Ask, and You Will Receive?*

I have heard so many people quote this scripture:  "ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it."   (John 14:14) So that means whatever is in this world I want, I can have, right?  Isn't that what people are saying?


"Dear Jesus,
and I would like to eat whatever I want without any health issues attached to it. Like for instance, I want right now: a monster hamburger as big as a building, a 100 oz chocolate shake, and a big house full of curly fries. and I also want 200 oz. of Dr. Pepper and 100 lbs of brownies. So God, you said that you would give me anything I want. This is what I want; I am waiting."
Do you really believe that God wants to do that? Do you really think that He WILL give you everything that you specifically ask for? I really doubt it; actually I know it won't happen. Let's look at the scriptures right before John 14:14.
"Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father."John 14:12
If you live for God and do what He wants, than you have the mind of Christ.  Having the mind of Christ is like wisdom to decid what is best for your life. The list I made above is not real. Those things will not happen, some of them are totally impossible.  Well, actually some of them might happen.
But for the most part, I know in my personal life what God wants for me because I want what is best for him. It's easy to get caught up in the "wanting from God" stages of your life...Yet knowing you are doing God's will is awesome.
^{John 14:13  says"} And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son."  
Would God be glorified if I had a mansion or 1.2 million dollars?  Probably at first, but then I don't think I would feel I needed him, so I might just toss him to the side. I hate to say it, but it's probably true, for me. God will do things in His name, if He will be glorified.  Just because we think he may be glorified through a situation, doesn't mean that it's true either.  

The scripture says: ask and you will receive.  It doesn't say ask and you will receive the exact same thing you are asking for.  God may bless you in other ways, instead of maybe getting that healing you wanted, or that job promotion, you thought you needed; he may bless you in another way. If we stay in tune with him, he will do what is best for us.
A lot of you know that I have a tremendous list of health issues that affect my daily living.  I pray and hope for a miracle, but I also do what I can to glorify God, through all that I am going through.  If I can touch people's lives through writing my experiences on a blog, talking to people around the world on the Fibromyalgia support group on Face Book, or painting a picture to give awareness to God or the pain I go through to bring awareness to mine and other's needs, than this is best for my life, at this moment.  This is God's will for me, for now.

^"these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.  What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words.”   
1 Corinthians 2: 10-13

p.s. I don't want all that I requested in the list at the top of the page. ha ha lol


I want 1.2 million dollars (to start out with),
an awesome husband,
some well-behaved children,
no more pain,
a mansion in CA,
a beach house in Hawaii,
my private plane with a 1000 ft swimming pool in it,
a house on the sun (without being scorched),
a grocery store where everything is free,
"the go transportation" (I go wherever I am thinking. If I want to go to Japan. I think "Japan" and I arrive a second later),

(just kidding) 

 I know, there are days that I have a pity party and want to be healed NOW, ASAP. Yet I know that God is using me to help encourage others around the world because of the suffering I have been through.  If people will reach out to God, or think about God more, or accept Him as their savior, then this suffering is worth it.

and God Rested...*

"Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array.  By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.Genesis 2:1-3 (NIV)

Can you imagine that there was nothing on this earth; there wasn't an earth, yet?  

No people working in the office or outside walking their dog. There wasn't even a dog to walk, because animals didn't exist.  No one had to pick up their dog's poop, or carry a bag to carry it. lol  (oops, Sorry...had to throw that in there).

There were no buildings; no office supplies, no desk or computers, paper clips, scotch tape,  nor paper to put in the printer....No phone calls, no faxes, no emails, no chattering employees, no bosses, no hard workers, nor were there even lazy workers...There wasn't anyone to complain about and there wasn't anyone to complain to.   

One didn't even have a bad day because there were no people, and nothing to do on these vast planets.  There was nothing out there that could be seen with our human eyes. 

So God creates the planets and everything in it.  

"Okay, let me put a "God" size pebble over here; I will call it a mountain. Hey, Jesus. Check out this mountain.  Isn't that awesome? I think I will put them all over the place.

 "Okay let me put some water over here.  Hmm, let me see...Yes, there it is, I will put  a bunch of water over here and some over there. I will put a bunch on this planet, but maybe a trickle on this other planet.  Wait, I put too much; let me take some water out of the planet and add it to this planet; I will call this one earth. You know, this is some great stuff. Yet it is missing something...Oh yeah, greenery....I am going to put a lot over here...well, actually, I think I will put the greenery all over the earth, because it's so beautiful.  Oh yes, let's see...lets add some colors to some of the greenery...Wow, it's so gorgeous...Wow, Holy Spirit, look at all this beauty. It's awesome." said Father, God (part of the Trinity).

"We see this beautiful creation, too, because we are creating it along side you," Jesus and the Holy Spirit, (who are both part of the Trinity) said simultaneously.   

"I know, but I just had to voice it because it's just so marvelous and breath taking." says Father, God.

"It's so beautiful, let's share it with others. Okay, why don't WE make some mammals, animals, birds, and some critters and than WE will make some people to help manage it's beauty,"  says Jesus.

After 6 days of creating, the Holy Spirit said: "Ta da, It's done."

"You are too funny," said Jesus.

"Okay, WE are done. Let's take a day of rest." said Father God.

I know it probably didn't  go like that, but my creative mind lets my imagination flow and think of what it could be like.

So how do you think God, who created all of this, rests?  Does He sleep in His majestic bed? Does He watch TV, play video games, read a book? lol. Probably not.  Have you ever thought of how the creator of the universe rests? Maybe He just sat down and just admired all His work... Have you ever done something like that?  May be you sat back and watched your newborn baby coo or smile for the first time.  Or maybe you planted a garden, and after a hard day of pruning, you stand back, and look at its beauty.  Or maybe you are an artist, like I am, and you paint, and then sit back and be amazed at the painting.  

Sometimes I like to observe and marvel at a tree, a flower, or the blue sky and just think of God's great awesomeness.  It totally relaxes me and puts my mind at ease.




It's okay to take time out of your day and admire God's beautiful creation.  It's so relaxing.

(Photography by Expressive Praise)

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Is Your Wick Trimmed?*

When the candle is lit, it brings light into a dark room.
It's not the wax that makes it glow, but the wick.
The wick needs to be trimmed to get the best results.
The wick can't be too long, nor can it be too short. 
Yet the candle is stagnant without something to light it up.


We are like individual candles. 
Our body is like the wax  and our character and soul are the wick.
We need to constantly change and be trimmed so that we are more effective.
God can use us to light the room around us.



When Jesus lights your candle,
He illuminates you and makes you shine so much brighter.
Impurities start to melt and the candle takes on a new shape with the light of the wick.
It's best to make sure our wick is well trimmed and ready to shine Jesus into a dark world.





(wrote poem on 3/21/2013)

A Silly Song about Sleep*

I just want some sleep

nothing too much
just some great deep sleep.

da da da. dunt


All I want is sleep.
The kind that you say:
"shh, be quiet...I'm asleep."

da da da. dunt

All I want is good sleep,
that's not fare,
that guy gets it, and he's such a creep.


da da da. dunt


May I have sleep?
Do I have to buy it
and does it come with a jeep?


da da da. dunt


Oh yeah, I need sleep
If you reap what you sow,
do you sow what you reap?

da da da. dunt

Me, oh my I need sleep.
Does it come in a container
or a bottle that's steep?

da da da. dunt


Oh yes, I need sleep.
When I catch it,
May I have it for keeps?

da da da. dunt

Going crazy because I need sleep.
When I get some rest
I am gonna jump up and leap.


da da da. dunt

oooooh yeaahhh, I need sleep
it's got to come sometime
or I am going to weep.

(lol)

I didn't know so many words rhyme with sleep. lol


(picture is of Buttons about to go to Sleep by Tk (Expressive Praise)

Silly Me*

I'm laying on the couch
I look toward the window.
The blinds are open to look out
and a tree is waving at me.
It's shaking it's leaves in the wind
and making me want to grin
because it's waving at me.

I'm laying on the couch.
My cat is sitting on the floor.
I pat the cushion for him to come
and he walks slowly to my side.
I reach my hand for him to touch
and he greets me with a little purr
because he's purring for me.

I'm laying on the couch.
The blankets around me are so soft.
One beneath me so inviting
and the one above me is delighting.
I cradle it in my arms
and feel cozy and charmed
because it's comforting me.

I'm laying on the couch.
I have only slept but a blink
yet all my thoughts are poems.
Am I delirious and awake?
Who cares? It's just me.
It's just God, my cat and I
because I am silly, you see.

As I'm laying on the couch,
I hope you read this poem.
I hope it catches your eye
and make you want to laugh
or make you want to smile.
But if you don't enjoy it, who cares?
Because it's silly being me.



(poem written on 4/3/13)

My Chronic Pain Poem*

Severe chronic pain is no joke.
Having daily pain?
Smile, you are one of us folks.

The pain can be burning, stabbing, or throbbing.
You try to act cool and smile
even through your joy may be robbing.

There are treatments galore,
I know you probably have tried them
and sometimes the pain hurts even more.

You try to function on a daily basis.
The pain feels like it goes forever
and runs through your body in different places.

Sometimes you feel like you are going nuts.
It starts to make you feel nauseated
and all you want to do is puke out your guts.

It affects your daily living no doubt, 
the cleaning, the cooking, working and more.
You want to just sit down, cry and pout.

People forget to contact you 
because they don't see your face around.
I hate to say it, but it's true.



They stop inviting you to fun places
yet they don't mean you any harm
but it does affect your smiley faces.

The loads of fun in the past is a blur
your social life is oh, so lacking
and you're home alone with a cat and his purr.

You have to pick yourself off of the floor 
and remember you are important
and no way, a bore.

so roll off the bed, and smile.
Let the sun in. Open those curtains 
that have been closed for a while.

Remember to believe you are going to make it
and pray for God to give you strength and love
because He will not fake it.

Take a deep breathe of fresh air
and enjoy fresh and newness
even though the pain is hard to bare.

Find ways to enjoy pleasures that are simple
like a flower, a book, and a cloud
or a child's smiling dimple.

Ask God for more simple pleasures
to help you smile and relax
for you, they may be a world of treasures.

Get up, face your day and again smile
don't compare it to other people
because this is your life, for awhile.

Even though  you are sore
try hard to find different ways
to smile, laugh, and laugh some more.

Today's Forecast: The *weather is a changing*

The weather is a changing.
What is brewing in my body?
some partly cloudy days
and rays of pain seem so naughty.

The weather is a changing.
I feel it in the air. 
The moisture stabs my skin
and it's a caution to beware.

The weather is a changing
My skin is crawling off its shell.
My muscles are wanting to scream
and my bones complain, "o well".

The weather is a changing
More sleepless nights to endure
because my hands and feet are burning.
My vision and dreams are such a a blurr.

The weather is a changing.
There's burning in my head to my feet;
neck, hands, and back;
nothing is lacking with this pain of heat.

The weather is a changing.
I have to deal with fibro fits.
All of my body is hurting, 
and even both of my arm pits.

The weather is a changing.
I have to keep my spirits up high 
because this fibro can throw you for a loop
and make you want to cry.

The weather is a changing.
Sometimes the rain is out and tears flow,
so I have to keep my umbrella handy
and hold it tight, so with the wind, I don't blow.

The weather is a changing.
Days like this, make me lean on God more
because the pain has increased;
and is intense even more than before.

The weather is a changing.
I know it's hard to comprehend,
yet I wanted you to know 
that through all of this, God does lend.

The weather is a changing.
He gives me strength to en-dure
and the people he sends me
helps me and lifts me up, for sure.




The weather is a changing.
It brought me closer to Him, that's true.

It made me lean on God so much more;

especially when I feel oh so blue.


The weather is a changing.
I guess, my character needed refreshing, no doubt.
My heart knew so much pain
and the weather changed my life's plan and route.


God thank you for the weather a changing.
I know that you know I deal with so much.
Please give me strength, give me peace,
and God, I thank you for your special touch.






Chronic Pain and Fibromyaligia awareness.
People with Fibromyalgia, Arthritis, and Chronic Pain Syndrome like I have tend to feel a lot of pain if the barometric pressure changes, the temperature changes, or if there is any moisture in the air. If there is any humidity of moisture in the air, it could be our worst enemy. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers, especially on those days. Thank you


Note: all pictures are by Expressive Praise

I Thank God for All My Senses*

I try to thank God
when I smell something awful,
like sewage or burned popcorn
because that means I have my sense of smell.

I try to thank God
when I see graffiti on the walls
or watch as the thick smog we breathe rolls on in
because that means I have my sense of sight.

I try to thank God
for painful jaw joint procedures
or when I have burnt my finger or had a paper cut
because that means I have my sense of touch.

I try to thank God
for the roaring sound of the ambulances that pass by
or having to wear ear plugs because of my ear sensitivity
because that means I have my sense of hearing.

I try to thank God
for the nasty medicine I sometimes have to take
or of sometimes the awful food that my tongue can't handle
because that means I have my sense of taste.

I may complain at times because of the strange or awful senses I have experienced, Yet I do thank you God that I can smell, see, feel, hear, and taste. Some people are not as fortunate. Thank you God that I have these senses.

Crazy OV Appts*

I went to my  M.D. or what they also call GP for a TX for my TMJ,  FS also known as M.E., and CPS. All he did was gave me a PX and another DX.

Awhile ago, he sends me to a Physio  because he thinks I need it..They give me a PX and turns out I don't need it anymore and I have been off of that Med since August of last year.  YAY...That Psych Dr wasn't too happy when I decided to get off of the med but once I did she was surprised that I was doing well... Yay for me for standing up for myself.

I tell the G.P. that I am going to a D.C. and he thinks they don't work...Well, I would rather go to a D.C. with no meds and get relief weekly then have another med added to my list from GP. My Dr wasn't happy when I got off the px I did last year...

One med gives you side effects and then you end up taking another med to get rid of those side effects...So yes I got off of 4 meds last year. Yay Me...lol

 So I have been going to my D.C. and he was nice enough to give me actual TX that really helps, with and adj, plus hooked me up to the EST, or was it the IST equipment, and other TX..


If you can understand this, then you are either in the medical field or you have been to the doctors way too much, like me. lol.

Fibromyalgia Poem*...What We Deal With*

Fibromyalgia is no doubt a pain.
You may feel like you are going insane.
Your skin hurts to touch
Your brain is not alert, that much.
The pain is so intense and excruciating everywhere,
and even your skin feels like it's crawling and hard to bear.

The vision is blurred, doubled, or even spotted
and the neck and back muscles, are all knotted.
Your head may hurt and feel like it will explode;
the pressure is so intense and feels like a huge load.
Your brain is so numb, unclear, and foggy
and if you didn't sleep well, you may be groggy.

Pain in the hands and feet increase when the weather changes
and runs through the body in different ranges.
Then there is the snap, crackle, and pop of the TMJ jaw syndrome
and it's even affected by the food you intake, from going out or eating at home.
We don't know what a good night sleep is all about
and it's hard to handle and not focus, no doubt.

The skin may itch all over your body and all you want to do is scratch,
and your immune system is lower, so sickness, you may catch.
The muscles spasms are no laughing matter;
they make everything worse, even the bladder.
Then there are the sensitivities to food, allergies, meds, and more.
Sorry if all these many symptoms, to you, are a bore.
But this is what we deal with on a regular basis
and we try to be our self and put on different faces.
We try to smile, yet there are days that it hurts to even do that.
Then there is the IBS that causes bloating and make us look pregnant or fat.
It is so embarrassing at times, with all that we have to put up with
and people say Fibromyalgia is all in our head, but that's such a myth.


We just want people to believe in us
and not to make a huge fuss.
We so want to live a regular life without pain
yet our daily challenges keep our energy drained.
So please take us seriously, we have feelings too.
Stand with us when we are happy or feeling blue.
Encourage us, pray for us, and help out when you can.
We need your support, your love, and to be our big fan.
Cheer us on, encourage us, so we don't feel alone,
by emailing, texting, visiting, or calling on the phone.


We appreciate all the encouragement we can get
yet if this is too much for you to handle, don't fret.
But PLEASE do not minimize what we go through,
because everyday it feels like we have the flu.
Think of going through body aches, weakness, and of the worst cases.
Well, that is what we deal with and even more, on a regular basis.

Fibro buddies, keep your chin up and breathe in fresh air;
Look up into the sky, and remember someone does care.
There is the God of the Heaven who knows what you go through.
He knows when you are having a hard time and feeling blue.
He has an unconditional love for you, He wants to share.
Acknowledge Him because He loves you and does care.
I  totally understand what you all go through
because I have a list of health issues along with Fibromyalgia too.

Poem By Expressive Praise 4/1/2013 (12 am)

(all pictures are from photobucket.com)

Cloud Therapy* (in Memory of Debbie Hodson)*

Cloud Therapy. 

There is something about looking up into the sky and seeing white, puffy clouds.  It is very relaxing and peaceful.  My dear friend, the late Debbie Hodson, loved to talk about looking up into the clouds and thinking about God's great love.  In 2008, when she was going through chemo therapy due to cancer, I made her a fleece blanket.  It was sky blue with white puffy clouds all over it.  I have been wanting to make more of them but for some reason I cannot find that same material in the stores that used to sell them.  I guess I should have listened to my mom and bought that material when we had that idea several years ago.  

I miss Debbie and I am still reminded of God's love when I look into the clouds. I imagine that she is having the time of her life as she is totally in God's presence without any pain... I wrote this poem in honor of her:

When the pain is so great and times are so tough

and you don't think you can make it, because life is so rough,

Look up into the clouds, high in the sky

as they are sitting still or passing by.

When the clouds are pure and inviting and are white as a dove

they are a small reminder of God's great and awesome love.

When it is overcast and the clouds seem, oh so gray

remember God isn't leaving; He is here to stay.

When all the clouds seem to have disappeared and want to hide

Remember if you do not see God, He is still always at your side.

so if you are having a sad moment or some major uncertainty

Lift your chin up, look up at the clouds, and remember God's cloud therapy.

I originally wrote this poem on February 18, 2009. Also the picture of the dove is a copy of the oil painting I painted in 2011 called "The Holy Spirit is our Comforter." The original painting is displayed at the Loma Linda Children's Hospital in Loma Linda, CA. It is in the children's cancer ward (infusion room). With a help of a friend, we donated it to inspire children who are going through cancer treatments and for their parents who need encouragement too.

To My Fellow Pain Buddies*

To those of you who have Chronic Pain or Fibro, this post is for you:

I'm so glad you all are in this group...I wish you all didn't have to suffer but I feel a new bond of support because we all seem to go through the same things. You all are my new fibro buddies....or should I say the msd's "moist-sensitive buddies" or the bpf's "barometric pressure friends"...whatever we call our selves, I wish we didn't have to go through the horrific pains and other health issues that go along with it...

I have learned through all this pain, to encourage others since I know what it is to be in various types of pains....To all of you...I hope and pray you have a great day...with more strength to do what you have to do, the courage to face the day...and to remember to take care of your self whether it is hot packs, Epsom salt baths, relaxing, or doing whatever you have to do to take the edge off.

Some of the most frustrating things we deal with is not being able to do what we want to do when we want to do it.  I did whatever I could yesterday to take care of myself so that I would be able to go to church..I took the Epsom salt bath, used the massager and the healax,  rested, and stretched but all night I suffered in pain.  It can be so frustrating to not do simple things like going to church.  It is good to go out and socialize and be connected with people yet it is so hard when pain has got me down. So it is a breath of fresh air to know I have you all on my team.

I know you all know what I mean because you deal with it daily too.  Remember to take care of yourself. Plus try to find an outlet for your pain.  I paint and do creative writing to help me forget the pain I am in and to focus on other things. I also have to lean on God for his strength because I would go nuts if I didn't.


Dear God
I pray for my new fibro friends in the support group.  You know what we all are going through. I ask for a healing in our lives, to take away this excruciating pain.Yet I know if that is not your will, I pray you give us strength to be able to get up, face the day, help us to take care of what we need to in our lives, and help us to be able to get out of the house when we are in so much pain so we don't seclude ourselves.  God, you are the God who saw Jesus die on that cross thousands of years ago.  You even heard Jesus cry in the garden of Gethsemane before he was on the cross, "Lord, please take this cup from me. Yet Let your will be done."  It was your will for him to die on the cross to take away our sins. and He ended up being raised from the dead and is alive and well...

 Lord I ask for your healing...Yet if you do not heal us, I ask you to show us what your will is for us. Thank you that you have brought us this far. I know I couldn't have lived with all this pain, without your unconditional love and strength... God, please touch each of my fibro buddies today and everyday and if anyone of them is mad at you for not taking the pain away, please help them through it.  I know that I used to be angry with you for not healing me but now I know I have a purpose in my life to help others...Help them through the hurt, the angry, and the frustrations, but most of all help them through the pain so that they can lean on you for love, grace, strength and hope like I have.....Thank you
Amen


Fibro buddies, have a blessed day...Remember to take one day at a time... Live second to second...We are strong people to have to deal with all this pain...Remember we are conquerors...


note: portrait picture taken by  Expressive Praise
Dove painting painted by  Expressive Praise

I Need Rams and Bulls*

I was reading the first half of Numbers 23:1-3 and I could not help but laugh because of my big, creative imagination. Read this scripture and then I will explain.

Balaam said, “Build me seven altars here, and prepare seven bulls and seven rams for me.”  Balak did as Balaam said, and the two of them offered a bull and a ram on each altar.

 Then Balaam said to Balak, “Stay here beside your offering while I go aside. Perhaps the Lord will come to meet with me. Whatever he reveals to me I will tell you.” Then he went off to a barren height."

etc...

First of all Balaam tells Balak, “Build me seven altars here, and prepare seven bulls and seven rams for me.” First I am assuming he has to get the animals before he can sacrifice them.  I am picturing Balak trying to catch seven bulls and seven rams..  He decides to gather some of his friends to help him. Some of them chickened out and asked, "Are you crazy or what?" Yet Balak insisted that he needed these animals so he can hear from God.

So he gathers about 5 of the strongest men he knows.  

(photobucket.com)

"One by one they capture the rams. Okay 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...yes they are all here. We have captured 7 rams. Okay now we need 7 bulls." 

He and his friends head over to where the bulls are.

Have you seen a bull lately? They are not the most gentle animals out there. And you must never make them mad, is what I gathered when watching a bull fight on TV awhile ago.  

(wikipedia.org)

Picture Balak getting ready. He has made a loop in his rope and has it ready to catch the big bull. He throws the lassoed rope and misses the bull. He gathers up the rope again and throws it again. Missed again.

The next thing you know, the bull is running towards him. Balak is getting all hot and sweaty...He is gritting his teeth because this bull won't cooperate and he is thinking as he is running down the field: "Man, I have to get seven of these." He yells for his macho friends to help...They are doing the best they can by lassoing their own ropes and swinging them toward the bull. Yet they keep missing.

The next thing you know is that there are 10 bulls running down the field in their direction.  All the men are scattered in the field running for their lives. They each finally get to the same spot, yet out of breath. The older guy asks Balak how badly does he need these bulls...Balak tells him that he really needs them. Another guy pipes in and says that he knows of a place in the city next over where they can buy the 7 bulls. They all decided unanimously that they will just go buy the 7 bulls in the next city over.

Balak finally presents the 7 rams and 7 bulls to Ballam to sacrifice.

I have just given you a picture of what might have happened at the beginning of Numbers 23... Some of the stories in the Bible, we have to speculate what happened because, they do not tell all of the details. Like this story you just read, Ballam tells Balak to sacrifice 7 rams and 7 bulls; he doesn't say how he was going to get the animals that he had to sacrifice. Just picture yourself in that situation and see where it takes you.

The rest of the story you will have to read on your own to find out what happened...

Check out Numbers 23 from www.biblegateway.com 

Are you like a Cat?*

I have noticed that my cat Buttons has a mind of his own. Buttons comes to me when he is hungry, when he wants love, and when he wants to play yet ignores me when he wants to, like when I want to pet him. Yet he always comes running when I am cooking or if I give him his food.  He comes to me when he wants attention, like when he wants me to pet his long-haired fur. Many times, even in the middle of the night, he will meow to get my attention while I am asleep and wake me up, just for me to pet him.  I won't allow him on my bed, so I tend to sleepily, throw down my arm and try to find him in the darkest of night to stroke his gobs of fur.  During those times, he just starts purring as though he is content because he has made contact with me and then he will go off on his merry way. There are other times, I just ignore him because I am too tired to reach down to where he is even though he will be persistent in his meows. Sometimes I wake up with him just starring at me while sitting beside my bed.  I wonder how long he watches me.

During the day, I enjoy petting Buttons. He has this beautiful purr that touches my heart.  I like to cuddle him in my arms and pet him. I don't have children, so this is the next best thing, or is it? lol. Half of the time, he tries to jump out of my reach so I can't touch him when he doesn't want to be petted. Most of the time if he wants to be petted, he will come to me so I will pet him. I love it when he throws his body down, and lands belly up; it's my invitation to rub his belly.  Yet there are those times that he still wants to be rubbed but he will lay just far enough so I have to move closer to him so I can pet him... Even when I give him treats, at times, he will sit or lay close to me, yet far enough for me to have to reach him.  I decided he may be trying to play a game or outsmart me, so I put the treats where he has to move.  I have seen him become so lazy that he won't even get up; he will lay down while he eats his treats or food.

My cat can be a "scared-y" cat at times.  If I turn on the vacuum cleaner in the living room, he will run as fast as he can and go hide under the bed. Then when I am vacuuming the bedroom, I know he is under the bed and I know he will jump out and run to the living room.  He scares me at times when he jumps out from under the bed even though I know he will do it. It's like I know he is coming, but I never know just quite when. He hates those vacuum cleaners.

I have a recliner. I have to be careful with the recliner. Because when I pull the leverage to recline the chair, Buttons runs as fast as he can to the other room as though the recliner is alive. He is afraid of the mop, the broom, and even anyone that comes to the door. He will growl when he hears the doorbell ring.  I kind of feel sorry for the 15 lbs of fur.  I try to console him when he is afraid.

If I pet Buttons too much, he voices his complaint. If I don't pet him as much as he wants, he starts meowing even more. Yet I have learned to understand the different ways he meows to know what he wants. I know when He is hungry, doesn't want to be disturbed, when he is sick, wants attention, when he is afraid, wants to be petted, or just misses me.

The more I think about it, I realize that sometimes I am like Buttons. I go to God when I want something. I want him to nourish me, keep me healthy, and console me when I am afraid. I want him to take care of my needs and my wants when I want them taken care of.  I know there are times that I do not want to be bothered, don't want to pray, don't want to do what God wants me to do, and I even will vocalize my complaints to him. I may do everything else that I think I am supposed to do while I am in God's presence but then I realize I haven't shut off the Internet, the cell phone, Facebook,  the radio, and maybe the TV.

Today, I had to make a special effort. I turned off everything for 1 hour and had a candle light dinner with God. I realized that my mind was racing because of all the advertisements I had seen today. All the bright lights that are on the high-tech things I own felt like it was making my brain literally light up.  Then I had all these ideas running through my brain of all the to-do-lists of things like, I have to check my emails, my Facebook, my Blog, and all the other stuff I do with all these high-tech things I own and use daily. I had to keep refocusing on God and his presence.

 I realized I haven't been spending a lot of quiet time with God. I am either reading about Him, writing about Him, etc...but I haven't had quiet time with him. So again, I turned the high tech things off, and decided to spend more time with God. I decided to lay face down on the ground, and pray.  I  sensed God tell me to just keep silent before the Lord before I spoke a prayer to Him.  The only thing I heard was the buzzing sound from the air purifier in my living room. I remember thinking, wow this is so nice and peaceful as I had my head face down on the blue pillow I had on the carpet.  But then I started to think about other things.  

Like I said earlier,  it  is so easy to get consumed with all this stuff now-a-days.  I remember when I was younger, I used to just think about like what is for dinner, or what is on my to-do-lists when I would try to pray and I would have to refocus.  Yet now it seems like it is so much harder to focus on God even when praying. I try to pray through out the day when I am doing things around the house or even when I go out, I acknowledge God in my mind and heart daily.  Yet I noticed I need to get back to having more quiet times with God.

Well, there I was, I finally was refocused on God. Then next thing you know, I felt a plop. Well, if anyone could hear a plop, I could...I look up from the blue pillow that I was leaning on to find Buttons' back, right at my face.  I told you he has a mind of his own. I began to pet him, and of course, he started purring. But then I realized, I had stopped praying and lost my focus on God and started to pet Buttons.  It was then that I realized I am a lot like this cat when it comes to doing what he wants, when he wants, and how he wants to do things. It is so easy to get distracted when praying. Well, I stopped petting the pile of fluff that was in front of my face and started praying to God.  

I love Buttons so much, and I know he loves me. He knows that I will take care of him.  God loves me so much, and I love Him and yes, I know that He will take care of me. When I go to touch Buttons, I realize that God reaches out to me, just as much, and even more. When I hear Buttons purring his contentment. It reminds me that God knows how much I love him. He hears my delightful heart.  But then again, when I know Buttons is ignoring me or wanting to do things his way, it makes me realize that God knows when we ignore Him and want to do things are own way. It is hard, but I need to stop acting like a cat, and really focus my attention on my God who loves me and takes care of me just like I take care of my cat.  

All pictures of Buttons where taken by Expressive Praise. 

The Spoon Theory-Christine*

Please read this post about "The Spoon Theory."  I didn't write it but I thought it will help you understand people who go through chronic pain, cancer, or other health issues that are hard to deal with... There are so many people with tremendous health concerns and the thing that would mean the world to them, is for you to understand them better.

A lady named  Christine Miserandino came up with this story "The Spoon Theory"  for her friends to help them understand what she goes through daily.

One of the hardest things about dealing with silent chronic illnesses that no one can see, is that people tend to not understand or don't believe the person is in pain.

I even have had a lot of people tell me that they didn't think I was in pain or felt sick all of the time because I do not look like it a lot or do not always complain about it.  They think the only time I am in pain is when I complain about it. Yet they don't realize that if I complain about it, that is usually when the pain is severe at that moment. For example: Besides Fibromyalgia (the silent illness), one of the many things I deal with is headaches. I have had headaches for 18 years; it lasts every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every month, and every year. Yet every now and then I might say my head hurts, but I only complain about the headache when it has increased greatly.

If you dislike it when people talk or complain about pain, then just bare with me, while you read the article please.  If you are one of those people who deal with the silent, chronic illness or pain, then you will totally understand the story. My definition of a silent illness is  having an illness that is painful with numerous problems, yet most of the time you can not tell by looking at me that I am in a lot of pain or that I have anything wrong with me. That is why I am encouraging people to read the spoon theory from But You Don't Look Sick.

This story is well written and it will mean a lot to me if you read it.... Please feel free to comment on it too. "Please take the time to read Christine Miserandino’s personal story and analogy of what it is like to live with sickness or disability. "

click on this link to read about "The Spoon Theory" : 
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

pictures and quote above are from
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/