laugh a lot, or was it the great weather, hanging with my friend, or enjoying this variety of culture and adventure. This day was fun and yet interesting at the same time....

After about ten minutes of our arrival to the boardwalk which was filled of various shops and vendors, there was a guy trying to lure me into his shop for some "marijuana" that he sold. I declined yet marijuana filled different parts of the boardwalk. I hope there are no affects from 2nd hand smoke of marijuana lol...otherwise I'm in trouble. 

It was so cool watching a guy sing and play his guitar while he was riding his bike.  There was another guy in some creative skates rolling down the boardwalk also playing his own guitar. That was another intriguing moments. Then there were probably 10 temporary tattoo vendors, many unusual and funny shirt shops, and some crude that I didn't like. I enjoyed watching some musical artists including an average looking lady playing a piano that she somehow dragged in for the day.

I saw a guy riding his bike with a platform for his dogs who were sitting right above the front tire. Those dog were so relaxed There were blue haired people, dread locks on white boy's heads, and dogs galore, not to mention the long albino snake on a guy's shoulders that we stayed away from.

There were unusual artistic talents to beautiful artwork pieces. One artist had a painting of a head with all sorts of scenes in that painting. It was amazing.  There were a few musical artists that were passing out free cds of their raegae music and then the next thing you know is you are donating money for a free c.d.

Then there was a freak show about to start where people were paying to go inside to take pictures of the so- called freaks. I realized I couldn't go inside that place when I saw the employees who they considered freaks that were on the steps for advertisement. One lady didn't have any legs, another guy was a little person or what people consider midgets. Another person had basically grown a full beard all over his whole head. I couldn't go in because I knew I would cry due to my grown compassionate nature. I don't think those are freaks; they are people like you and me who have things that aren't the average person. I was thinking about how much God so loved them,

And yes everyone on the boardwalk was a person trying to live their lives in different ways. Some not as successful as others. There were homeless people trying to get a buck from ones passing by, some others may have been homeless but they were trying to sell a piece of themselves in their unusual artwork.

I took some pictures but my not-so smartphone deleted them all. I so wish I had the pictures I took of the huge beautiful waves crashing into the magnificent rocks. It was so breathtaking; God's masterpiece.

It was a great day, and yet I wonder if it somehow changed me....I feel more cultured.

A Little about Me

People have asked me how can I smile while dealing with a lot of health issues. It isn't always easy yet experiencing twenty- one years of chronic, intense pain, I have learned to use tools that are available to me. I have been in a chronic pain management program, been through tons of Counseling, and researched a lot about the pains and disease such as Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain Syndrome that I deal with. I have learned what medications work or don't work for me due to trial and error. I have a huge list of meds that I have a bad reaction to. 

Another thing I do is when I'm in intense pain, I tend to keep to myself and try to rest and take care of me. I fought doing that for years but when the pain and symptoms became worse, I realized that I need to take care of me, speak up, and be an advocate for me,  because no one else will do it.

There are days that I'm not smiling but I try to keep my spirit and emotions up by watching funny videos on U-tube, spending time with friends in person, on the phone, or even on Facebook and finding humor in my pain or brain fog I get a lot.Yet the most important thing I have is my faith in God in whom I lean on for daily strength. Without Him, I would be way worse off then I am now. I can't say it's been easy or the road I've traveled was great. There were times I was mad at God for not healing me but I've learned that He is using all this pain I go through so I can identify and encourage others who are dealing with major health issues, as well. So for that, I am grateful.

Scriptures on pain and suffering

Here are some scriptures on pain and suffering that my church used in their daily devotion this week.

Christ suffers when we suffer. He knows our pains and stressors.

"In all their distress He too was distressed, and the angel of His presence saved them. In His love and mercy He redeemed them; He LIFTED them up and CARRIED them all the days of old. "Isaiah 63:9

"Record my lament (deep sorrow or cry); list my tears on your scroll -- are they not in your record." Psalms 56:8

"We are hard pressed on every side but NOT crushed; perplexed, but NOT in despair, persecuted, but NOT abandoned; struck down, but NOT destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body." 2 Corinthians 4: 8-10

"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange was happening to you. But REJOICE that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be OVERJOYED WHEN HIS GLORY IS REVEALED."    1 Peter 4:12-13

Happy Easter

Man made water fountains,
Buildings and towers.

God created huge mountains,
Oceans and flowers.

Man made fruit pie with flaky crust,
Steeples, and a baby crib.

God created man out of dust,
And woman from man's rib.

Man made I-pods, Tvs, smart phones,
Robots, planes, and extravagant cars.

God created blood and hardy bones,
Heaven, earth, and spectacular stars.

Man can appear so strong, confident and brave,
And be knowledgeable and do great works.

God is greater and has sent Jesus who does save
The world from sin and has some great perks.

Man can have a life filled with an amazing love,
Because God sent his Son to die on a cross many moons ago.

God's unconditional grace was poured from above
Just accept Christ, confess your sins, and there is nothing you owe.

Man can be guided (by God), through a process and blossom, 
and be strengthened by Him every day.

God will commune with you on earth and in Heaven. That's awesome!
And will be with you every step of the way.

Happy Easter 
March 27, 2016
2:16 am 

Psalms 23

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
     he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

***my interpretation***
The Lord is my king and guide. I will enjoy goodness all of my life. 
He makes me rest and be secured in a flourishing life.

He leads me to a resting place. 
He revives me and restores my soul; He guides me to his will to bring       honor to his name.

Even when I walk through difficult times that seems too hard to bear, I   will not fear evil for you are always with me; your guidance, correction, protection, and support, reassures me.

You provide for me even in the presence of my enemies;  you anoint my head with oil as an honored guest; my blessings overflow.

Blessings of goodness and love will pursue me all of my life,
And I will live in God presence forever. (Hallelujah!!!)

Affliction, AND Patience?

" LOVE must be sincere. HATE what is evil; CLING to what is good. BE DEVOTED to one another in love. HONOR one another above yourselves.  NEVER BE LACKING IN ZEAL but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. BE JOYFUL in hope, PATIENT in affliction, FAITHFUL in prayer.  SHARE with the Lord’s people who are in need. PRACTICE hospitality."

Romans 12:9-13

As I was reading this passage during my devotions for my church, I noticed that it says to be PATIENT IN AFFLICTION. Wow, that just sounds difficult. Not only do we deal with the affliction but we have to be patient in it too. Maybe we should be asking God for even more strength because patience can be hard work. I know I have to continually work at patience;  it doesn't come naturally for me.

Affliction alone can be time consuming, painful, exhausting....now add patience to it. It will either break us or make us into a better person. I think taking time to relax, breathe deeper, think of the other person first, prioritize what's important in life, and not be so rushed, may help us be more patient in our days. (I am speaking to myself as well).
May we strive to be patient in painful circumstances and/or when dealing with pain in our own body.

In the scripture above, it says:  "...but keep your spiritual  favor..."

Keep your spiritual intense, passionate feeling. Keep yourself in tune with God and don't be afraid to have a deep intimate connection with him where he knows all of your deep desires and where He can show you what He desires for you.

Living for God is a life long journey, thankfully it gets easier when we reach heaven.

There are Good Doctors

Kudos to my eye Dr today. As I signed in for my eye exam, the receptionist said that my benefits for my eye glasses won't be available until September (and today is only February).

Instead of wasting my money on my eye appointment, I canceled it and decided to come back in September. Well my ophthalmologist, who I have had for years, called my name. When I told him what happened, he knelt down beside me and asked if my eyes were ok.

He acknowledged that I have major eye problems and wanted to make sure that there weren't any new eye problems. (He knows of the floaters, the shadows, the optic atropy, and all the other eye problems I have, including that when I see things that it's like looking through a sheer curtain.  The doctors are baffled in this area and don't know how to fix it.  We discussed about how I had been tested by one of the best Kaiser eye specialists in southern California and they can't find anything wrong).

After we discussed that there's no cure for my eyes, he gave me a big smile and said that I was a special person. As I laughed, I told him that I know because that is what all my doctors say to me with all the great health issues I have.

This ophthalmologist made my day and I told him how grateful I was for taking the time to talk to me.  He could have just walked away when I canceled my appt, but he didn't. He truly showed me that he cared.

Thank you, God, for people who go out of their way, especially for people like me, who are "special." 

Pets are Great Companions

There is just something about hearing a purring cat or watching a dog's  tail wag that can put a smile on a person's face. Some even like to be licked in the face; but not I.
Petting our furry friends can lift our spirits. They tend to do funny things that makes us crack a smile.  I am a lover of those funny cat videos. I tend to watch them if I'm down or sad, at times. They will lift me up and make me want to laugh or smile.
There are even organizations who take therapy dogs into nursing homes to help cheer up the residents.

When a person doesn't have children, like myself, an animal can be more than just a pet. It becomes a baby, a fur baby. My cat, Buttons, who I had to put down a few months ago due to his failing health, was my baby. Then after he died, my place seemed so empty. I have stuff in my home like electronics,  books, art supplies to do my hobbies, etc...but it wasn't the same without Buttons.

It's been three months without him and I miss the little things he used to do like laying on the remote controls when I wanted to change the channel. Also he would lay on my cell phone when it were ringing. Sometimes I would miss a call from a friend because I couldn't get him off of the cell phone. I miss him on my Bible as I tried to turn the page and couldn't because he was laying on it. I also miss his different ways of saying meow.  He would say "magow" instead,  when he wanted something.  I miss that friend and companion, even though he was an animal.

I think pet companions are important especially for people who have physical pain. Soon, I will be adopting another furry friend who will become my fur baby. I can not wait for that day when I  will have another pet companion to fill my home.

I have Survived Much.

Life can sure have distasteful adventures at times. The last four months have been one fast roller coaster ride I wanted to get off of.  In October of 2015, I ended up going to urgent care because part of my leg went paralyzed. Turns out it was from major anxiety due to some stressful family situation that I was not handling properly in my life. I had no idea that my body could actually become paralyzed due to stress. I knew that anxiety is also a symptom of fibromyalgia, but I never wanted to admit it...I have to use techniques to lower the anxiety.

 

Also, I ended up gaining weight and having all sorts of new health issues and symptoms, due to the lovely gifts that I was presented with, due to my age.  And that wonderful doctor said I have abnormal perimenopause. Wow. When I deal with new health issues, it seems to always be abnormal for some reason. Doctors have told me that it might be because I have Fibromyalgia.  I should know better; why would this be any different? I ended up having to replace all of my clothes because nothing fit anymore.  I have been fortunate all my life and never have had to deal with gaining weight until now.  It's all because of, oh, what's it called again? Oh yes, perimenopause. Oh and I never knew what a true hot flash felt like until recently. Wow what a new adventure I'm having.....but I'll spare you the details on that subject. I know this article may be long, but please read it to the end.

 

For a year, I had to spoon feed my precious fur baby Buttons because he was acting like he couldn't see the food that was in his bowl. Yet when I put the food up to his mouth he would devour it like he was starving. I rearranged my schedule to always spoon feed him and make sure I had a cat sitter, if I wasn't home.  I even had to put a bowl of water up to his face for him to drink more. I knew he was getting older and was a ripe old age of 96 years, which is 20 years in human years, so I had to keep an eye on him.

 

In November, I was scheduled with an exterminator to spray my apartment. Dealing with fibromyalgia and other health issues, I had to try to pace myself as it took me three days to pack everything up and put a sheet over it all.  After they sprayed the kitchen, I had to spend another three days to unpack everything and put it all away. It took me a few days to recuperate. That weekend, the gas company came to check the gas pilot on my heater. They said it was producing carbon monoxide so they shut it off and red tagged my heater. Then the apartment office personnel had to get an outside company to install a new heater. I thought everything was great until I kept smelling gas from the new heater. I called the gas company again. The gas man said that whomever installed the heater, put in the wrong gas valve. They put in one for the "propane tank" instead of a regular gas valve. He red tagged my heater again after shutting it off. This time the supervisor of the company came to replace the gas valve to the proper one to make sure it was done right. I wanted to make sure it was accurate so the gas company tech came a third time and approved it.

 

Then I noticed Buttons wasn't eating or drinking enough. I thought maybe it had to do with the exterminator or the gas leak, although I did take him out of my apartment for both incidents.  After a vet visit, I found out that he had chronic kidney disease, his kidneys and liver were shutting down, plus his bone marrow was suppressed, amongst other things. I ended up having to put him down because I didn't want him to suffer any more. That was very hard because I love him so much.  He was my fur baby and pet companion. He was the one that was near me when I was in intense pain and comforted me often. He left a paw print on my heart. (After he died, I wanted to give myself a chance to grieve before getting another pet companion even though a couple of my friends wanted to give me a cat. I was grieving lots and couldn't think of having another pet at the moment).

 

On December 2, there was a terrorist attack that was in a nearby city. I was supposed to go to two doctor appts that day, but fear gripped me so much that I didn't want to leave my place. I couldn't go near the horrendous incident, although, I did make myself go for a walk the next day. Three days later,  I was grieving from losing Buttons and had anxiety over the massive shooting, so I thought I should adopt a cat to help calm me down. I have always wanted to adopt a cat from the animal shelter. When I was there, this loving cat who I named Gracie kept purring when I held her. That's when Gracie, my new pet companion, entered my life. She helped ease the fear and anxiety I was having and gave me something to keep me busy.

 

I didn't realize it until later, but I was itching all over my body since I got Gracie. Turns out she was diagnosed with sarcoptic mange, intestinal parasites, respiratory infection, and more....plus ringworm later. So guess what?  What I thought were flea bites on me, were actually scabies that I got from the cat. Gracie had to be isolated and we both had to be treated, including my whole apartment. I had to put everything in plastic bags for a week to ten days. After going to the doctor due to 2 spots that didn't heal from the scabies, I found out I also had ringworm due to the cat.  What a mess!!

 

During that time, the bank contacted me due to a fraudulent charge so I had to get a new credit card and they put my account on hold for a week. Thankfully I already did my Christmas shopping. When I was getting over all of this, we ended up having a major gas leak in my apartment on the third floor. My adrenaline took over and I called the gas company and was instructed to have the third level residents evacuated. It was so thick and I have a sensitive system in my body that I had to get fresh air or I was going to pass out. I felt nauseated and lightheaded yet I got Gracie, my cat, to the first floor and then try to tell everyone on my floor to evacuate. It turned out to be one major gas leak in one of my friend's apartments. It's actually a miracle that she is alive.

 

I was trying to fight for Gracie's life that was full of health issues. I knew if we took her back to the animal shelter, she would be put down. I didn't want that to happen, yet I couldn't handle the 5 medications a day, at different times a day, and the cleaning up after her sickness, etc... plus all the care I had to encounter over my own chronic health issues.  It was too much for me to bear; and I was so worn out. I felt bad but I had to give her to someone who could take care of her with all her health issues. And yes, I made sure my friend knew all the health issues and medications that Gracie was on before she took her into her home.

 

I ended up getting treatment for ringworm, had to bleach my bathroom where Gracie was isolated, had to disinfect my whole apartment again, steam cleaned the carpets with tea tree oil to kill all mites and ringworm, and wash all dirty and clean clothes, linens, pillows, throw rugs, jackets, etc.. in tea tree oil. Thankfully a couple of friends helped me at the laundry mat or it would have been even a longer ordeal.

 

I finally have put all my belongings away, reorganized my place, and am getting my life back to normal. I probably have the cleanest, most disinfectant apartment there is.  I am no longer contagious...yay me. I have dealt with a lot but I keep telling myself it could have been worse. I have grown from these losses and crazy happenings in my life. It was not (and is not) easy going through all that I went through but I have had to keep leaning on God through the process. I also learned  that when I was disinfecting my place and washing all the loads of laundry, that it is just "stuff" and do I really need it all?  I ended up letting go of things. I had too much and sometimes it's time to just let things go. (Now I have that song in my head "Let it Go" from the animated  movie Frozen). 

 

I have done a lot of grieving lately. Not only did I have to say goodbye to Buttons, but I have known 12 people and a friend's animal have died in the past two years. I could only get myself to go to a few of the funerals/memorials because it was too much for me. The hardest was having to let my fur baby Buttons go. I still cry because he was very special to me. I have to picture, in my mind, those 12 people and two animals in Heaven. It's what gets me through it, besides God's strength....I am still looking forward to that big reunion in Heaven where I will see them all, face to face again. Boy, I can't wait to go to Heaven; it is going to be one big family reunion, for me. And for the near future, I'm looking forward to getting a pet companion..
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Strengthened by an Angel

Jesus knows what it feels like when friends don't understand the sorrow, loneliness, or anguish you may be feeling.  He also knows what it is like to have the need to be strengthened too.

You may be dealing with some hard times of pain or sorrow, yet realize God hears your cries and prayers.  When Jesus was in deep despair, his friends nor family encouraged him, nor did they quite understand what he dealt with when He was about to endure the crucifixion process.  God sent an angel to strengthen and minister to him while he was on this earth. Even though he was God, he was fully man on this earth and needed extra help.

“...Father (God) if you are willing, take this cup from me (Jesus); yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him."  Luke 22:39-43 (NIV)

"Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him."
Matthew 4:11

May an angel strengthen, minister, and attend to you today.  

Are You Angry at God? Because of Pain?

Are you in intense pain or have a debilitating illness, disease, or even cancer? Did you reach out to God for him to heal you? Are you so angry at God for not taking it away?

You may have reached out, cried, begged, pleaded, demanded for God to take it away, but He didn't. I have been there, where I went through that with God and then I felt guilty for being angry at God. A couple of years ago, someone told me: "its okay to be angry at God. What, you don't think He can handle it?"

God can handle it!  Its okay to be angry and hurt, for a season. The anger is probably derived from hurt.  You might have felt like God didn't care enough about you to heal you or maybe you felt abandoned or alone.  It's possible that the symptoms or pain felt too big to handle. You may be grieving the life you once knew: the good health, being able to juggle family, employment, good health, great social life, volunteering, or anything else that is a part of a normal every day life.

I was injured at work over 20 years ago where a 20 lb box fell on my head. It changed my life. I went from working full time, with great health, was taking classes at a nearby college, attending and volunteering at my church, and going out with my friends all the time, etc...to a life that was the opposite. I was not able to work like I wanted and was going to never-ending doctor's appts because of the tremendous health issues, debilitating pain, and symptoms that accumulated. I couldn't handle being around a lot of everyday sounds because they sounded like sirens blasting in my ears, couldn't go outside a lot because my body temperature changed to being extra sensitive to heat and cold, and my social life plummeted. So my life felt hopeless and useless especially because I wanted to do so much and couldn't. I saw my friends building families, careers, and a life I wanted. I felt so alone, abandoned by God, and I grieved for many years.

My life is not what I wanted it to be but because of all that I went through and still go through, God changed me. I now am able to identify with a lot of people who go through tons of pain, encourage people all over the world through Facebook and the internet. God has given me a desire and talent to be an artist and has given me peace and joy through the pain. It's a distraction from all the health issues I deal with in my body.

God never promised to take us out of the pain, but walk with us, THROUGH it. He knows what you are going through. He has heard your prayers, seen your tears. Something new might be birthed because of the hard times that you go through. You may not see it now, but God may use you THROUGH the pain. It could be a desire to help people build a new organization to meet people's needs, donate time or money to a charity in another country or down the street, write a book, pray for the hurting people, write letters to disabled vets, make quilts for sick children in hospitals, etc....the opportunities are endless.

Remember that when the pain is so hard, sometimes all you can do is look to God for strength. I cling on to Him everyday for His strength. May you do the same.
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