Adventures of Venice Beach in CA

There are a lot of interesting characters that made me laugh a lot, or was it the great weather, hanging with my friend, or enjoying this variety of culture and adventure. This day was fun and yet interesting at the same time....

After about ten minutes of our arrival to the boardwalk which was filled of various shops and vendors, there was a guy trying to lure me into his shop for some "marijuana" that he sold. I declined yet marijuana filled different parts of the boardwalk. I hope there are no affects from 2nd hand smoke of marijuana lol...otherwise I'm in trouble. 

It was so cool watching a guy sing and play his guitar while he was riding his bike.  There was another guy in some creative skates rolling down the boardwalk also playing his own guitar. That was another intriguing moments. Then there were probably 10 temporary tattoo vendors, many unusual and funny shirt shops, and some crude that I didn't like. I enjoyed watching some musical artists including an average looking lady playing a piano that she somehow dragged in for the day.

I saw a guy riding his bike with a platform for his dogs who were sitting right above the front tire. Those dog were so relaxed There were blue haired people, dread locks on white boy's heads, and dogs galore, not to mention the long albino snake on a guy's shoulders that we stayed away from.

There were unusual artistic talents to beautiful artwork pieces. One artist had a painting of a head with all sorts of scenes in that painting. It was amazing.  There were a few musical artists that were passing out free cds of their raegae music and then the next thing you know is you are donating money for a free c.d.

Then there was a freak show about to start where people were paying to go inside to take pictures of the so- called freaks. I realized I couldn't go inside that place when I saw the employees who they considered freaks that were on the steps for advertisement. One lady didn't have any legs, another guy was a little person or what people consider midgets. Another person had basically grown a full beard all over his whole head. I couldn't go in because I knew I would cry due to my grown compassionate nature. I don't think those are freaks; they are people like you and me who have things that aren't the average person. I was thinking about how much God so loved them,

And yes everyone on the boardwalk was a person trying to live their lives in different ways. Some not as successful as others. There were homeless people trying to get a buck from ones passing by, some others may have been homeless but they were trying to sell a piece of themselves in their unusual artwork.

I took some pictures but my not-so smartphone deleted them all. I so wish I had the pictures I took of the huge beautiful waves crashing into the magnificent rocks. It was so breathtaking; God's masterpiece.

It was a great day, and yet I wonder if it somehow changed me....I feel more cultured.

A Little about Me

People have asked me how can I smile while dealing with a lot of health issues. It isn't always easy yet experiencing twenty- one years of chronic, intense pain, I have learned to use tools that are available to me. I have been in a chronic pain management program, been through tons of Counseling, and researched a lot about the pains and disease such as Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain Syndrome that I deal with. I have learned what medications work or don't work for me due to trial and error. I have a huge list of meds that I have a bad reaction to. 

Another thing I do is when I'm in intense pain, I tend to keep to myself and try to rest and take care of me. I fought doing that for years but when the pain and symptoms became worse, I realized that I need to take care of me, speak up, and be an advocate for me,  because no one else will do it.

There are days that I'm not smiling but I try to keep my spirit and emotions up by watching funny videos on U-tube, spending time with friends in person, on the phone, or even on Facebook and finding humor in my pain or brain fog I get a lot.Yet the most important thing I have is my faith in God in whom I lean on for daily strength. Without Him, I would be way worse off then I am now. I can't say it's been easy or the road I've traveled was great. There were times I was mad at God for not healing me but I've learned that He is using all this pain I go through so I can identify and encourage others who are dealing with major health issues, as well. So for that, I am grateful.

Scriptures on pain and suffering

Here are some scriptures on pain and suffering that my church used in their daily devotion this week.

Christ suffers when we suffer. He knows our pains and stressors.

"In all their distress He too was distressed, and the angel of His presence saved them. In His love and mercy He redeemed them; He LIFTED them up and CARRIED them all the days of old. "Isaiah 63:9

"Record my lament (deep sorrow or cry); list my tears on your scroll -- are they not in your record." Psalms 56:8

"We are hard pressed on every side but NOT crushed; perplexed, but NOT in despair, persecuted, but NOT abandoned; struck down, but NOT destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body." 2 Corinthians 4: 8-10

"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange was happening to you. But REJOICE that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be OVERJOYED WHEN HIS GLORY IS REVEALED."    1 Peter 4:12-13

Happy Easter

Man made water fountains,
Buildings and towers.

God created huge mountains,
Oceans and flowers.

Man made fruit pie with flaky crust,
Steeples, and a baby crib.

God created man out of dust,
And woman from man's rib.

Man made I-pods, Tvs, smart phones,
Robots, planes, and extravagant cars.

God created blood and hardy bones,
Heaven, earth, and spectacular stars.

Man can appear so strong, confident and brave,
And be knowledgeable and do great works.

God is greater and has sent Jesus who does save
The world from sin and has some great perks.

Man can have a life filled with an amazing love,
Because God sent his Son to die on a cross many moons ago.

God's unconditional grace was poured from above
Just accept Christ, confess your sins, and there is nothing you owe.

Man can be guided (by God), through a process and blossom, 
and be strengthened by Him every day.

God will commune with you on earth and in Heaven. That's awesome!
And will be with you every step of the way.

Happy Easter 
March 27, 2016
2:16 am 

Psalms 23

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
     he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

***my interpretation***
The Lord is my king and guide. I will enjoy goodness all of my life. 
He makes me rest and be secured in a flourishing life.

He leads me to a resting place. 
He revives me and restores my soul; He guides me to his will to bring       honor to his name.

Even when I walk through difficult times that seems too hard to bear, I   will not fear evil for you are always with me; your guidance, correction, protection, and support, reassures me.

You provide for me even in the presence of my enemies;  you anoint my head with oil as an honored guest; my blessings overflow.

Blessings of goodness and love will pursue me all of my life,
And I will live in God presence forever. (Hallelujah!!!)

Affliction, AND Patience?

" LOVE must be sincere. HATE what is evil; CLING to what is good. BE DEVOTED to one another in love. HONOR one another above yourselves.  NEVER BE LACKING IN ZEAL but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. BE JOYFUL in hope, PATIENT in affliction, FAITHFUL in prayer.  SHARE with the Lord’s people who are in need. PRACTICE hospitality."

Romans 12:9-13

As I was reading this passage during my devotions for my church, I noticed that it says to be PATIENT IN AFFLICTION. Wow, that just sounds difficult. Not only do we deal with the affliction but we have to be patient in it too. Maybe we should be asking God for even more strength because patience can be hard work. I know I have to continually work at patience;  it doesn't come naturally for me.

Affliction alone can be time consuming, painful, exhausting....now add patience to it. It will either break us or make us into a better person. I think taking time to relax, breathe deeper, think of the other person first, prioritize what's important in life, and not be so rushed, may help us be more patient in our days. (I am speaking to myself as well).
May we strive to be patient in painful circumstances and/or when dealing with pain in our own body.

In the scripture above, it says:  "...but keep your spiritual  favor..."

Keep your spiritual intense, passionate feeling. Keep yourself in tune with God and don't be afraid to have a deep intimate connection with him where he knows all of your deep desires and where He can show you what He desires for you.

Living for God is a life long journey, thankfully it gets easier when we reach heaven.

There are Good Doctors

Kudos to my eye Dr today. As I signed in for my eye exam, the receptionist said that my benefits for my eye glasses won't be available until September (and today is only February).

Instead of wasting my money on my eye appointment, I canceled it and decided to come back in September. Well my ophthalmologist, who I have had for years, called my name. When I told him what happened, he knelt down beside me and asked if my eyes were ok.

He acknowledged that I have major eye problems and wanted to make sure that there weren't any new eye problems. (He knows of the floaters, the shadows, the optic atropy, and all the other eye problems I have, including that when I see things that it's like looking through a sheer curtain.  The doctors are baffled in this area and don't know how to fix it.  We discussed about how I had been tested by one of the best Kaiser eye specialists in southern California and they can't find anything wrong).

After we discussed that there's no cure for my eyes, he gave me a big smile and said that I was a special person. As I laughed, I told him that I know because that is what all my doctors say to me with all the great health issues I have.

This ophthalmologist made my day and I told him how grateful I was for taking the time to talk to me.  He could have just walked away when I canceled my appt, but he didn't. He truly showed me that he cared.

Thank you, God, for people who go out of their way, especially for people like me, who are "special." 

Pets are Great Companions

There is just something about hearing a purring cat or watching a dog's  tail wag that can put a smile on a person's face. Some even like to be licked in the face; but not I.
Petting our furry friends can lift our spirits. They tend to do funny things that makes us crack a smile.  I am a lover of those funny cat videos. I tend to watch them if I'm down or sad, at times. They will lift me up and make me want to laugh or smile.
There are even organizations who take therapy dogs into nursing homes to help cheer up the residents.

When a person doesn't have children, like myself, an animal can be more than just a pet. It becomes a baby, a fur baby. My cat, Buttons, who I had to put down a few months ago due to his failing health, was my baby. Then after he died, my place seemed so empty. I have stuff in my home like electronics,  books, art supplies to do my hobbies, etc...but it wasn't the same without Buttons.

It's been three months without him and I miss the little things he used to do like laying on the remote controls when I wanted to change the channel. Also he would lay on my cell phone when it were ringing. Sometimes I would miss a call from a friend because I couldn't get him off of the cell phone. I miss him on my Bible as I tried to turn the page and couldn't because he was laying on it. I also miss his different ways of saying meow.  He would say "magow" instead,  when he wanted something.  I miss that friend and companion, even though he was an animal.

I think pet companions are important especially for people who have physical pain. Soon, I will be adopting another furry friend who will become my fur baby. I can not wait for that day when I  will have another pet companion to fill my home.

I have Survived Much.

Life can sure have distasteful adventures at times. The last four months have been one fast roller coaster ride I wanted to get off of.  In October of 2015, I ended up going to urgent care because part of my leg went paralyzed. Turns out it was from major anxiety due to some stressful family situation that I was not handling properly in my life. I had no idea that my body could actually become paralyzed due to stress. I knew that anxiety is also a symptom of fibromyalgia, but I never wanted to admit it...I have to use techniques to lower the anxiety.

 

Also, I ended up gaining weight and having all sorts of new health issues and symptoms, due to the lovely gifts that I was presented with, due to my age.  And that wonderful doctor said I have abnormal perimenopause. Wow. When I deal with new health issues, it seems to always be abnormal for some reason. Doctors have told me that it might be because I have Fibromyalgia.  I should know better; why would this be any different? I ended up having to replace all of my clothes because nothing fit anymore.  I have been fortunate all my life and never have had to deal with gaining weight until now.  It's all because of, oh, what's it called again? Oh yes, perimenopause. Oh and I never knew what a true hot flash felt like until recently. Wow what a new adventure I'm having.....but I'll spare you the details on that subject. I know this article may be long, but please read it to the end.

 

For a year, I had to spoon feed my precious fur baby Buttons because he was acting like he couldn't see the food that was in his bowl. Yet when I put the food up to his mouth he would devour it like he was starving. I rearranged my schedule to always spoon feed him and make sure I had a cat sitter, if I wasn't home.  I even had to put a bowl of water up to his face for him to drink more. I knew he was getting older and was a ripe old age of 96 years, which is 20 years in human years, so I had to keep an eye on him.

 

In November, I was scheduled with an exterminator to spray my apartment. Dealing with fibromyalgia and other health issues, I had to try to pace myself as it took me three days to pack everything up and put a sheet over it all.  After they sprayed the kitchen, I had to spend another three days to unpack everything and put it all away. It took me a few days to recuperate. That weekend, the gas company came to check the gas pilot on my heater. They said it was producing carbon monoxide so they shut it off and red tagged my heater. Then the apartment office personnel had to get an outside company to install a new heater. I thought everything was great until I kept smelling gas from the new heater. I called the gas company again. The gas man said that whomever installed the heater, put in the wrong gas valve. They put in one for the "propane tank" instead of a regular gas valve. He red tagged my heater again after shutting it off. This time the supervisor of the company came to replace the gas valve to the proper one to make sure it was done right. I wanted to make sure it was accurate so the gas company tech came a third time and approved it.

 

Then I noticed Buttons wasn't eating or drinking enough. I thought maybe it had to do with the exterminator or the gas leak, although I did take him out of my apartment for both incidents.  After a vet visit, I found out that he had chronic kidney disease, his kidneys and liver were shutting down, plus his bone marrow was suppressed, amongst other things. I ended up having to put him down because I didn't want him to suffer any more. That was very hard because I love him so much.  He was my fur baby and pet companion. He was the one that was near me when I was in intense pain and comforted me often. He left a paw print on my heart. (After he died, I wanted to give myself a chance to grieve before getting another pet companion even though a couple of my friends wanted to give me a cat. I was grieving lots and couldn't think of having another pet at the moment).

 

On December 2, there was a terrorist attack that was in a nearby city. I was supposed to go to two doctor appts that day, but fear gripped me so much that I didn't want to leave my place. I couldn't go near the horrendous incident, although, I did make myself go for a walk the next day. Three days later,  I was grieving from losing Buttons and had anxiety over the massive shooting, so I thought I should adopt a cat to help calm me down. I have always wanted to adopt a cat from the animal shelter. When I was there, this loving cat who I named Gracie kept purring when I held her. That's when Gracie, my new pet companion, entered my life. She helped ease the fear and anxiety I was having and gave me something to keep me busy.

 

I didn't realize it until later, but I was itching all over my body since I got Gracie. Turns out she was diagnosed with sarcoptic mange, intestinal parasites, respiratory infection, and more....plus ringworm later. So guess what?  What I thought were flea bites on me, were actually scabies that I got from the cat. Gracie had to be isolated and we both had to be treated, including my whole apartment. I had to put everything in plastic bags for a week to ten days. After going to the doctor due to 2 spots that didn't heal from the scabies, I found out I also had ringworm due to the cat.  What a mess!!

 

During that time, the bank contacted me due to a fraudulent charge so I had to get a new credit card and they put my account on hold for a week. Thankfully I already did my Christmas shopping. When I was getting over all of this, we ended up having a major gas leak in my apartment on the third floor. My adrenaline took over and I called the gas company and was instructed to have the third level residents evacuated. It was so thick and I have a sensitive system in my body that I had to get fresh air or I was going to pass out. I felt nauseated and lightheaded yet I got Gracie, my cat, to the first floor and then try to tell everyone on my floor to evacuate. It turned out to be one major gas leak in one of my friend's apartments. It's actually a miracle that she is alive.

 

I was trying to fight for Gracie's life that was full of health issues. I knew if we took her back to the animal shelter, she would be put down. I didn't want that to happen, yet I couldn't handle the 5 medications a day, at different times a day, and the cleaning up after her sickness, etc... plus all the care I had to encounter over my own chronic health issues.  It was too much for me to bear; and I was so worn out. I felt bad but I had to give her to someone who could take care of her with all her health issues. And yes, I made sure my friend knew all the health issues and medications that Gracie was on before she took her into her home.

 

I ended up getting treatment for ringworm, had to bleach my bathroom where Gracie was isolated, had to disinfect my whole apartment again, steam cleaned the carpets with tea tree oil to kill all mites and ringworm, and wash all dirty and clean clothes, linens, pillows, throw rugs, jackets, etc.. in tea tree oil. Thankfully a couple of friends helped me at the laundry mat or it would have been even a longer ordeal.

 

I finally have put all my belongings away, reorganized my place, and am getting my life back to normal. I probably have the cleanest, most disinfectant apartment there is.  I am no longer contagious...yay me. I have dealt with a lot but I keep telling myself it could have been worse. I have grown from these losses and crazy happenings in my life. It was not (and is not) easy going through all that I went through but I have had to keep leaning on God through the process. I also learned  that when I was disinfecting my place and washing all the loads of laundry, that it is just "stuff" and do I really need it all?  I ended up letting go of things. I had too much and sometimes it's time to just let things go. (Now I have that song in my head "Let it Go" from the animated  movie Frozen). 

 

I have done a lot of grieving lately. Not only did I have to say goodbye to Buttons, but I have known 12 people and a friend's animal have died in the past two years. I could only get myself to go to a few of the funerals/memorials because it was too much for me. The hardest was having to let my fur baby Buttons go. I still cry because he was very special to me. I have to picture, in my mind, those 12 people and two animals in Heaven. It's what gets me through it, besides God's strength....I am still looking forward to that big reunion in Heaven where I will see them all, face to face again. Boy, I can't wait to go to Heaven; it is going to be one big family reunion, for me. And for the near future, I'm looking forward to getting a pet companion..
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Strengthened by an Angel

Jesus knows what it feels like when friends don't understand the sorrow, loneliness, or anguish you may be feeling.  He also knows what it is like to have the need to be strengthened too.

You may be dealing with some hard times of pain or sorrow, yet realize God hears your cries and prayers.  When Jesus was in deep despair, his friends nor family encouraged him, nor did they quite understand what he dealt with when He was about to endure the crucifixion process.  God sent an angel to strengthen and minister to him while he was on this earth. Even though he was God, he was fully man on this earth and needed extra help.

“...Father (God) if you are willing, take this cup from me (Jesus); yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him."  Luke 22:39-43 (NIV)

"Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him."
Matthew 4:11

May an angel strengthen, minister, and attend to you today.  

Are You Angry at God? Because of Pain?

Are you in intense pain or have a debilitating illness, disease, or even cancer? Did you reach out to God for him to heal you? Are you so angry at God for not taking it away?

You may have reached out, cried, begged, pleaded, demanded for God to take it away, but He didn't. I have been there, where I went through that with God and then I felt guilty for being angry at God. A couple of years ago, someone told me: "its okay to be angry at God. What, you don't think He can handle it?"

God can handle it!  Its okay to be angry and hurt, for a season. The anger is probably derived from hurt.  You might have felt like God didn't care enough about you to heal you or maybe you felt abandoned or alone.  It's possible that the symptoms or pain felt too big to handle. You may be grieving the life you once knew: the good health, being able to juggle family, employment, good health, great social life, volunteering, or anything else that is a part of a normal every day life.

I was injured at work over 20 years ago where a 20 lb box fell on my head. It changed my life. I went from working full time, with great health, was taking classes at a nearby college, attending and volunteering at my church, and going out with my friends all the time, etc...to a life that was the opposite. I was not able to work like I wanted and was going to never-ending doctor's appts because of the tremendous health issues, debilitating pain, and symptoms that accumulated. I couldn't handle being around a lot of everyday sounds because they sounded like sirens blasting in my ears, couldn't go outside a lot because my body temperature changed to being extra sensitive to heat and cold, and my social life plummeted. So my life felt hopeless and useless especially because I wanted to do so much and couldn't. I saw my friends building families, careers, and a life I wanted. I felt so alone, abandoned by God, and I grieved for many years.

My life is not what I wanted it to be but because of all that I went through and still go through, God changed me. I now am able to identify with a lot of people who go through tons of pain, encourage people all over the world through Facebook and the internet. God has given me a desire and talent to be an artist and has given me peace and joy through the pain. It's a distraction from all the health issues I deal with in my body.

God never promised to take us out of the pain, but walk with us, THROUGH it. He knows what you are going through. He has heard your prayers, seen your tears. Something new might be birthed because of the hard times that you go through. You may not see it now, but God may use you THROUGH the pain. It could be a desire to help people build a new organization to meet people's needs, donate time or money to a charity in another country or down the street, write a book, pray for the hurting people, write letters to disabled vets, make quilts for sick children in hospitals, etc....the opportunities are endless.

Remember that when the pain is so hard, sometimes all you can do is look to God for strength. I cling on to Him everyday for His strength. May you do the same.
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Add Comments to my Blog

I have had Blogspot.com since 2007 and it used to allow people to comment with various webpages, their name, or be anonymous. Then within the last few years, they changed it to only allow Google account users to comment on the blog. It took about a year of me researching online to make a broader comment section.  I finally found a simple code that works for now.
<b:include data='post' name='comment-form'/>.After working with it another 3 hours today, it now allows people to comment using:
Google
Live Journal
Wordpress
TypePad
Aim
OpenID
or you can add your own name (and/or website) or even be Anonymous.

I still haven't figured out how to get the google comment section completely off without it not posting all the comments. When I take out the codes for the google comment form, it tells me people have posted but it doesn't show it on the page...So if you know how to do that let me know.
Also I noticed when I view this webpage on my smartphone, it somehow didn't show the comment section, so I had to change it back to the website view.

When making a comment: make sure you are on the full page. You may need to click on the title of the article (or post) so you are on the full page....

In a few seconds, you will then see the comment section a little after the article.

Look where it says: "Post a Comment." 
Type your comment in the box below it, where it states "enter your comment".

Click on the drop box where it says:  "Comment as." Then click on the one that you want to use and it will then direct you from there. Don't forget to click on publish when you are done. Thank you so much.

One exhausted and excited blogger,
yes, that's me.

F.I.B.R.O.M.Y.A.L.G.I.A

Fully

Invisible illness where the

Body feels

Rejected in its on skin on an

Ongoing basis.

Men and women are

Yearning for relief, understanding

And even

Love, so they don't

Give up due to the

Intense pain, horrible symptoms,

And all the struggles of fibro.



Fibromyalgia is real. Don't give up. You can find help through doctors, chronic pain management programs, support groups, counseling, resources, such as, books on fibro and more.

Read more articles on dealing with pain at www.teensytidbits.blogspot.com  

Come to Me

I was calling my cat, Buttons, to come to me.  I called his name several times,  even vocalized some meow words, but he wouldn't come.  As I walked over to him,  I kept thinking,  how stubborn my cat can be.

Then God, with a quiet voice, asked me the same thing. Why don't I come to Him when He calls my name?

Pain is No Respecter of Persons

Pain is no respecter of persons. It knows no boundaries. It plays no favorites. Pain doesn't care about religion, nationality, age, culture, what size or shape you are, or what continent you live on. A person may not have done anything for the Pain to grip their body.

Debilitating chronic pain can make you grieve the life you once had, like employment, more physical abilities, energy and strength; good health, bigger social life, and much more.

A good support team including, family and friends, is vital to the person's emotional well-being, especially at this time.

Pain can attack at any time of your life and may stay for a season or the rest of your life on earth. Some people turn to drugs, alcohol, and even overeating, while others turn to God or some other higher power they look to. Some receive healing from God, yet some don't. When they ask for a healing and haven't received one, some turn away from God because of the intense pain and rejection they feel. Yet little do they know, that God is by their side, holding their hand and going with them, through the pain.

If you are one of these, don't give up...there will come a time when the emotional pain that you deal with, won't be as strong as the physical pain. God does love you and He can give you strength through the pain. Believe me, I know, because I deal with tremendous pain with a roller coaster of symptoms, daily. I know what its like to struggle, and lose the life I once had. I grieved for years over not being able to do what I once could, or be who I used to be. I had to discover the new me. It was very challenging, but through God's love and strength, I conquered it. This isn't the life I requested, but it's the life I have now. I can be more damaging to my emotions or I can make the best of it. For me, I found my purpose is to help encourage others through the pain they endure.

It's okay to grieve your losses, but then find out your purpose in this life. 

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus"

Pain verses People who Don't Understand

To all of you who have been hurt by others because of the words they say about your health issues and pain, I apologize on your behalf....

To all of you who have been hurt even by people in church, I apologize on your behalf, as well...

I know this may be a touchy subject, but I think I should talk about it. So many people say things, even in the church, that they think are being helpful and can make a person actually feel awful. 

Try to remember that they are human too, and make mistakes. I know that's easier said, then done.

I have been in chronic pain for over 20 years after a head injury and have gained other major heath issues like Fibromyalgia. I know what it's like to be in a public setting, and even in church, where people have said things to me that brought me to tears.

I have probably heard it all (from people I know): "-If you pray more, you will be healed; -Don't talk about your pain, you are given light to  something negative. -Don't talk negative. -Focus on others who are worse off than you. -If you exercise more, or take this medicine, etc....your pain will be gone. -Don't claim it (your health issues). -You must have some hidden sin in your life. -I am healed of my pain, so you should do what I have done to be healed." Then there is my favorite from a TV evangelist, "if you send $2000, God will heal you." No, I didn't send the money.

Now when I sit back and think about all the things that were hurtful, I can smile. Nowhere in the Bible are any of those listed as a definite healing.  Yes we need to be faithful, yes there is a time and place for talking about our pains or health issues....but just because we aren't healed, doesn't mean we are less of a person, or even less of a Christian.

I have even had a person (who wasn't a close friend) say some of these things listed above, to me, then a year later she was diagnosed with cancer and ended up dying. When she told me she was going through radiation treatment, I so wanted to tell her what she told me: "don't claim it (the cancer)," but I bit my tongue and was respectful.

If there is anyone who has given up on God or the church because of what people said to you about your health condition, please reconsider God's love for you. I don't always understand why He doesn't heal a lot of people like they did in the Bible days. But I do know that God gives me strength each day. He helps me through it and even provides other resources. It took a lot of guidance, counseling, reading books, crying out to God, researching my health issues,  support groups, chronic pain management, and having a support team of friends and mentors to get to where I am today.

It's ok to talk about your pain. It's even ok, if you are not healed. Pray for a healing, but realize God may say no. He may use your pain for something special. I understand the meaning of me not being healed, it's because I can help others.  If I didn't have the tremendous pain, health issues, and symptoms that I deal with, I wouldn't have any idea what other people, who are in pain, deal with. So for that, I'm grateful.

(((( I know that the greatest healing is in Heaven where there is no more sickness, sadness, or pain. Yes, I look for that day, for eternity ,without pain.))))

Are you Dealing with Pain

 
If you're in chronic pain, have you been hurt by others, especially people in church?  Have you heard things like these?:

"-Don't talk about your pain. 
-Don't talk negatively. Be more positive.
-You're not healed because you don't have enough faith.
-Don't give light to your illness, disease, or pain.
-You must have done something bad or have great sin in your life. Deal with it and God will heal you.
-Don't claim your illness, disease, or pain.
-Don't say it's 'your' pain.
-God healed me, so I know He will heal you.
-You need to exercise, eat better, and take vitamins, supplements, etc. ..and the illness will go away.
-etc..."

When you hear these things, it can really hurt and stab your spirit. I know,  all of those things I have heard.  These aren't appropriate ways to talk to a person who's in pain. People need to be encouraged, not put down.

I have never heard a sermon quite like the one I heard on Sunday.  Pastor Dan talks about adversity and dealing with pain. He exbounds on how Paul, in the Bible, wasn't healed. And how God used him in his pain.

Please listen to the sermon below. May it encourage  and uplift you, as it did me. Click on the link to hear about "How Do You Deal With Adversity? Part 2"
http://subspla.sh/14f2246

2 Corinthians  12  :  7-9   (NIV)
"... Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.  Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."

A tribute to Roy Vasquez

I have great memories of Roy. He was my neighbor for several years. It all started from when he invited me to the prayer meetings on Tuesday nights at First Assembly of God on Mountain View Ave in 1999. I was helping Jon L. with the office work for the youth group on Tuesday Mornings. Roy said if I would stay for prayer, he would buy me some tacos.  When he came back to the church,  we talked in the foyer and he presented me with two tacos for me and two for him that he bought at Jack in the Box. I was thankful for the tacos, but those were the greasiest tacos.  Yet he loved eating them which made me laugh.

There were times that I would bring my lunch and eat it on the stairs outside of the church that were located on the side building.  Roy and Woody would walk by because they were always working around the church.  One time they saw me eating cucumbers along with my lunch . They each laughed and told me that what I was eating was rabbit food and I need to eat bigger meals. (I was trying to eat healthy meals).

I would laugh when Roy would talk about his lunch. Before he was married,  he often ate his so-called burritos. He would put any leftovers in a tortilla, including spaghetti, and call it a burrito.

Then there was this time that I poured my heart out to the members in the prayer meetings and tell them of the horrible physical pain I was going through. The next day, Roy told me that he could actually feel the pain that I was going through in my jaw for a few seconds that last night. He said God had him  experience it so he knew how to pray for me more. I don't want anyone to suffer like I do, but it meant so much to me that he did. I saw so much compassion and sympathy in my brother's eyes. 

I had this amazing dream in June of 2015, which was about seven months after he entered Heaven.  In my dream, I was at a retreat with a bunch of people I knew. We were waiting for the next session to start.  Then Roy stopped by to say hi.  He gave me the biggest brotherly hug (that I even felt when I awoke from my dream). I was trying to do a selfie picture with Roy, but everyone wanted a picture with him.  He began to tell us all the amazing miracles that happened in the inner city and how God used him so much. He saw his brother Bobby and then they started wrestling. It gave us all a chuckle.  We ended up doing a group photo but Roy kept picking up the remote control to take the picture and we had to show him that the newer cameras do selfie group shots.  And then I woke up from my dream.  I felt like my dear Brother Roy had just come to my home.  I still felt his hug when I woke up. Thank you God,  I needed that from my brother from another  mother,  as he would tell me.

I have great memories of my dear brother Roy and I cherish the time I knew him on this earth.  One day I will see all of my brother and sisters that went to Heaven before me and it will be a time of reminiscing about great memories we have with God and the people he brought in our lives here on earth.

Dreading Bedtime

I have a confession  to make. I dread going to bed every night.  The worst part of my physical  pain is in the middle of the night.

I have more energy between 8-10 pm. Then I have to get myself in the mode to go to bed. I don't want to. Yet I know I have to sleep to get recharged.

The sleepless nights,  the intense pain, the tossing and turning,  the lack of nice rest.  It is frustrating. It makes me to not want to go to bed for the night because when I wake up in the morning,  I'm not refreshed;  I'm recovering from an intense painful night. I wake up with low energy and a stiff body that can barely walk to the bathroom, let alone eat. Eating is another story because I have bad reactions to food.  So yes I do dread going to bed at night......and every day and  night,  I go through the same thing.  This pain is no fun.

It usually takes 2-3 hours to recover after getting up.   Yet hopefully  it will get better someday.    When I can't sleep I have done different things to relax me like praying, doing word search puzzles, or thinking of good memories. Sometimes my creative writing talent kicks in and I think of something I can write on my blog, or how I can encourage ones in the fibromyalgia group I lead on face book, or I go on Facebook and browse with the screen's brightness really low which usually sleep doctors say is a bad idea. Yet when you can't sleep, sometimes it can feel like whole world is asleep but yourself,

I do write these posts to those going through debilitating pain, to say,  you are not alone.  I understand.

(If you have fibromyalgia, you can join support group, go to the home page of this blog)

www.teensytidbits.blogspot.com

What was I Doing?

I seem to be doing things like this more often.  I start one task, and while I'm doing that task, I start another task, then another task, and eventually I forget what I first started.

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The other day, I put two of my plants on my kitchen table to add plant food to them. I measured the right amount and added them to these plants. Okay two down, and 5 more to go...

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I then noticed that dry leaves were on the carpet, so I grabbed the vacuum cleaner and pulled out the glass plant table and vacuumed the leaves. I put the vacuum cleaner to the side...

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I look up and there is a cobweb on the ceiling over the plant table. I grab the broom from my kitchen and take down the cobwebs that are in the living room. I put the broom aside...

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I glance down and I see that the indoor windowsill is dusty, so I clean that up...

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I view behind the TV console that is adjacent the plant table stand, and it has a few dead leaves and dust behind it, too. I get the pledge out to clean that up.  I put the broom aside...

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I then observe the mess that I just created. I have 2 plants on the kitchen table, a vacuum nearby, the broom is propped up against the recliner, the dust rags and pledge is on the floor, and the plant stand full of other plants is not in it's regular spot...Wait, what was I doing? Oh yeah, I need to finish putting the plant food in all the plants... What a mess. 

I know I have had some issues with forgetfulness because of a head injury 20 years ago and the past 15 years I have had brain fog due to fibromyalgia, also known as fibro fog. My forgetfulness seems to be getting worse, unless it's because I am getting older. Wow, can't wait to see how I am in ten more years