God's Painted Artistic View

I awoke to the smell of a skunk that showed himself in my neighborhood. No, I don't like the smell of a skunk, yet God created the skunk.

I peak out the window as I close it to block the putrid smell lingering in the air. Then I see this majestic site from my third story window. The hues of primary blue, cobalt turquoise,  and yellow light temporarily fill the sky while titanium white highlights the cobalt blue mountains.God you created this spectacular scene.

The trees of various sizes and shapes have what appears to be a dark Prussian blue yet the color is just an illusion due to the early morning shadowing hues of carbon black. The trees are looking up beyond themselves as if to praise the creator.

The speckled grass, of  permanent  green and yellow medium colors, down below hasn't felt  an y humans walk upon it  this morning. This is a new day of hopes and dreams that haven't yet been awaken for most people's lives are in bed to capture what zzzz 's they can. 

The many birds are singing their tunes in the distant and adjacent trees.  I wonder what they are thinking. Their melody is like an angelic choir to my ears.  They are not alike but of different notes and pitches, singing their best for the creator. Maybe they are praising their creative conductor.

After fifteen minutes,  the sky has lightened up with various shades of white that makes every  thing so vivid. Also Titanium white, off white, and hints of yellow light, grays, and not-so-yet sky-blue hues are canvassing the tiny miniature trees atop the mountain. This glimpse of the morning is a reminder that God is the creator. 

God, your uttermost being fills the earth, the whole universe and beyond. Thank you for this new beginning to start over and to learn from yesteryear. God, may I always know who you are: a breath of fresh air on a crisp, fresh morning, well, except for the scent of the skunk you brought to wake me up. You brought the smell of that one-white-striped animal to focus on you as a reminder that you created it all.

(Written on June 17, 2015  at  4:45 am)

I think I should go back to bed

I get out of bed on June 13, 2015 when I wake up to the sound of the rooster crow.  No I don't live near any roosters.  It's just the sound blaring from my alarm on my smart phone.

I walk to the bathroom,  and notice that there is a lot of water on the floor by the toilet. I clean it up and I can't seem to find out where the toilet is leaking but I will find out later that it may be that it's from underneath the toilet.

I walk to my cat,  pick him up and then notice this 92 yr old cat just pooped on me. Yuck. So I go clean (and umm sanitize) my arm. He must not be feeling well,  because he usually uses the kitty litter box.

I decide to cook breakfast.  Realizing my stomach does better if I only eat the egg whites,  I attempt to separate them.  Half of the egg white ended up on the floor. So I clean that up.  Then I get the other egg and attempt to separate it by letting the egg white slide to the other half of one that's in the bowl.  Ugh,  part of the yolk falls in the bowl,  so I try to fish for it and throw it in the garbage disposal.  The next thing I know is that part of the egg white fell into the sink. Oh well, I pour what's left of the egg whites in the bowl into the frying pan to cook. (notice to readers: I do know how to separate eggs,  it's just one of those mornings).

Then I get my gluten-free bread out and noticed that the brand new bread I just bought is missing a half of a slice of bread.  I thought that maybe I dropped the other half of the slice.  Nope, it's no where to be found.  I decide to get two whole slices of bread out   and pop them in the toaster.

While the eggs are cooking,  I grab the toast and burn my thumb from the inside of the toaster.  (If you have ever seen gluten free bread,  for some reason they make them smaller.)

I place my cooked Canadian bacon and buttered gluten free toast on a plate.  I add the egg whites, as well.
Due to fibro fog,  I couldn't understand why my eggs didn't look like much. Oh yeah,  it's because I ended up with 2 halves of 2 egg whites because the rest was in the sink and on the floor.

I bring my food to the table.  Then I go to the kitchen and get a glass of ice cold water from the fridge.  As I walk from the kitchen to the table,  I take a drink of the refreshing water, some of it ends up down my shirt. Brrr it's cold.

I finally sit down to eat my breakfast.  It was good but for some reason I feel exhausted.  I have only been up for one hour; I feel like I should go back to bed.

A Turnaround Can Happen*

Imagine a man walking down a dusty road on a hot day. He has sweat coming off his brow and beard. His clothes are dusty and could use a little bit of a cleaning due to the mixture of dirt and sweat. This man is Saul who is known for being a tremendous persecutor to the followers and disciples of Jesus. (Jesus was the one who lived on earth for 33 years, was persecuted, died, and defeated the grave by rising again. This Jesus is God, the son of God).  Anyone who follows Jesus stays clear away from Saul but he doesn't care. He loves the mission he is on to find more prospects in Damascus.

All of a sudden, a light shines down from heaven and a voice starts speaking. Saul was probably shaking in his bones with fear and maybe about to pee his pants (or tunic). Jesus tells him that He is Jesus and wants to know why he is persecuting him. Saul trembles but doesn't answer that question and wants to know what he is supposed to do next. Jesus tells him to go into the city and that he would be told what to do.

He was not alone; there were men with him who heard this voice of Jesus also, but didn't see anyone. They were totally speechless and didn't question that voice they heard. When Saul got up off that dusty road, he could no longer see. He could have been defiant and have the guys help him walk the other way, but he didn't. He chose to obey Jesus and had the men guide him into the city of Damascus.

The only thing Saul could see was darkness in his vision for three days. The reason he might not have eaten or drank was because he was probably freaked out.  If he believed this was Jesus, then he knew that he was probably in some kind of trouble because he had been persecuting people who followed this Jesus.  Jesus could have ended Saul's life right then and there or have other people persecute Saul, but he didn't do that. When Saul was alone in darkness, I wonder if he had guilt and felt remorse. Did he have reoccurring thoughts of all the people he had persecuted? Did he see each of their faces and names? Maybe he was having anxiety for he realized what he had done to all those innocent people.

Jesus speaks to Ananias through a vision to help Saul. When Jesus first told him that he was to help Saul, he was deeply afraid because this guy Saul hurts and murders "Jesus' followers." He was probably thinking, "Jesus, are you out of your mind. Saul kills people like me. He hates You and people who love you." He declined the offer yet Jesus persuaded him by telling him that this guy Saul is a person that he is choosing and he will show him the things he will suffer. I don't know if that helped Ananias listen to Jesus more knowing that Saul would suffer, yet Ananias decides to obey Jesus and visit Saul. As Ananias touches Saul, his vision restores and he receives an added bonus.  He becomes filled with the Holy Spirit.

Saul spends times with the disciples, gets his nourishment and strength back, and starts preaching right away. Wow, talk about a miracle, a conversion, and an encounter with God all rolled into one.
Even though Saul started following Jesus, people wanted to kill him.  They didn't trust him because of his past. Just a few days prior, Saul wanted to kill people, so how could they believe what he said now. Was he telling the truth?

Saul had to prove to others that he was now a Jesus' follower. Others were watching him to see how he acted and treated people...It did take time, but people started trusting him and forgave him. He had to show them that God really changed his life....


In Acts 9:1-20



Photo by Expressive Praise

Brain Fog vs Chronic illness*

You may have Fibromyalgia or other chronic illness if:

You went into a room, and can't remember why you were in there.

You show up to your appointment, and find out you are there on the wrong day.

You know more than the doctors do.

You bring a 5 foot long list of all your symptoms to your doctor's visit.

You eat a bowl of cereal because you are too tired to cook.

You feed your cat (or other pet) and you are too tired to feed yourself, so you sit down on the recliner to restore your energy.

You do your laundry, and then you have to relax the rest of the day because of exhaustion.

You are thrilled to go grocery shopping because that means you got out of the house.

You can identify with seniors and their aches and pains.

You complain more about your aches and pains than the seniors do.

You pick one major thing to do in a day like doing laundry, shopping or exercising. (If you do two of them, you should be proud of yourself yet you may be about to collapse so hang on tight. If you do all three, there's a flareup coming soon.)

You do your laundry, you discover that you have only worn pajamas and comfy clothes all week.

You can't talk in complete sentences half the time.

You struggle to remember what you were talking about.

You totally get distracted.

You wake up in the morning, crawl to the recliner, and take a nap.

You eat breakfast and then take a nap.

You drive and get lost in your neighborhood.

You shop to find the comfiest clothes and pajamas.

You wear comfy shoes or slip-ons.  

You go out and do something fun, then your body is inflamed for 3 days.

You ask a person a question, then a few moments later, you have to ask them again because you forgot what they answered.

You go grocery shopping, and then you are too tired to cook, or eat afterwards.

You think curling up on the couch and watching TV is an exciting evening.

Hugs to all of you who can identify with what I wrote above. Remember You are not alone.

Friends Forever Passing Into Eternity*

It's not the best job that will be remembered most, or the clothes a person wears....It's usually the friends or family that come our way....Yet life somehow takes them away when you least expect it..Friends may move away. Some lose communication...and some may even pass through to eternity.
It's just a part of life yet it can be hard to deal with, at times. I couldn't figure out why I have felt sad in spurts, recently, but then I realized I have dealt with a lot of losses in the past 17 months. So I guess I have a reason for these emotions I feel...Yet I do know that I need to get out of the sadness and into focusing differently. I have had to turn on funny movies or videos, watch clean comedy shows, listen to uplifting music, and keep myself motivated because losses can get a person down...

Seven people I know, plus a neighbor's dog that I loved, passed away in this season of my life. I have to focus on the great memories and what I learned from them so the sadness and grieving process would minimize. I want to share with you something from each.

There was Lois Arneson. She was one of those ladies who treated everyone with love and kindness. She would call me "dear little one" for about 13 years.  She was like a grandmother to me. She has a special place in my heart for she showed me who God was by her actions. . The love, the care, and the kindness was truly genuine...I love her lots and miss her. She has written me many times in the years I have known her. I appreciated when she sent me Christmas cards and birthday cards with poems attached to them.  I cherish the letters, cards, blankets and other items she sewed for me.

Roy Vasquez.  He taught me to minister and show love to various types of people.  He was a former neighbor and was a big brother to me. He would call me "Tiny Tot," I think it was because I am short and it was close to Tater Tot. I sure do miss that brother of mine. At that time,  his brother Bobby and another brother, I can't seem to remember the name) started calling me "t-bone...I guess you can say that Roy's family loved Food.
I enjoyed helping Roy in various activities and ministries, such as:the prayer ministry, and the Water Splash Extravaganza. My only regret, is that I couldn't get a hold of him the last year when he was dying. I wish I could have seen him. Yet I am thankful for the last conversation I had with him a year before he died. He is one family member I will never forget, as you see, he was "my brother from another mother," as he would say.


Katie, a neighbor. I will learn from her boldness and I will always remember her beautiful smile. She taught me that when you go through tough pain, it's okay to smile. She was Aunt Katie to everyone who know her. I appreciate the talks we had, especially toward the end of her life and how she allowed me to pray with her during some painful days. I was so impressed that a women of her age (80 or 90 something) would be online. We laughed a lot when I was trying to fix her internet connection because her computer was in the bedroom and the modem was in the living room for some reason. So I kept running back and forth, wearing myself out, as the Verizon Tech, on the phone, kept telling me to push the buttons on the modem and the computer when it wasn't working right. Funny memories. I miss you, Aunt Katie...

Charlotte, a neighbor- I didn't know her that well, but I did watch her get around. She silently taught me that even though she was going blind the last couple of years, she still kept on going.

Bill Hammontree- a friend.  He was a man who loved to help people and showed kindness. Him and his wife would help me with rides I needed to church, at times. I am grateful to be apart of their kindness. I am one of many, they have helped give rides to church.

Bill Faulkner- a man with a great sense of Humor...I miss joking with him on facebook and church events. He was one of those guys that just made you laugh. I enjoyed his humor over the ten years that I have known him.

...then there was little Taffy, I miss my neighbor's dog who died last year. She was also apart of my life as well. I used to take her on walks and pet her many times each week for over 3 years. It's so nice how a dog can show you much love. Some may say, that it's just a dog. I say they are wrong, because a pet, can be a family member.



My dear Friends that left this earth. You will not be forgotten....you have left fingerprints on my heart.

I had written this blog about a week ago, then I found out yesterday that another friend of mine died this week or last. Her name is Virginia Thornburg. Virginia was a sweet, little lady; she was the one who started my nickname about fifteen years ago. She would see me in the foyer on Tuesday mornings. I was helping with the youth office work and she was leading the ladies Tuesday bible studies in the morning. She had a hard time remembering my name so she would associate my petite-ness with my name and call me "Teenie Tiny Tanya."  Then sure enough, others started calling me that, but then it was shortened to "Triple T (by Jon Llera)."  and then eventually I got the nickname "Teensie" which people continue to call me and I even started this blog called "Teensy Tidbits". These nicknames all started because of lovable Virginia. I am grateful for the times we have talked on the phone. I eventually started going to the ladies Bible Study that she taught and gained a lovable friendship. Her late husband was also dear to me. He was like a spiritual father; he would call me his daughter. I miss the both of them.

Thankyou for listening.

Understanding Fibromyalgia*

On behalf of all the people I know who has fibromyalgia and other debilitating chronic illness, I want to describe a little bit of what these people who have these illness deal with.

People tend to not understand ones who have fibromyalgia unless they have it themselves. It is hard to explain to people who don't have it...Yet the best way I can communicate it to others is how I feel with fibromyalgia.

Fibromyalgia feels like having the flu twenty-four hours a day, 7 days a week. I do know that everyone who has fibromyalgia may not have it as bad as I do, yet this will help you understand it a little better.

Think about the last time you had the flu or stomach virus. How did you feel? When someone has the flu, they feel weak and have little to no energy, where they can barely pick themselves up off the couch. They have feelings of nausea at times and deal with bowel problems. Their appetite changes and certain foods can make them feel more sick. Their temperature changes and they may feel like they have a fever. They can be really cold and shivering or really hot. It feels like their bones and muscles aches so bad...and may even cramp up. Their body has indescribable pain and they feel miserable and may feel down and not happy. Their stomach hurts so bad and nothing will really satisfy it. They are exhausted and need to rest. Their head may hurt; their eyes maybe sensitive to light, and ears sensitive to noise. When someone is sick they can not think as clearly, their brain feels numb and words may feel garbled when they try to speak. When they have the flu, the person tends to stay home, not socialize, and not feel like talking.  And they may want to cuddle up with a blanket and stare at the walls or the Television. 

These are "some" of the same symptoms that I deal with regarding fibromyalgia. I have lack of energy; my bones and whole body aches. I have food, medicine, and other sensitivities. There are times I can't pick myself up off the chair or floor.  The pain is so bad yet I know that I have to keep moving so I make myself stretch, exercise, or walk around to get my body from not becoming stiff or in more pain. Eating certain foods make me sick and I have tried so many medications, herbs, and supplements, and natural remedies but have had so many bad reactions to them so I can only do so much.  I do not take medication for Fibromyalgia because of the bad symptoms I have endured with taking those meds. (Some people with fibro can function more because they can take the meds for fibro). Also the exhaustion is tremendous but with fibro it's hard to get a good night sleep and get refreshed. When trying to speak, that's a different story. What you may call brain fog, we call "fibro fog," People with fibro have a hard time to remember things, think clearly, and words and sentences are twisted in our head before we try to speak. 

I have learned to live with fibromyalgia. I deal with the daily symptoms, yet if I complain about the pain, it's because it's worse than the day to day pain I endure that I have grown accustomed to.  When I smile, it may be because I am pushing through how I really feel; I made it out of the house; I watched America's Funniest Videos to get me out of my slump; I am glad to see you, AND/OR it could be that God gave me a boost of peace and strength. I have to do what I can to keep my mind from going crazy with all this pain. I make sure I am reading my Bible, communicating with God, watching my church live on Sundays, and watch sermons or teachings throughout the week to keep me spiritually in tune with God. I watch funny videos or movies and try to find the things to laugh about through my circumstances to keep my spirits up.  I try to keep in contact with at least three people a day to keep me connected with people.  Plus I work on my artwork, creative writings and lead an online fibromyalgia support group ( https://www.facebook.com/groups/fibroBandS/ ) and pain management group ( https://www.facebook.com/teensytidbits ) on facebook to keep me active. This road I live is not easy, but I do what I can to keep going forward.

I have heard so many people with fibro tell others that their friends, co-workers, or families don't understand what they are going through and they think they are lazy, they need to get out more, be more active, lost weight, be more productive, etc... so that they will get better and their fibromyalgia will disappear or minimize...This is not the case.. We are still waiting for a cure.

Just think of the last time you had the flu...How did you feel? Did you still do everything you did before you were sick?  Did you eat the same way, act the same way, and have the same energy? When you had the flu, were you exercising a lot, eating meat and potatoes, going out to concerts, or did you call off of work for a sick day, eating soup, and curl up on the couch or hug a toilet? lol

Please be more patient and understanding of people who deal with fibromyalgia....they deal with more than you ever now....They need your encouragement, love, and strength.

Please share this with everyone you know so they can understand fibro better.

A Beautiful Hawk*

I was so fascinated by this hawk that was flying toward my 3rd story window..
and coming closer and closer.
It was awesome to see this beautiful creature
until I saw what he was holding.....
his lunch...
....a rat....
 a long rat's tail hanging and poking though the claws of the hawk.
The hawk let me peak at the rodent.
Eeeeewwwww that just grossed me out and gave me the creeps.....
he came up to my window to give me a great view
and swooped over to the roof....

I heard there is a hawk nest behind my apartments.
For some reason, I didn't feel like finishing my breakfast

Teensy Tidbits is here to stay*

A year ago, I decided to divide my blog and make two blogs. One was for my creative writings "Expressive praise" and the other one to encourage others on debilitating chronic pain "Teensy Tidbits for Managing Pain."  It wasn't working as well for me so I am going back to just writing one blog.


Stay on this blog site because this is the one I will continue to do my creative writing and show my artwork...


Thank you for coming with me on this adventure and chapter of my life.

Are you content?*

What makes you happy, content, and joyful? People always say the grass looks greener on the other side. Why is that? Why do we tend to want things that we don't have? Or if we are single, we may want to be married...if we are married, we may want to be single...if we have short, straight hair, we want long, curly hair? Why are we like that???
Try to be content who you are... I know it may not always be easy,  but find happiness where you are.  Do not look at what others have or do.  Do the best you can with what you have.  It's good to set goals for a better life,  but find that happy medium on the way there,

God Used a Cricket to *Save My Life*

In December of 2014, I was having problems with feeling very weak and nauseated. I do deal with Fibromyalgia (Fibro) and a list of other health issues so feeling weak and nauseated is not new to me. Even Fibro sometimes feels like the flu. Yet this was weird because I couldn't get up off the floor of my lounge pad on that Monday.  Usually I can go about doing things a little at a time, but something was different this time.  I thought that it was just another health issue I have to endure so it didn't really bother me too much. On Tuesday,  I felt a little better but I could barely do my laundry. I just sat by the dryer and pulled out the clothes and threw them over my head to the table because I was too weak to get up. I didn't even fold all of them. I don't normally act like this.

On Wednesday, I saw a cricket in my kitchen. I don't like crickets because I have a hard time sleeping with the sounds they make of chirping or chiming in the middle of the night.  I tried to catch it with a cup I found nearby, yet it hopped to the back of the stove.  Grrr, I thought. I am never going to be able to get it. As it hopped behind the stove, I leaned toward the wall to see if I could see it.  All of a sudden I smelled gas coming from behind the stove.

I immediately called the gas company, and sure enough the gas repairman confirmed the gas leak coming through the regulator of my stove.  As he was fixing it, I looked around, behind, and under the stove to locate the cricket, but no luck. After the repairman left, I opened the windows and felt fresh air fill my lungs immediately. I even noticed that my cat Buttons was walking around more after I opened the windows.

The next day I saw the cricket hopping out of the kitchen. I ran to catch him because I didn't want him in my bedroom making those cricket sounds. Yet I felt sorry for him. Poor little guy; I didn't hear him make a peep the night before. He probably felt sick, too, due to the gas leak. It was because of him that I smelled the gas leak, so I decided to capture that little guy and bring him back to the good outdoors where he belonged.  I walked down the three flights of stairs, opened the door, and released him. I gave him a second chance as I got one too.

God sent that little cricket to save my life and also my cat's life. If I didn't see him hop near the back of the stove, I wouldn't have known I had a gas leak.  I have heard people say that animals (cats and dogs) have warned people when danger was close by. God must have a sense of humor, because he sent me a cricket.

ART is a Good Distraction*

Wow, I can't believe I haven't touched this blog since September of last year.  I have been working on artwork to keep my mind off of physical pain which is a good distraction, I might add. Yet I guess the fibro fog kicked in and I forgot about my blogging that I love to do.
I am a member of the local art gallery and try to keep myself motivated to have something brought in the gallery every 5 weeks.  There was a funny moment about my artwork, In November or December, I was feeling a little delirious and not well yet I didn't have anything new to put in the gallery. I felt very weak and wasn't in my right mind. I went through some old sketches I did in ink when I was around 13 years old and threw one in a frame. I put $25 on it and displayed it in the gallery.  It even had my assignment grade of a "B" on it and the class number....I didn't think anything of it until I got a call from the gallery saying that someone bought it...I thought "Yikes, I really didn't want to sell it because it was from when I was a kid." I did take a picture of it so I would have a copy of it but I had to reset my camera phone and it totally erased that picture amongst others. So that was bye bye picture.

EYE in the STORM

I did enter a piece "Eye in the Storm" in a photography art show. First, people were just passing my picture by, but then I started interacting with them to get them interested. It worked.  People were literally sitting on the floor trying to figure out what my picture was. It was too funny. This picture is actually of me holding a glass of water that the light of the sun made the water glisten. I thought it looked so cool, so I took a picture and put it on facebook (FB) and asked people what they thought it was.  That is when I started a game on FB called "Tanya's Picture Game," which I still do.

Pilgrimage to Zion

I also had worked on another painting "Pilgrimage to Zion" for about 4 months minus the one month I took off for Christmas. My apartment is too small to have an average size Christmas tree and work on a painting at the same time.  I finally finished it in February. It was so great to finish it, yet it was so hard to let it go when I gave it to the new owner. My paintings are kind of like my babies because I put so much time and energy into them. I also had someone ask me to restore an old photo. I have never done that before so that was fun and a new challenge.

Eucalyptus Trees

Every year for the art gallery they have a Multi Medium Mini (MMM) Art show in March. I have been disappointed each year because I haven't been accepted.  I started asking what the other artists are doing and I learned from their techniques and what equipment they use. I decided  that I really need to improve my artwork abilities and supplies. This year, being very nervous, yet I pushed through the rejection I felt in the past and entered the MMM art show, I was finally accepted into the MMM Art show this week, where the "Eucalyptus Trees" is displayed. It felt good yet I did feel bad for the ones who didn't make it in because I know how hard it is when one's work is not accepted.

I am so grateful to God that He has given me this talent that I have been working at wholeheartedly in my middle aged life. Yikes, Yes It's hard to say that I am middle aged, but it's the truth. I have been there for awhile but didn't like to admit it.  I focused on my writing abilities most of my life and took a few art classes in elementary and middle school but I didn't think I was any good, yet now to see my art abilities grow, is truly an amazing experience and I do thank God.

Here is my link to my art portfolio that I am working on continually: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1380021952284491.1073741829.100008300975340&type=1&l=07061a5251


artwork is by me, "Expressive Praise"

Look Forward in this Life of Pain*

Wow what have I been doing for the last five months that I haven't even touched my blogs.  I know I have been doing a lot of taking care of the physical pain that I endure.
I have been trying to focus on my artwork to distract me from the pain, yet at times, it just wears me out that I can't do what I want to do, when I want to do it. If you suffer from chronic pain, you will totally understand what I am talking about.


In October I started working on a painting which I finished in February. It is called, Pilgrimage to Zion. This painting has different people on their journey to Zion (Heaven). There are all sorts of people there. Ones who are happy, sad, depressed, rejoicing, etc...I even added a person in a wheelchair who is struggling and feeling all alone. I know a lot of people in physical pain, including myself, may not be in a wheelchair but it's the universal symbol that a person in a wheelchair has physical problems. So I added it to symbolize all of us who may be struggling physically. We each need that eternal goal to help us on this earth. We hunger for something to even fulfill our spiritual appetite.

I have learned to lean on our Heavenly Father God to get me through the life I live, in this tremendous pain in my body.  I know that God can give you that strength too. He might not heal you but He will help you deal with it all.  I pray for healing, yet I learn to be content with all that was given to me. I know it is not easy and I know that God may never heal me yet I keep going forward.
I deal with Fibromyalgia, Severe TMJ which I need a jaw replacement surgery but there aren't any good results yet. I deal with Headaches that lead to migraines. I have anywhere from IBS to feet problems, to neck problems, to sensitivity in my ears where I can't be around a lot of noise, which also means I am unable to go to church often because of the noise levels. (I have found a church that I can do online live each Sunday).  Even as I am writing this, I am in tremendous jaw and head pain that is radiating through to my neck all because I visited a store that had loud music on. It overwhelmed my senses even with earplugs in, and now I am fighting a migraine. I am only telling you all this so that you will understand what I deal with and you may realize I may identify with you. Through all this pain I go through, I have to keep my focus on God and keep my focus on the eternal life of Heaven. If I don't keep my focus then all this pain can be overwhelming. In Heaven there isn't any pain or suffering, and I take pleasure in it. I can't wait for that beautiful day where there is no more pain in my body and that I can see God face to face without any filters.

Got Pain?*

I share from my experiences of what has helped me through all the debilitating pain I have gone through in my body and post it to the Facebook page I lead. I also lead a support group online. Because I have had over 19 years of debilitating pain, I try to encourage people who go through pain. Pain isn't fun and I don't wish it on anyone. There were many times in my life that I felt alone with the pain I go through. I don't want anyone to feel that same lonely feeling that they are all alone in the world of pain. Know that we do care. Please check out these websites:

1) "Teensy Tidbits for Managing Pain": https://www.facebook.com/teensytidbits
(Click on the link above, and when it takes you to the site, click on the "like" button and you will get updates when I post to the page)


and for those of you who have fibromyalgia, Please join the support group I started.

2) "Fibromyalgia:Fibro Brothers and Sisters": https://www.facebook.com/groups/fibroBandS/
(Click on the link above, and when it takes you to the site, ask to join the group. I think there is a "join group" button to click on.  This is considered a closed group which means that only the members who are in the group can read what the posts and comments are. After you ask to join the group, I need to approve each person to become a member and they will be able to participate in the group)

Pain Medication,Lyrica Anyone?*

If you have been in debilitating chronic pain for awhile, you may be like me and have tried almost every medicine out there. Sometimes you may feel so desperate to try any medication or other alternative because you just want to get out of the pain you are in...

Recently I was reading the Guidepost magazine and came across an advertisement for Lyrica. On the top of the page, it says: "Having LESS Diabetic nerve pain means everything to me." It looked like maybe something I may want to try because of this friendly picture I was viewing of a couple holding hands and leaving some sort of shop.  (I guess that is what they were trying to do). Although Lyrica is for diabetic nerve pain, it is also prescribed for fibromyalgia, which is one thing out of many that I have wrong with my body. So I thought I would read more.
I read: "Prescription Lyrica is not for everyone."

Okay so I read the article and realized, hmm. I wonder how many people are in less pain but are dealing with all of these symptoms from Lyrica. 

Tell me if you would like to try this medicine even with all the symptoms that were written in the article: It says that you may get any of these side effects: serious reaction such as swelling of the face, mouth, lips, gums, tongue, throat or neck, trouble breathing, rash, hives, or blisters. It even states that you if you notice that you are harming yourself, have suicidal thoughts or if you have an unusual change of behavior to notify your doctor. Do people read this article and immediately call their doctor for a prescription.  So far, I am against this medication because of those side effects listed above...yet I was curious, so I read more.

It says: you may also experience swelling of hands, feet, and legs, dizziness, and sleepiness, blurry vision, weight gain, trouble concentrating, dry mouth, and "feeling high." (Hey sign me up. Just kidding...) lol

There's more: muscle pain, feeling sick, feverish, changes in eyesight, skin sores, swelling, fever, hives, weight gain, dry mouth, new or worse depression, new or worse anxiety, feeling agitated or restless, panic attacks, trouble sleeping, irritability, being aggressive, angry, violent, acting on dangerous impulses, talking too much, and doing more activities in extreme. 

(I can just picture someone on Lyrica.  Because they gained 100 lbs, they ended up with a low self esteem and then got more depressed so they tried to harm themselves, but got dizzy and angry and ended up killing someone else. Then they have trouble breathing yet are talking a mile a minute... But boy, oh boy, they are PAIN FREE...or are they? The rest of the side effects may be: gain soreness, muscle pain, weakness, and trouble concentrating.
 Umm no thank you...that doesn't seem like the life I want. lol

It does strike me funny with all the side effects listed but there is a possibility of getting some of them.  I am one of the unlucky people that have bad reactions to a lot of medications. I can see myself with a lot of those side effects if I took Lyrica because I already am sensitive to a lot of meds.  I know I couldn't handle it. 


(Please don't be offended if you are on Lyrica. If it helps you, that's awesome. Just be careful...and about this post, Hey we have to laugh when we deal with all this pain, right?)

Note: some of the symptoms above are anaphylaxis 

note: Lyrica Advertisement was in Guidepost September 2014 edition

picture above is from: http://medcitynews.com/wp-content/uploads/bigstock-Woman-Forgets-To-Take-Her-Medi-10337705-588x588.jpg

Through the Storm*

It seems like I have been doing a lot of defending God lately...there are so many people hurting and are angry at God. I tell them my story that there were times in my life that I was angry at God because He didn't heal me, he didn't take me out of the emotional or physical pain or abuse that I endured in my life and even the fact that a close friend died at an early age was hard on me.

 but I realized that God loves me unconditionally. He is always there through the hard times that I struggle. Yes I would love to be healed; Yes I would have loved to be raised in a loving family environment, and yes I would love for everything to be great... but it's not....and if it was, I wouldn't need God.

I have learned that suffering happens and is no respecter of persons. Life can be hard. But we have to deal with it and not avoid God because of the suffering. He didn't take me out of a life of pain, but he brought me closer to Him through it. He gives me strength through the suffering...He helps me help others because of it.

and He can do it for You.
So it's okay to be angry at God for a season, but then let it go. Grieve your losses and deal with what was handed to you. And cling on to God for being the ultimate Father, Friend, and Encourager you can lean on for strength.  Don't let the suffering you experience and the suffering you see others experience get between you and God.  HE DOES CARE !!!

What Do You Smell Like?*

I was reading a devotion today about being the fragrance of Christ as in 2 Corinthians 2:14-15 and my brain starting thinking about how we smell like Christ.

"Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing." 2 Cor 2:14-15

When you smell something, it can make you feel good or bad. How do you feel when you smell a skunk? Do you want to cuddle with that skunk, and spend hours with that skunk? Do you want to make that skunk your indoor pet? Does the skunk bring you great memories? Do you want to smell like the skunk? Do you want to be like the skunk? If you do any of these, I can find you a counselor. lol.

Now, how do you feel when you smell a bottle of nice perfume or a blossoming flower? Do they make you feel good? Do you want to be around them? Do you want to dab the perfume on you or add a bouquet of flowers to your home? When you take a deep breath, does it makes you feel good and warm on the inside? (Well, it does for me).

We (as believers in God) are the fragrance of Christ, to God. When we are in Christ and Christ is in us, we tend to be like him.  We may start looking like him, smelling like him, and doing the same things that he does. I don't mean that we will end up being more hairy, sweaty, or taller. I mean, our spirit will begin to change. Our character will change. Our soul will change. We may even have a glow on our face. We will be more Christ-like.

Are you striving to be more like Christ? Are you spending quality time with God? Remember, we have the opportunity to spread out this fragrance of Christ to everyone we meet. 




scripture from NKJV

pic by  tk Expressive Praise

CRAZY Circle of Events *

The other day I was trying to get more sunlight for my cat and I so I decided to move a tray table that I use for my plants because it was blocking the sunlight spots in my living room; well I accidentally tilted the tray table, which made the plant fall to the ground, which made the soil fall on my carpet, which made me have to re-pot that plant, which made me re-pot 2 other plants, which made me get the vacuum out to clean up the dirt, which made me notice the dusty inside window sill that was near the fallen plants which I then decided to vacuum, which made me notice the other dusty living room window sill, which made me vacuum that one, which made me think since the vacuum is out, I need to vacuum my apartment.

And all I was trying to do was get more sun on my aching body. 

I learned from my cat, that when I can't get out of the house, I lay in the sunlight because it feels good on my body. He does it all the time, I didn't understand it until I tried it out...lol... it feels good.

Will You Take this Path?* to be Born of God?*

Are You Born of God?

When people ask this question, they don't literally mean that you were birthed and

came out of the womb of God, like a baby comes out of the womb of his mother. 

They are talking about it spiritually.


1 John 5 verse 1 says: 

" Whosoever believeth that Jesus is the Christ is born of God: and every one that loveth him that begat loveth him also that is begotten of him." KJV 

or if you want to read it in an easier standard, let's try the NIV:

 "Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well." (1 John 5:1)

and then there is John 3:16 (NIV) says: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

In other words, If you believe that Jesus is the Christ, you are born of God a.k.a. being born again (spiritually). Our father God and his son Jesus Christ are one, so if you love one, you love the other.  It's kind of like eating ice cream, you like eating the ice cream and all it's ingredients that make up the ice cream. They are all as one.

that concludes being born of God 101



note: all scripture is from www.biblegateway.com

Be Careful What you Promise* to God*

I was reading a book the other day and it mentioned Judges 11:30-39. So I got my old Student Bible out that was given to me around 1986 from my Sunday School Teacher. Do you ever read something in the Bible and you are surprised at what you are reading?

First we read, verse 30 and 31:

" And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord: “If you give the Ammonites into my hands,  whatever comes out of the door of my house to meet me when I return in triumph from the Ammonites will be the Lord’s, and I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering.”

That prayer may sound kind of reasonable, if you have a lot of animals in your house. Yet I couldn't or don't want to sacrifice my cat Buttons. I don't know what Jephtah was thinking when he asked that request. Maybe he was just desperate for winning. (Let's call Jephthah, "Jeph," for short.)

In verse 32,

"Then Jephthah went over to fight the Ammonites, and the Lord gave them into his hands..."

That sounds great. Jeph got exactly what he wanted from the Lord. 

Verse 34: "When Jephthah returned to his home in Mizpah, who should come out to meet him but his daughter, dancing to the sound of timbrels! She was an only child. Except for her he had neither son nor daughter."

Oh no, STOP!!! His daughter comes out of his house.That wasn't supposed to happen. I mean, Jeph, never even considered that his daughter would be the one to be sacrificed.  (I would have said, "oops, God, I made a mistake.) Remember what he said to the Lord. God, if you give the Ammonites into my hands, whatever comes out of Jeph's door, I promise I will give it in a burnt sacrifice.

Let's continue:   

"When he saw her, he tore his clothes and cried, 'Oh no, my daughter! You have brought me down and I am devastated. I have made a vow to the Lord that I cannot break.'

(I think it's sad that he seems to blame it on his daughter; she had no idea that he made a vow to the Lord.)

“My father,” she replied, “you have given your word to the Lord. Do to me just as you promised, now that the Lord has avenged you of your enemies, the Ammonites.  But grant me this one request,” she said. “Give me two months to roam the hills and weep with my friends, because I will never marry.”

“You may go,” he said. And he let her go for two months. She and her friends went into the hills and wept because she would never marry.  After the two months, she returned to her father, and he did to her as he had vowed. And she was a virgin."

Wow, what devotion Jeph and his daughter had. I think I would have liked to say, "Just because you made a vow with God, doesn't mean I have to follow through with it. BUT she went along with it. That is true devotion or dedication. That's amazing, yet strange to my human eyes and ears.  I don't know what kind of sacrifice he had to make because She says that she will never marry and I guess she will remain a virgin. It seems like maybe there was another kind of sacrifice he was going to do instead of killing her. She grieves because she will never marry, not because she will die. Interesting!!!

 So I am thinking maybe the sacrifice wasn't where he had to kill the offering. Whatever it was, they were both dedicated and I hope God blessed them for it.

How many of us made a promise to God and kept it, even when it affected others? Now that's something to think about.

scripture taken from: 

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Judges+11%3A30-39&version=NIV

Please Be Patient With Us*

I have Bursitis, and Hammertoes,
also deviated septum in my nose.
IBS, TMJ,
these acronyms I rather not say.
Degenerative Arthritis in my jaw,
makes me want to scream FA LA LA LA LA
Major allergies and sinus issues,
I have to grab some more Kleenex tissues.

Arthritis in my neck and some more...
Makes me want to hit the floor.
Inflammation all over, head to feet,
during weather changes, it's down beat.
Have to keep chin up and not feel dread
with all the sensitivity to foods and meds.

Then there are the gray spots in my vision,
hundreds of thousands of tiny specks on a mission.
Doctors can't seem to know what they are,
but, oh they are a bother, to me, by far.
They say not to worry about the spots, it's okay to drive;
but when you can't see well, how will I know if I have arrived? (lol)

Because of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain syndrome;
many times, I have to change my plans and stay home.
The ear sensitivity, has me wearing ear plugs every day,
I hear too well, but "umm, what did you say?"
Deciphering words is hard, at times,
Yet I can hear the clink of two tiny dimes.
Sounds echo in my ears.
Don't worry, I've been dealing with it for years.
Tender points are painful and nothing to joke about,
they are all over, and at times, make we want to pout.

Flareups, painful spots, burning sensations galore.
sharp pain, pressurized, prolonged and more.
Feeling so clumsy, bumping things, and dropping things, always;
thankfully I have lights in my hallways.
Stressors, weather changes, or nothing at all
can cause a major flareup of pain, "oh I am having a ball".
Sleep deprived, restless nights
with my blankets, I have many fights.

Forget about money and pain free days,

just give me a good night sleep and give me praise.
I need encouragement and a big smile,
but don't condemn me for awhile.
Or not at all, if you please,
because I am not a leper, or diseased.
I am valuable and a human being
who deserves much and true meaning.
Love is kind, love is sweet,
I know I should be more upbeat.

When YOU have the flu and feeling, oh so miserably down,
just remember all the advice you gave me, and do not frown.
It's okay to be feeling down at times and joyful at others
It's just a part of life, my dear sisters and brothers.
We need to be free to laugh, to cry,
if we don't, then inside, we may die.

If when you ask me how I am doing, and I say "I'm okay,"
just realize, I got up, got dressed and arrived today.
This may be a high pain day, it's true;
but I made it; I'm here and I pushed painfully through.
I may want to lie down, because fibro feels like the flu;
so any encouraging words, is way overdue.
But if I have to stay home due to all of this stuff,
please understand me and still love me, because this is rough.

I press on, yet more slowly than others
and please don't compare me to your friends, and your brothers.
I have physical obstacles just to get out of bed, more than you know
and my life has changed it's course, and is not easy and does not flow.
If you are bothered by my complaining and how I deal with it,
realize how much more it affects me, and wish the symptoms could just quit.

So please be patient with me and love me too,
because of this pain, I fight; I fight hard, it's true.
Any strength I have, is easily depleted and gone by noon
but I am hoping more than you know to get some soon.
This poem was just to let you know a little more about what some of us deal with every day
with chronic pain and symptoms, we wish that it could be taken away.


I am bringing awareness about people, like myself, who have special needs and deal with the kind of disabilities that you can't see. They are the silent illnesses, that are so very painful but you can't tell just by looking at us that we have anything wrong with our bodies. I have been dealing with it now for 19 years. People with chronic pain don't always know how to express themselves and it's hard for people to understand. Yet thankfully I am blessed with the ability to do creative writing so maybe I am just a tiny spokesperson on the internet to get the word out to some people. Please try to be more understanding with your loved ones who have chronic pain and chronic symptoms and please don't immediately jump to the conclusions that it's all in their head. You just never know what some people deal with. The most important thing you can do for that person, is be a good friend. Having to deal with chronic debilitating and painful conditions is hard, yet dealing with it alone, is so much worse.